Thursday, May 7, 2009

Not That I'm Obsessing Over This Or Anything...

Things That Would've Been Kinder To Do Than To Compare My Work To Jane Austen

1. Delete my Legend of the Seeker episodes from my DVR.

2. Delete my Facebook account.

3. Tell Me Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog is vastly overrated.

4. Say disparaging things against Joss Whedon.

4. Say disparaging things against Jacoby Ellsbury.

5. Make me live in a red state.

6. Make me work out.

7. Make me scrunch the denim wall.

8. Serve me a plate of over easy eggs with a side of chicken wings.

9. Give me a paper cut and pour lemon juice into it.

10. Give me a cardboard cut and pour battery acid into it.

11. Run me over with a car.

12. Throw me in the path of an on-coming bus.

13. Throw me in the path of an on-coming train.

14. Kick me off the Brooklyn Bridge.

15. Kick me off another really high bridge.

16. Lock me in a room with a wolf spider.

17. Lock me in a room with an entire family of wolf spiders.

18. An actual physical slap in the face.

19. An actual physical punch in the gut.

20. Waterboarding.

Okay, well, that last one might be an exaggeration...Good to know I'm taking this criticism so well.

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