Tuesday, February 10, 2009

To The Staff of Classic Trains Magazine...

Dear Classic Trains Magazine,

Please, please, please stop sending me renewal notices telling me that my subscription is in danger of running out. I do not care if my subscription is running out. Mostly because I do not have a subscription to your magazine. This, I realize, has not seemed to discourage you from sending me your magazine on a regular basis.

I thought this would have been taken care of last November when I first received a subscription renewal notice. The November issue would be my last, you threatened, if I did not send in payment. I did not send in payment and yet, and yet, another magazine appeared in my mail the following month. And the month after that. And the one after that.

I do not want your magazine. No offense. I think trains are swell. I think trains are great. When I'm stuck waiting for the Conway Scenic Railroad trains to pass, I wait patiently. I even wave to the people waving at me. I rode a train to New York City once. It was fun.

But I do not want your magazine. Nor do I want the special commemorative coin commemorating your magazine. Nor do I want the Classic Trains DVD series. Nor do I want the special commemorative coin commemorating the Classic Trains DVD series. I also do not want the Classic Model Trains magazine nor the Classic Trains catalog. If there is a special commemorative coin commemorating either the model trains or the catalog, I don't want that either.

So, please, let's stop the insanity. You're getting to be as bad as Guidepost magazine who awarded me a one year subscription back in 1994 that didn't run out for about ten years. Let me be very clear on this: I do not want your magazine for the next ten years. I do not even want the magazine for the next ten months, weeks, or days. One issue was a fluke, the second was funny, now you're just stalking me. Please stop.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

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