Sunday, October 16, 2011

Fun At Work

Well, all right. This post should really be called 'Fun At Work For Me'. Because all this post is going to prove is just how big a word nerd I really am. You know, in case you were still somehow unclear about that.

My last two shifts at The Store, I have amused and distracted myself by writing all about my day. In haiku form. Some of these made my Twitter feed and Facebook page. Those would be the ones I managed to sneak in via my so-called smart phone when Management wasn't hovering around enforcing their no-cell-phones-while-you're-on-the-clock policy because apparently, they don't pay me to tweet or update my facebook status.

Whatever, Management.

The point is, I had a blast doing this. I really did. While The Man didn't seem to think it was a very good use of my time (This coming from the guy who routine has discussions with his co-workers on such deep topics like whether it is advisable to date robots), I'll probably do it again sometime. Maybe with limericks.

You should probably consider yourselves warned.

And now, for your reading enjoyment (provided you're still reading this), my day in haiku:

Heading off to work
Sometimes I think this job will
Be the death of me.

I am so tired.
Maybe I'll take a nap on
This stack of cardboard

Never mind cardboard
I forgot about all the
new down comforters.

New down comforters
Make a much better place to
Take a nice long nap.

Wait...did I say nap?
Because what I meant to say

Was...No, I meant nap.

Creepy customer
Just won't stop staring at me
Can I help you, sir?

Oh, wall of cardboard
Do you never shrink in size?

Please stop mocking me.

Are you kidding me?
It's only been an hour?
It feels much longer.

A box labeled 'heads'
Arrived at the store today
Scared to open it.

I think the time clock
Is really moving backwards.
This shift will not end.

Feeling shaky now.
Maybe skipping lunch was not
Such a good idea.

Stupid co-worker
Why must you annoy me so?
Please go away now.

Haven't done much work
Wonder if that would change if
I stopped writing poems.

I don't know why but
The new henley shirts smell bad
Where's my hazmat suit?

Working in retail
Makes me so very glad I
Bothered with college

My co-worker is
The most annoying person.
I want to punch her.

It's time to punch out
And run screaming for the hills
See you all next time...


  1. The 'heads' one was great! I say you keep doing these.

  2. I was wondering about 10 poems down if you actually did any work during the day, but then you answered my question with poem 12. :) College really was a boon, wasn't it?

  3. I do believe that you may be the first person in history to write a haiku using the words: hazmat suit.

    Japanese poems
    of creepy customers and
    boxes of heads rule

    And so does Melissa! These were fun.

  4. I loved this:

    A box labeled 'heads'
    Arrived at the store today
    Scared to open it.

    You crack me up, I think it was a brilliant use of your time!

  5. @Thanks Alex. The heads one was one of my favorites too.

    @Brent- Either to my credit or my co-workers' detriment, no one knew I spent a good chunk of my day composing haiku because I still managed to get a decent amount accomplished. Just not as much as I usually do.

    @Ava- I think all haiku should include the words 'hazmat suit'... Thanks for stopping by!

    @Bonnie- Thanks! I think I should spend every shift writing poetry.

    Oh, and just so everyone knows, that head box contained head forms on which to display our new selection of cold weather hats.

  6. As a fan of THE WALKING DEAD, of course you wrote a haiku with the words "Hazmat Suit"! Fun haiku's.

    I wrote one for my alien soul drinker to quote in my dark historical fantasy, RITES OF PASSAGE :

    Dreams drift like clouds,
    I reach to touch the moon,
    I grasp but empty night.

    Thanks for visiting my blog and staying to chat, Roland

  7. fun post. though I would make an excuse to leave work early to post on my blog.

    have a sweet day.

  8. Now, that's the way to make your day fly by. I might have to try it.

  9. Your twitter feed KILLED ME. Awesome :D

  10. These are hilarious and make me totally unsure whether to hate your job for you or love it because it provides such an outlet for creativity...

  11. you make it sound so enticing!
    hee ha!
    is your co worker
    a) perky
    b) nerdy
    c) creepy
    d) a tattle tale or
    e) other?

    great slice of life poem =)

  12. @Roland- Thank you for stopping by and staying to chat!

    @Golden Eagle- Thank you!

    @Liz- I highly recommend it, Liz. I bet with your job, you could write some awesome verse.

    @Jolene- Thanks!

    @Thanks Karen. Some days I have that problem too but then hating it always wins out in the end...

    @Tara- My co-worker is just irritating whose mannerisms just make you want to punch her in the face. (and it isn't just me who feels this way.) Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard and she never stops talking. Never.