The Amazing Race: Well, the final three teams head out. Ugly American Jaime and Cara, Margie and it's not nice to pick on a deaf person but we want to be treated like everyone else Mama's boy Luke, and Type-A personalty control freak Victor and his long suffering sister Tammy. Wow. Joe and I agree that the only person (notice I didn't say "team") we're actually rooting for is Tammy. The finale isn't really very interesting/exciting, not like it's been in races past and Tammy and Victor cruise to a relatively easy victory. My favorite part was Jaime's comment, "This is how you lose a million dollars." Because I thought the way to lose a million dollars was to stop at a Chinese porta-potty before getting checked in by Phil. Care to weigh in, Keisha and Jen?
Family Guy: I don't really watch much of this show but I catch it once and a while and it either disgusts me or makes me laugh really freaking hard. What else should I expect from the guys who do Robot Chicken? Anyway, I saw the commericals say that they were going to imagine the gang in three of Stephen King's novels and saw that two of them were Misery and the Shawshank Redemption and decided to watch it. It was very funny although I feel as though I should point out that "Stand By Me" and "The Shawshank Redemption (really titled "Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption") are both short stories found in the book "Different Seasons" along with "Apt Pupil" and one other story that is totally escaping my memory. The Stand By Me ending was particularly funny telling what each star of the movie went off to do (like "the fat kid from Stand By Me is totally married to Rebecca Romaine (I know that's not how her last name is spelled but I don't know how else to spell it either)...seriously! Go google it!" and then the potentially tasteless joke about River and Jaoquin Phoenix. Loved the "Thanks, Stephen King...we'll see you in court" at the end too.
Legend of the Seeker: The intrepid trio heads to the library where, rumor has it, there's another copy of the book known as the book of counted shadows, a book that Rahl wants to help him take over the world but Dick needs in order to defeat Rahl. Why another copy? Well, Dick destroyed the first copy way back in the series opener. Kahlan was not pleased. Anyway, Shota the Witch told Zedd The Wizard to go to this library where the librarian (a woman named Livia) has been hard at work deciphering clues as to its location. She's so focused on the clues that she's totally forgotten about her tween son who is, naturally, becoming a street thug. A street thug who gets into trouble with bigger street thug. So the delinquent goes to James the Painter for help. James learned magic at the library (see kids, going to the library is educational!) and is able to paint the delinquent actually into a painting in order to hide him from the street thugs. James then paints Livia into the painting. Dick, Kahlan and Zedd go to the library looking for Livia but, of course, she's not there because she's in James's painting. James paints himself into the painting too because he's crushing on Livia pretty hard. But she's all mopey because the library isn't there so James returns to the real world long enough to paint the library (filled to the brim with D'Haran soldiers...nice going, James.) into the painting as well. Well, long story short, Dick and Kahlan end up in the painting too where magic doesn't work and they could have sex all day long but when Darken Rahl sets fire to the painting, they all decide it's time to go. Poor James has to stay and perish, trapped inside his own magical work (let that be a lesson to you, kids, going to the library kills.). At the end, Dick reads from the book of counted shadows and discovers that the only way he can defeat Rahl is to use the boxes of Ordin...boxes that nearly turned Dick as evil as Rahl himself the last time he tried to use them....
Dancing With The Stars: It's semi-final night and there's a song stuck in my head. It goes like this: "One of these things is not like the others. Three of these things are kind of the same. One of these things is not like the others. It's time to play our game!" Yes, I am, of course, referring to Ty Murray, a very nice guy who needs to go home. It's outlandish that he stayed in the competition and Lil Kim was ousted last week. Gilles, Melissa and Shawn deserve the three spots in the finale and I will be outraged if Ty gets one instead. Yes, I think Shawn's Argentine Tango was overrated. I agreed that Melissa's dances were lacking a je ne sais quoi. But of course I have been a huge Gilles fan since his own superior Argentine Tango. Can't wait to see what freestyle routine Cheryl comes up with. Also, note to producers, the first half hour of your show totally sucked. What the hell was the freaking point?
The Big Bang Theory: Sheldon goes to the north pole and plans to take the other three with him. Penny doesn't want Leonard to go and gives him a snuggie. This is not the first television appearance of a snuggie (30 Rock featured one although they called it a 'slanket'.)...love it! Loved Penny's comment that the snuggie meant that wine, a credit card and late night television were a bad combination. Anyway, she doesn't tell Leonard that she doesn't want him to go and the last thing we see is the geek squad settling down for a double feature in their little Arctic cabin which looks remarkably like Sheldon and Leonard's living room. It'll be a long summer...
How I Met Your Mother: Barney tries to get out of a speeding ticket and Tony tries to make things up to Ted. Loved the gang's reaction to Ted's murder room opportunity and Lily's brief reappearance but the best part of the episode was Barney...which I say a lot. Next week is the season finale...what hijinks will the gang get into next?
Castle: I really do enjoy this show and hope that it is picked up for another season. Nathan Fillion is truly fun and if I can't watch him as Captain Tight Pants or Captain Hammer then I want to watch him as Richard Castle, crime fighting best selling author extraordinaire! Bring this show back, ABC...you owe us for that totally bogus first half hour of DWTS...and sticking us with Samantha Harris for as long as you have.
House: So I spent most of this episode thinking it wasn't a very good season finale. The episode before it, I was thinking, worked much better as a finale. This episode was a good season premiere. And then we got to the last ten minutes or thereabouts and POW. Nice twist. Very nice. Curious who'll be coming out of those gray stone doors come September. Also of note: a patient with evil hand issues (an Angel reference)...awesome!
American Idol: The Semi-Finals, if you will. Three men enter: the vastly superior Adam Glambert, the tween heartthrob Humble Kris and the sentimental fave Danny the glasses Gokey. Paula picks a song for Danny that he's never heard of and neither has anyone else. He sings it well though. Kris sings "Apologize" by One Republic and does it well but Kara wanted him to sing a stripped down acoustic version. Which, if that's what she wanted, she probably should have said as much to the poor boy. Adam sings "One" by U2 and Simon lets drop that he had to talk to Bono and get his permission for Adam to sing the song. Adam sings it all right but it's not my favorite performance. It would, however, rank above that "Ring of Fire" thing he did during country week. Anyway, Round Two shows Gokey singing "You Are So Beautiful" and had me singing "I am so bored...by this". Kris sang a stripped down acoustic version of a Kayne West song called "Heartbreak" or something and it was AWESOME. I think I'm actually going to go out to iTunes and download it because it was that awesome. Adam closed out the night singing "Cryin'" by Aerosmith and again, it was all right, but I think he's done better. I'm kind of hoping Gokey and Kris make the final two and Glambert's out because Glambert's already done what he's needed to do on this show. The guy's going to have a great career and I kind of think whoever has to go up against him in the finals will look all weak and pathetic in comparison. Gokey and Kris are much more evenly matched. But if Adam does, then I hope Gokey goes with him because Gokey comes the closest to matching Glambert vocally...although Kris's performance of "Heartbreak" or whatever it's called is the one song I actually want to download...Anyway, we'll see how America screws this up tomorrow.
Dancing With The Stars Results: More filler and then some filler on top of that. Shawn and Mark get the encore dance I suspect because she hasn't had one yet. Anyway, after we get through all the superfluous crap, we learn that Gilles, Melissa and Shawn will be going to the finals. And the world is once again as it should be.
Fringe: What a great season finale! Seriously, can't wait for September so I can see where this damn thing is going next. Totally called the gravestone thing and the William Bell being in another reality thing...when they started to pull back from the building though...I had a feeling what was coming and WOW. I was right. Ballsy and damn cool. What was not cool, however, was Charlie's hat. Dude...what were you thinking?
Lie To Me: I thought the episode where Cal takes on the serial freak was a better finale than tonight's episode. I mean, it was good and set up the next season and all but the Silence of the Lambs quality of the previous episode made it more intense. Plus, I spent most of that episode not exactly sure what was true and what wasn't...that doesn't happen very often.
American Idol Results: The Ford music video featured a trio of Malinois. Woo Hoo! The show was an hour and two minutes long and really only needed to be about two minutes long. Joe says he can't wait for Kara DiaGuardi to be sent home. Jordin Sparks reappeared and sang a new song "Battlefield" that was kind of cool. Oh, and Danny Gokey was sent home so it'll be Glambert and Humble Kris in the finale. Which, I think, will be interesting. I like both guys and they're at complete opposite ends of the spectrum so I'm looking forward to seeing what they'll do. Joe says he's glad Gokey's going home because Gokey has always bored him. And Joe does not like to be bored. Boring, however, he has no problem with...(C'mon...that was funny!)
Bones: Spent fifty nine minutes squinting at the television going, "What?" and then the last minute was spent gasping and yelling, "Twist!" It was a fun episode. Loved seeing literally everyone again, including Zack. Wendell's long been my fave lab assistant but I really do like the others too. Clark as the Kayne West wannabe was too funny. Sweets's band being called "Gormagon" also hi-larious. But then, it turns out, that it was all a story being written by Brennan as she sits on Booth's bedside. Booth has been in a coma for four days and, just as the episode draws to a close, he awakes...and doesn't recognize Brennan. Oh snap....September is too far away.
Grey's Anatomy: Tonight was a two hour season finale that was supposed to dangle the question of whether Izzie and George would live to see another season as these two actors have been complaining about their jobs. Sorry, I don't have a lot of patience for people who complain that $100,000 per episode isn't enough money and can't suck up the fact that they're not the star. The show's called Grey's Anatomy, people. Deal with it. Anyway, I knew right away that George was the bus accident guy and that the miracle cancer girl would suddenly suffer a medical setback. It's how these shows work and Grey's hasn't really surprised me in a while. Kind of interesting when Izzie gets in the elevator, all decked out for her prom night aka season two and finds George waiting for her when the elevator opens. Who will live? Who will die? Kind of hoping they both buy the farm because that might be interesting television.
The Office: It's the company picnic and Michael is reunited with Holly (kind of). They're a sweet couple and I hope they get together at some point. Jim is reunited with Charles who continues to pick on Jim. Note to Charles: you will not get far in this world by picking on Jim! Loved the opening bit where Michael fell asleep and everyone changed all the clocks to make him think it was 5pm. If only I could pull that off during my next shift. Oh, and Pam's pregnant. Totally saw it coming but Jim's reaction was just so damn sweet and loveable that who cares if we all saw it coming?? Yea, for Pam and Jim!!!
30 Rock: This has got to be the funniest damn show on television. Seriously, if you're not watching this show, you really should be. But just don't blink because you'll miss out on a ton of jokes. Too many highlights to count them all. Dr. Spaceman reappears and I always enjoy it when he shows up. Loved Jack greeting Elvis Costello, Mary J. Blige and Clay Aiken in his office and saying "Elvis, Mary, Mr. Aiken..." and then blackmailing all three of them into performing in his kidney aid concert (his threat for Clay Aiken, "Your cousin, Kenneth Parcell, already told me you'd do this."). Alan Alda guests as Alec Baldwin's father and uttered the line, "A man crying about a chicken and a baby? I thought this was a comedy show?" which is absolutely beyond brilliant and if you don't get it, I don't think I can explain it to you. It would take entirely too long. Well, all right, if wouldn't, so if you don't know why that's funny, email me and I'll explain it to you. Anyway, kudos!!
Supernatural: Oh hey look, a show that is decidedly not funny. The Winchesters are gearing up for the final showdown and boy are things tense. Last week ended with a Winchester vs. Winchester battle royale and Dean saying "if you walk out that door, don't you even think about coming back..." It's shades of Big Daddy Winchester and Bobby doesn't waste any time in telling Dean so. Dean calls Sam to say he's not giving up but Ruby, that frakking bitch, screws with the message so Sam hears Dean saying not nice stuff instead. Ruby also gets Sam to drain and drink the blood of a possessed person before he goes and kills Lillith. The only problem? Killing Lillith is actually how one goes about breaking the final seal which releases Lucifer from his prison. Castiel lets this slip to Dean while Dean's (who is, according to the angels, supposed to be the one who kills Lucifer) being held in the "green room"...loved it when Zacharius offered Dean Ginger from season two of Gilligan's Island...and offers to throw Mary Anne in as well...anyway, Castiel helps Dean break out of the green room and get to Sam. Sam, by this time, as already killed Lillith (by going all demon-eyed, none the less) and finds out the truth. Dean breaks into the room and together the boys kill Ruby and then prepare for Lucifer's coming. Hot damn.