A lot of stuff happened in May, a lot of stuff about which I didn't get a chance to blog because I was revisiting my Russia experience.
The first of which is my new camera. That's right. I finally took the plunge and ordered one. It very helpfully arrived with an instruction manual with started with #1) Remove camera from box.
I wish I was kidding.
Anyway, the user's guide is the length of Gone With The Wind with a vocabulary that proves that whoever wrote the damn thing ate a thesaurus shortly before setting to work. It also includes pictures of icons. Icons which really mean nothing to me. So I'm taking the "pushing random buttons to see what happens" approach. So far, it's worked out all right. The camera comes with a "continuous sports" setting which allows you to take several in focus pictures of a subject in motion. This is a vital component when one has a Malinois (who was NOTHING but bad today. A trés mal Malinois!) as I do. Of course, when one forgets to change the camera setting from "continuous sports" setting to the sitting still portrait setting, one gets twenty remarkably similar pictures of her German Shepherd sitting still.
It's a learning process.
The camera also comes with a food setting. Yeah, a special setting devoted to taking pictures of food. I don't understand it and I have yet to try it.I have yet to have anything other than macaroni and cheese or bland soup to take a picture of. It wouldn't make for a very interesting picture.
There is also a close up feature which I like because I like to take pictures of flowers. I took one of my hostas (seen below) that I think came out really very nice. Both Joe and my friend, Heather, said it looked like one of those computer monitor wallpapers. Heather actually thought the camera's manufacturers had preloaded some images on there for the user to see the kind of shots they could take with their new camera. I decided to take that as a very flattering compliment.
I also took the camera to a Portland Sea Dogs game where my major league crush, Jacoby Ellsbury, was playing a rehab start. It make me think that maybe I needed a camera with even more zoom. Still, I took some nice pictures. Of the dirt around second base. I was obviously trying for something else (someone else) but I still have a little to learn about the - well, about the everything.
All right, I still have a lot to learn. In a quasi related side note, I also have a lot to learn about inserting pictures into these blogs. I'm just not used to it and every now and then, I look up and go "Uh...how'd that picture end up there?" So, if things are not properly spaced and/or lined up, I apologize.
In other May news, Joe had his wisdom teeth removed. All of a sudden, they just started bothering him, the bottom right tooth especially, and he had to have them taken out. I was not looking forward to this, given how annoying Joe is when he has a cold, forget oral surgery. Joe, I should mention, was afraid there would be an entire blog devoted to the experience but, as it turned out, it went too damn smoothly to warrant an entire blog. Instead, it gets relegated to a paragraph in a hodgepodge blog.
The funniest part of the experience was when Joe came out of anesthesia and asked me repeatedly (a) what time it was, (b) how long he'd been asleep and (c) how long I'd been sitting there. When he wasn't asking me these questions, he was telling me about the anesthesia process even though I'd been sitting in the room at the time it was administered and how disappointed he was that it wasn't like the last time he had teeth removed, back when he was a young lad of ten or whatever. I know the anesthesia made him forget but it was still damn funny.
The worst part of the experience was when the recovery nurse handed me a pair of latex gloves (or whatever they're made from now) and a pile of gauze and proceeded to tell me what to do in the event of a major bleed. I was looking at her in absolute horror when she added, "But don't worry about it."
Uh huh. Yeah, right.
But there was no major bleeding. There was no major pain. There was no major swelling. Joe maintains he had more pain before the surgery. He had his teeth out on Monday and went back to work Tuesday afternoon. And here I was thinking I was going to have to resist the urge to put a pillow over his face...
I jest. I swear.
I did learn two very important lessons from the wisdom teeth experience. The first lesson is that I will never, ever have my own wisdom teeth removed. I don't care how much pain they cause me, I will never sit in a chair and let some supposed doctor put me under and rip out my teeth. You know, again. I did it that one time but I was a minor and my mother said I had to. But never again, I tell you. And you know why? Forget my total lack of any kind of health insurance or dental insurance. No, it's because I would not have the dream experience that Joe had. I would have all the pain and bleeding and swelling and bruising and whatever other miseries are inflicted upon people who have their wisdom teeth removed. And then I would feel compelled to suck it up and soldier on because if Joe didn't whine and cry about it, then I can't either.
The second important lesson I learned came that first evening after Joe's surgery when I went to put an old pillowcase, one for which I didn't care, on his pillow so that if he happened to bleed on it, I wouldn't care. As I stood in front of my linen closet, examining my options, I realized that I didn't have a pillowcase about which I didn't care. I was ultimately forced to choose the oldest pillowcase I have, a Lion King one featuring Pumbba and Timon, left over from my dorm room days. Fortunately, Joe didn't bleed on it.
In other non dental news, we're making plans to do some yard work. And by 'do some yard work', I of course mean 'pay someone to do it for us' because we're hopeless at that sort of thing. We kind of have to do the yard work because of our new fun lack of trees. Now we have stumps. We have stumps everywhere and they're not all that attractive. This was one of the reasons (on a very long list) why I was a little reluctant to cut down the trees in the first place. This led to the following conversation between Joe and me:
Me: I don't want to cut down the trees because then we'll have stumps everywhere.
Joe: Nah, the stumps will be in the woods.
Me: The woods? You mean the woods we'll be having cut down? Because I think if you cut down all the trees, it ceases to be woods and just become yard. And an ugly one at that.
Turns out, I was right. So now we're having yard work done. Or, at least we're planning on it. We're still waiting to hear back from Shane the Arborist and Robin the Excavator. Shane the Arborist is also a landscaper. He's supposed to be putting together our work agreement but maybe he's decided he doesn't want to have anything to do with us because I haven't seen one yet. Eventually, they're going to pull out some stumps, bury others, bring in fill to level out our uneven yard somewhat and then plant grass. After all this, we're going to have the yard fenced in so that the dogs have a place to romp. The only catch is that once the grass gets planted, the dogs can't romp upon it for a few months.
So that means I'm going to have a beautifully fenced in yard on which I still can't my dogs run.
But at least it'll mean I won't necessarily have to spend all winter taking my dogs outside. Nope, they'll get to go outside and play in the snow while I stay inside where it's warm and dry.