Here's what The Conway Daily Sun had to offer me. It's a contender, I think, for Worst. Horoscope. Ever.
Your work requires you to be skilled in many areas, but the one that will stand out the most now is sales. Your smile does half the work for you. Listening carefully will be another big part.
Sales? Really? I don't want to be skilled in sales. At least not until I have a novel out in the world that I need to sell. Then I will gladly be a skilled sales woman person. But now, right now, the only thing I'm supposed to be selling is thermal crewneck tee shirts and jeans and outerwear and I don't want to be skilled in that!! If I never sell another jacket or pair of jeans for the rest of my life, it'll still be too damn soon.
I demand a better horoscope.