Monday, May 4, 2009

In Which I Pull A Muscle

I pride myself on having well behaved dogs (All ass-biting aside, of course...). I pride myself on having dogs with manners. Dogs who will not dive for a piece of food that happens to be dropped on the floor (or thrown directly at them as the case may be). Dogs who do not run out of open doors without permission. Dogs who (for the most part) come when called and lay patiently and quietly in the kitchen when someone is trying to come inside. And finally, dogs who do not jump out of the car without permission.

We had a minor set back with that last one today.

I went to the Store today to (a) exchange some shirts I'd bought for my father that were too large, (b) pick up my summer uniform clothes (Bermuda shorts and tank tops...woo hoo!), and (c) pick up my paycheck, my first paycheck since like March, I think. I tend to bring Mischa into the Store with me because she needs the outlet and the socialization. Sebastian is fantastic in stores. He'll lay down and wait for you. But the second he gets into the store, the only thing he wants to do is leave. He does not want to see people and does not want people to see him. He wants to go back outside and pee on more trees. So Mischa tends to get the nod.

So we pulled into the parking lot and the whining started. Mischa tagged Sebastian. I yelled. Mischa backed off and I put Mischa's Gentle Leader on as it helps her to control her social anxiety and got ready to get out of the car. Mischa came and waited until I'd snapped the leash on her Gentle Leader and gave her permission to get out of the car.

Sebastian, aghast at being left behind, forced himself into the front seat. This is, while quite a sight to see, nothing new. Sebastian often forces himself into the front seat when left behind. He likes to lay on the horn to express his displeasure or surprise at being left behind. Some times he just lays on it and lets the horn blare. Other times he favors a steady staccato beat.

Today, however, he bypassed the horn and pushed past me to get out of the car (without a leash). I grabbed him by the collar so he could run off but I was annoyed and forgot to watch my tone of voice when I expressed said annoyance. This caused Mischa to tag Sebastian very hard in the head. My little sociopathic hall monitor. This made Sebastian cry. This made me yell. More.

Sebastian's next idea was to try and run. As in away. I was twisted and turned as I tried to hold on to both the little sociopath and the big baby. I'm pretty sure that's when I pulled the muscle in my arm but I didn't realize it at the time. I wrangled Mischa and threw her back into the car because there was no way in hell she was going to get the reward of coming with her mother. Of course, she still had the leash and Gentle Leader on, so I told (all right, maybe yelled a little...) at Sebastian to sit in the parking lot so I could get a leash to put on him but Sebastian did not want to sit. Sebastian did not want to lay down. Sebastian wanted to run, far, far away, never to be heard from again. I think he wanted to head right to his Mimi's house so my mother could pet him and tell him what a good, handsome dog he is. Mimi never yells at Sebastian. Mimi never calls Sebastian a big baby. Sebastian loves his Mimi.

I finally got Sebastian to lay down and turned to get the Gentle Leader and leash off Mischa. By the time I had accomplished this (it didn't take very long, FYI), Sebastian was up and ready to run (I think he was afraid of Mischa launching herself out the car door at him. She didn't.). I called but as I was standing next to a car containing his sociopathic sister, he didn't go for it. So I went to him.

As we made our way into the store, it was then that I realized how much my freaking left arm hurt. Our visit into the store went smoothly. We scared the crap out of the FedEx man and made the day of a little girl who absolutely loves dogs. I'm always careful to ask parents if they're (the parents) are all right with Sebastian because he is a frakking huge German Shepherd and while their kids may feel no apprehension, the parents, a lot of the time, do.

A few summers ago, we took the dogs to this party one of my sister-in-law's co-workers was throwing. Her co-workers had heard a lot about the dogs and wanted to meet them. Fortunately, the dogs needed a ride so Joe and I got to go along too. But at the party, we met a little girl, probably three years old, whose name escapes me now. She saw Sebastian and came running right to him . Sebastian, while perhaps not overly fond of children, is tolerant of kids so neither Joe nor I were concerned.

Her father, however, was slightly more so. He came running after his child yelling ,"No, Little Suzy (or whatever her name was)! No!" and practically tackled her in his attempt to save her from our overly large and obviously vicious dog.

Now, a little side note for the side note here, I am a huge advocate of parents teaching their children that not all dogs are friendly and that running headlong into one you do not know is never a good idea. I am a huge advocate of teaching kids that one should ask before petting a dog with which one is unfamiliar because you never know. My dogs are cool but not all German Shepherds and Belgian Malinois are cool. Not all Labrador Retrievers are cool. Not all Golden Retrievers are cool. Don't make assumptions based on the breed and/or size. So please, ask before you pet. You just may save a finger or five.

Anyway, back to the story. Daddy saved Little Suzy from Big and we started talking. We assured Daddy that Big was perfectly fine with kids and it would be all right if he wanted to allow Little Suzy to pet Big. He did. And it was fine. Joe gave Little Suzy some cookies to feed Big. Daddy was a little apprehensive about this but again, it was fine. We parted on excellent terms.

Later that night, Little Suzy came barreling at Big again, only this time, she was being followed by her mother, who had not met Big. Joe and I greeted Little Suzy just as Daddy reappeared and said to his wife, "Oh yeah, that's Big. He's cool."

Yes, he is. As long as you are not a dog's ass anyway.

So yeah. Sebastian greeted the kid and scared off a potential customer who was about to walk in but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Sebastian sitting by the counter. Sebastian looked over his shoulder at her and that was enough for her because she told her companion that she'd wait for him outside. And then went to sit on a bench.

We finished our shopping and took our bag out to the car. I tied Mischa down so Sebastian would get in the car and we went on our merry way. Mischa did not tag Sebastian again. But my arm still hurts.

No comments:

Post a Comment