I was going to blog this morning about something nice and happy because it's a day for nice and happy things. The sun is shining, the snow is melting (more on that in a minute) and my latest book order from Amazon is at the post office, just waiting for me to come and claim it. Oh, and it's my sister-in-law's birthday and I was going to write her a special birthday blog. But now I'm mad and so blindingly so that I need to vent all over this blog because venting all over the person at whom I am so very mad at would be inappropriate and would cause The Man to give me that whole what am I going to do with you look of which I am so very fond (That was sarcasm by the way.).
I am so mad. I don't know if I made that clear earlier. Let me say it again, just to be sure.
I am so mad.
I am so mad that mad doesn't even begin to describe how very mad I am. Irate. Furious. Incensed. Frakking Pissed Off. Those come closer.
Here's what happened:
I decided to go running this morning. A stupid thing to do, I know, when in the grips of some superflu/mono hybrid mystery disease (bonus points to anyone who doesn't point out that it wouldn't be a mystery disease if I would just go see a damn doctor already) but I was tired of sitting around feeling crappy. Also, the Gator Girl was in desperate need of an honest to goodness workout because if she didn't get one soon, someone was going to kill her (she may have inadvertently broken The Man's laptop this week. That caused The Man to give me another look, one that possibly suggested that the next time the Gator Girl and I leave the house together, the locks might be changed while we're away). Plus, there's the whole revelation that we'll be receiving a major snow storm this Friday (the forecasted accumulation starts in inches and ends in feet). Add that all together and I needed to get outside and run a little.
The Gator Girl is an excellent jogging companion. She stays in the heel position without being told to. Our theory is that she does this because we're finally moving at her pace. A lot of the time, when we jog around the neighborhood, I don't even have her on a leash because she doesn't need it. Today, however, I did. And it turned out to be a very good thing.
Because some of my neighbors were home.
I love my neighborhood. I do. The road is a loop that's perfect for walking/running, the views are pretty nice and we have beach down on the river that the dogs love to visit. I would just love the neighborhood more if I didn't have the current crop of neighbors that I have (I'm pretty sure they feel the same way about me.). A lot of them have dogs and while I am a dog person I am not a fan of people who just let their dogs roam and run wherever their little legs will carry them. My neighbors have an unfortunate tendency to do this.
It makes me angry. It makes me angry when, before I take my own dogs outside in my own yard, I have to check every window in every room of my house to make sure that one of the neighborhood dogs isn't taking a crap on my lawn or pissing on my foundation. It makes me angry that I can only walk my dogs around the neighborhood at certain times during the day because otherwise, the entire walk would be spent warding off all the neighborhood dogs who think its great fun to come running out and whoever is walking past. Their reasoning for this is that their dogs love other dogs. Well, here's the thing, you jackwagons, not every dog is going to love your dog. Some dogs do not appreciate it when another dog invades his or her personal space. Some people don't appreciate it either.
I am a dog person. I just can't stand their people.
So I've worked out a schedule of safe walking/running times. But today, one of my neighbors was home when she normally isn't. And not only was she home but she was outside her home with her four dogs. Two German Shepherds, one chihuahua and one pekingese. None of the dogs were on a leash. And every single one of them came charging the Gator Girl and I when they saw us coming. To be fair, the pekingese only made it as far as the end of their driveway.
But the other three came barking and running straight at us, left the yard and crossed the road where they forced us off the pavement and into the snowbank (and consequently a pile of dog shit...so happy!) so they could bark and snarl and snap at both me and my dog.
I. Was. Not. Amused.
I'm not afraid of dogs. I'm not afraid of German shepherds or Dobermans or Rotties or pit bulls. Nor am I afraid of being bitten by dogs. It's happened enough that it doesn't much faze me anymore. But this situation was scary because while I have waded into the midst of more than one dog fight into order to break it up, I know all the dogs involved. I know the owners involved.
Nor am I suddenly in the middle of it.
I didn't know these dogs. I didn't know what they were going to do but every damn time I saw one of them try to bite the Gator Girl, I- well, all right, I first put myself in between them and my dog- I found it harder and harder to breathe. It was not a good feeling. And the swarming didn't seem to be ending.
And I didn't know the owner. What did this woman do? She stood in her driveway calling her dogs. Her dogs who obviously weren't listening because they were too busy trying to eat my dog (who, by the way, was still pretty well behaved). It took a few minutes (yes, actual minutes) before she came out to get them. The Gator Girl and I in the meantime were doing some intricate avoid getting bitten dance.
"I'm so sorry," the woman said as she dragged her two German shepherds off me and my dog. "I didn't even see you coming."
I said nothing. I stood there, looking at the fattest chihuahua I've ever seen as he continued to charge and bark at us. I may have briefly considered punting him like a football but you can't prove it.
"I'm really sorry," she said in between failed attempts to call her chihuahua to heel. "I really didn't see you."
I still said nothing. But here's what I wanted to
scream say (and yeah...I'm going to use all caps. Because I'm that mad.):
(unrelated side note: I have no idea why everything is suddenly in italics. I don't know what I did to make it do this. I can't seem to make it stop either.)
So yeah. That's why I'm mad. I apologize to my sister-in-law. I don't want you to feel cheated out of anything so I am still going to write you a very special birthday blog. You'll just have to wait until Friday now. Congratulations, Alison, you're about to become a part of the A to Z Challenge.