Saturday, January 31, 2009

Television Week In Review (week Ending 1/31/09)


The SAG Awards: I correctly called the winners in every race except for Best Actor. I thought Mickey Rourke would take it but they gave it to Sean Penn instead. The SAG people are always the trickiest to predict. They gave Johnny Depp an award for his role as Captain Jack Sparrow, after all. I'm not saying he didn't deserve the award because I totally think he did, I'm just saying, it's not exactly conventional. Heath Ledger received another award for playing The Joker in The Dark Knight. Smart money says he'll receive an oscar for it too next month.

Legend of the Seeker: My favorite new syndicated series, based on the Sword of Truth fantasy series by Terry Goodkind. It's funny because there are a lot of online groups who are protesting the show because they think it is completely ruining the Sword of Truth series. I say to them: If you don't like the show, then don't watch the show. I've read the beginning of the series (the first three books thus far) and it's a pretty good series and the show is just fun. The writing is decent, especially for a syndicated series, and the acting is often laughable (especially the guy playing the main character, Richard) but the swordfighting (and you know I'm a sucker for a good swordfight.) is really quite good. Anyway, this episode seems to involve magical talking sock puppets. Classic.


House: When did this become the Thirteen show? I watch this show for Hugh Laurie anyway. Congrats on your SAG award, Hugh!

The Closer: I was expecting this episode to pick up where the last one left off, with Brenda holding a bleeding Sanchez in a helicopter on their way to the hospital. Should've known better. It picked up well after that and Sanchez's recovery. Physically he's fine, mentally, maybe not so much. He won't talk to the therapist so who knows. Brenda should understand that because she didn't want to talk to the therapist either a season or two ago. Anyway, she and Fritz are still planning on getting married and Sargent Gabriel was nowhere to be found. An average episode, I thought, and a little disappointing for a season opener. They need to take lessons from the folks at Battlestar Galactica. Now those writers know how to open a season.


American Idol: Joe thought the college physics guy was awesome.

Fringe: Why am I now suddenly afraid of my computer? Kudos on being absolutely disgusting, by the way. I'd also like to give a shout out to Mary Beth Peil, who played the mother of the girl who died in the fire in Walter's lab however many years ago it was. She gets a shout out because she played Jen Lindley's grandmother on Joshua Jackson's old series, Dawson's Creek.


Lie To Me: I don't know how I feel about this show. I don't like Kelli Williams's character, whatever her name is, but I do like Tim Roth's character. I'll probably stick with it for now and see how it develops.


Supernatural: It was kind of a disappointing episode, really. The best part of it was Dean in his gym teacher shorts and then his line, "Dude, three of the cheerleaders are legal. Guess which ones." But yeah, I was disappointed. Teenaged Dean, to me, seemed to be taller than Present Day teen and much less Dean like than little Dean from other flashbacks. Little Sam was fine, whatever, and I laughed when the teacher asked him about the werewolf killing story. But I thought it was too filled with high school cliches. This is a show that doesn't really do cliches, or if it does, is mocking them at the same time. Not so here. Anyway, the preview for next week looked interesting. Loved Dean's gleeful "Strippers, Sammy!"


Monk: I guess I'm well over this series because I just kind of feel ho hum about the whole thing. Yes, there were parts that made me laugh but, I guess, not enough of them.

Psych: This freaking show cracks me up every single damn week thus far. Loved, loved, LOVED, the Ralph Macchio reference (seeing him at the taco place) and Gus's "For the record, he was not working there." Loved the whole damn thing. The Mentalist reference was a nice touch too.

Battlestar Galactica: So, if you haven't seen this week's episode, you might not want to read this blurb. I haven't written about any television for a while, so I haven't written about the first two epsiodes in this second half of the final season. Here's what I thought about that: Premiere: Frakking awesome. Dee shocked the hell out of me, Starbuck intrigued the hell out of me (MUST know what's going on with her. Like now.) and the revelation of the final cylon was kind Whatever. The second episode was decidedly less action packed but something's a-brewing big time. Loved Adama's playing Tom Zarek though. That was brilliant. Anyway, this week's outing was a litle more action packed, that, of course, being a MAJOR understatement. I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing about two minutes into the episode and I'm pretty sure I won't take another breath until the end of next week's episode. And even then I can't be sure because the preview for next week is rather...intense? Wow. I knew the second episode was setting up for something cool, but this was fantastic. Kudos to you, BSG crew. I honestly don't know what I'll do without you.

January '09 Book Report

Here are a list of the books I read this past month, and my impressions of them:

Long Live The Queen- Ellen Emerson White- This is the new, updated version of the book which was released last summer. I know it’s the third in the series, but the other two are coming in the mail and haven’t arrived yet. They’ll be coming soon. Anyway, it was a little weird to read the changes, knowing the original story so well, but I liked it a lot. I especially liked the part where Meg puts on her Sunnydale High tee shirt and watched a bunch of Buffy The Vampire Slayer episodes.

White House Autumn- Ellen Emerson White- This is the new, updated version of the book which was released last summer. It’s the second in the series. The first one still has yet to arrive. Stupid Borders website. It’s still a little weird to read the changes because I do know the story so well, but it’s still a great read.

The President's Daughter- Ellen Emerson White- This is the new, updated version of the book which was released last summer. It’s the first in the series. And yes, it's still a great read.

Long May She Reign- Ellen Emerson White- This is the newest addition to the President’s Daughter series, released last year. It’s only the second time I’ve read this book. As much as I enjoyed it, I have to say I miss Josh (even though I totally understand their break up) and I don’t like Jack. I mean, I really don't like Jack.

The Tales of Beedle The Bard- J. K. Rowling- A supplement to the Harry Potter series. It’s nice. I found some of the footnotes kind of curious though. For example, Rowling found it necessary to remind readers what a ‘squib’ is, like people reading this book aren’t the same people who are absolutely and totally obsessed with the HP series, or something. So, if you’re a person who picked up this book without knowing anything about the HP series, tell me. Because inquiring minds want to know.

Plum Spooky- Janet Evanovich- Her latest Stephanie Plum novel and one of those annoying Between the Numbers offerings. This was the first BTN book that was a full length novel and not more of a novella. I found the novellas to be tedious, so you can imagine how enamored I was with this book. Too many hot men in Stephanie’s life who need a good solid kick in the balls, which apparently, is something Stephanie’s good at so why she doesn’t do it to them, I do not know. These books used to make me laugh and then laugh harder. Now they’re just annoying.

Tithe- Holly Black- I bought this book off a whim one day because I thought the cover was beautiful and the story didn’t sound half bad. It’s a modern day faerie tale. So I also bought a copy of the set (there are currently three by this author) to give to my niece for Christmas because she likes to read and I thought she’d really like these books. Well, I’m hoping she really likes the books because I really do. It’s compulsively readable but so much better written than Stephenie Meyer's books that I never found myself rolling my eyes at any of it. Also had the added bonus of making me realize just how different my childhood upbringing was, compared to Joe’s side of the family, because just reading the first chapter made me wonder if Beth (sister in law) was going to be upset with me for buying these books for Rhaine because the kids swear, drink and smoke…all in the first couple of freaking chapters. Never would’ve read this when I was thirteen. Of course, I also don’t think this book would’ve existed when I was thirteen. Anyway, really, really good.

Valiant- Holly Black- The second in her modern faerie tale series. I didn’t like it as much as the first book but it was still a good read. The main characters from the first book were only seen briefly at the end. I missed them.

Ironside- Holly Black- The third in her modern faerie tale series. I liked this one better than the second one, I think mostly because it contained the characters I had grown attached to in the first book. I wanted to know what would happen to Kaye and Roiben and Corny and this book furthered their story. It brought in characters from the second book, which I liked, because I didn’t have anything against those characters, it’s just that I was more interested in the others. Anyway, I don’t know if there are more books to follow in this series but I hope there are because they’re good.

A Walk Through The Woods-Bill Bryson- Woo Hoo! I read a non fiction book! Memoirs count, you know, as non fiction, unless, of course, they're written by James Frey. Anyway, this book follows Bryson's attempt to hike the Appalachian Trail. It's a nice mixture of humor and history and I found it to be rather interesting. I've often thought I'd like to hike the AT. This book made me really feel that way. Then, like I've said before, I remember how much I really, really like flush toilets and showers and not sleeping on the ground. The part where Bryson thinks a bear (or two) is in camp made me laugh so hard, I cried.

Friday, January 30, 2009


These are the lyrics I've been talking about. Not stupid lyrics (well, at least I hope not...) but meaningful lyrics that tell a story. The inspiration came from a scene late in my novel, Effigy. If you've read the story, you'll probably be able to figure out the who, what, where, and why's of it. If you haven't, well, I don't want to spoil anything for you, in case you do one day decide to read it.

Fight or Flight

Two hawks there were in the sky today
Golden brown omens above a city bathed in gray
In those birds I saw you and me as we once were
And something within me started to stir

My heart took notice, seeing them there
Dancing their dance on currents of air
Soaring high, careless and carefree
They were what I wanted us to once again be

(CHORUS) The question I face is fight or flight
Not leaving you is wrong but fleeing isn't right
If staying for you will my death be
Can I find the strength to give you what's left of me?

Lost for good is the serenity I crave
Too many doubts now for it all to be saved
For love and hate are two sides of a coin paper thin
And a lover's betrayal condemns one more than any sin

I gave you my heart but you took my soul
I let it go because I thought I always held yours
But a love once unmoveable shifts where I stand
A heart and a soul now slip through my fingers like sand

(CHORUS) The question I face is fight or flight
Not leaving you is wrong but fleeing isn't right
If staying for you will my death be
Can I find the strength to give you what's left of me?

I cried out as the hawks from me drew away
I longed to follow but on the ground my feet did stay
I wanted to join them in the cloudless blue
But knew my heart would fight always for you

A reach of your hand and I'll surely be lost
I've never denied you whatever the cost
Rivers of salt for you I have shed
And yet, I know I won't leave you, even when dead

(CHORUS) The question I face is fight or flight
Not leaving you is wrong but fleeing isn't right
If staying for you will my death be
Can I find the strength to give you what's left of me?

That's the nature of a love gone wrong as our love has
When one heart feels more than the other can grasp
You murder my thinking and leave me to bleed
And still I wait to see where you may me lead

So come for me now and what's left to you I'll give
Say how you need me so that you might live
My heart is a harp only you can play
So pluck now my strings and carry me away.

©Melissa Jordan, 2009

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Snow Day

1:09am: I make it to bed. I'm tired as hell and just want to sleep but apparently, my brain didn't get that message because it just won't stop.

2:15am: Still awake. I consider just getting up and going to do something but it's at least warm under the covers so I stay put.

3:00am: Oh, for crying out loud.

6:50am: Joe wakes me up to tell me he's leaving. And he's taking my car. Since we're getting a foot or more of snow and his car sucks in the snow, I give him my blessing. He put his car in the garage so that when the snow plow does come, his car is not completely buried like it was during that last storm.

6:50:01am: Mischa starts pacing.

6:55am: Mischa's still pacing. Since 7am is a late start for her, I guess I should just suck it up and get out of bed. But damn, I'm tired.

7:00am: I finally push the covers off and roll out of bed. Mischa rewards me by promptly puking in her crate. I always say my day isn't complete until I've picked up animal vomit. Good to know I've completed my day so early.

7:15am: Animals fed and watered, I try to go back to sleep for a couple of hours. I am marginally successful because at

9:00am: The alarm goes off, interrupting a very interesting dream, the details of which I decline to write here in My Pet Blog. And no, Jacoby Ellsbury wasn't in it. Sadly.

9:15am: I get out of bed for the second time and get dressed. It's snowing now so it's definitely a flannel lined jeans sort of day.

9:20am: I take the dogs outside. At the same time.

9:23am: While I wait for Sebastian to finish peeing (interesting note: Sebastian is never finished peeing.), I watch Marie's construction crew. Her garage is now a three story non-residental (because a garage with a residental garage on top is against our association rules) circus. There's this little odd thing sitting outside that the boys were building yesterday. Joe thinks it has something to do with a chimney (not that you need a chimney for a non residental garage, of course.) but I think it's a ticket booth so she can charge admission to the show. The boys are working inside today. I know they're working inside because I can see them through the ginormous windows Marie has put on the front of her non residental garage. This thrills me because Marie's been noted for seeding her lawn in her underwear (don't think I'm ever getting rid of that image.). Can't imagine what she'll do inside her own (non residental) garage. But it won't be long before I can. Hmmm...maybe I should buy her some curtains, really really thick curtains, as a non house warming present.

9:45am: I take the dogs back inside. As I have not broken my face, I decide to celebrate with a batch of chocolate chip muffins.

9:56am: The muffins go in the oven to bake and I go to my office to turn on the computer. Today's the day I'm going to write that synopsis. Or die trying.

9:58am: I immediately log on to Facebook. Yes, there's a chance I might be slightly addicted to this site. I search the site for a twelve step program to help me deal with my addiction and find there's about five hundred of them. Now that's what you call ironic.

10:00am: Ellen Emerson White has not yet responded to my latest post. Not that I'm at all obsessed by this.

10:12am: The dogs run, barking madly, out of the office and to the front door. Since I can see the front door from my office and know that no one is anywhere near the door, I let them go.

10:15am: It occurs to me the true reason why the dogs were barking. The oven timer. I run out to ascertain the status of my chocolate chip muffins.

10:16am: Hmmm...cajun chocolate chip muffins anyone?

10:17am: I return to the computer. I turn the sounds off on the phone so it won't be a distraction. I leave the television off and click on my folder of celtic instrumental music. That's right. I'm serious. I open Word and open my synopsis.

10:18am: I open a game of Minesweeper. Dammit.

10:20am: I do not defeat my own best expert level time (115 Seconds) so I close Minesweeper and return to Word, opening the lyrics I wrote for Mike and the Second Nature scene I've been working on. The lyrics I finished yesterday and sent off to Mike last night, but it's still habit to obsess over them. As for the Second Nature scene, I think I fixed the plot problem I was having last night. Earlier this morning? Well, whenever I was having it, I think I've solved it now.

10:30am: I decide the lyrics are still good and turn to the scene.

11:05am: I stop writing when Mischa freaks out at the nothing outside, startling me half to death in the process. If she's barking at the snow, it's going to be a very long day.

11:08am: Mischa goes back to sleep and I go back to work.

11:16am: I stop again. This time, however, it is because I am stuck. Must be time to switch back to the synopsis. Only that insinuates I've actually done something more with the synopsis than just open the document.

11:19am: I read the last paragraph of the synopsis and then go check my email. Dammit.

11:26am: I finish answering my emails. All two of them. Back to work.

11:28am: I return to email to write a couple of new emails. Am I a master procrastinator or what?

11:42am: All right. I'm going back to work. For real this time. I will resist the urge to log back into Facebook, just to check if Ellen Emerson White has responded to my latest post. I'm not a cyber stalker, I swear.

12:00pm: I hit two pages. Barely, but still, it's two pages. I celebrate by logging back into Facebook, just to check if Ellen Emerson White has responded to my latest post. I'm not a cyber stalker, I swear.

12:02pm: No, no response yet. It's like she has a life outside of Facebook or something. Inconceivable!

12:03pm: I look at the synopsis and wonder how anyone manages to condense an eight hundred paged book into a 3-10 paged summary. It's madness, I tell you, madness. I mean, come on, I can't cut stuff out. It's all important to me. If I could've told the damn story in 3-10 pages, don't you think I already would've done that? Of course, it should be noted that in the page (barely two) that I have written, I have covered seventy two pages.

12:23pm: I have almost a page and a half now and have just noticed that the header at the top of the second page still says page one. What the frak? How the frak do I fix that? I'll call Heather later and ask her. She's taking a business class that seems to revolve around the editing of various office documents. Maybe she knows. I took a class like that once. The first session was devoted to "How To Use The Mouse" which was my first indication that maybe it was not the class for me. My second indication was, during the "How To Use The Mouse" lab session (which involved playing solitare, by the way), when I was caught by my professor to not be playing solitare but rather chatting with Joe online and all the professor had to say was, "How are you doing that?" But anyway, I digress (I know, what a novel experience for this blog!). It's lunch time which means it's time for another break.

1:47pm: Break time's over. Although I should really go outside and do some shoveling, I open Word again.

1:48pm: I log onto Facebook, just to check if Ellen Emerson White has responded to my latest post. It is quite possible that I am a cyber stalker. But I'm harmless, I swear!

2:27pm: I write a few pages, not in my synopsis (of course not.) but in Second Nature. I celebrate by checking my email. Mike and I are discussing the possibility of me building a garage that's even more ostentatious than Marie's garage. We do agree that my new garage should block out Marie's sun. No other emails to report except that my amazon order has shipped. Woo Hoo. I don't suppose that'll be arriving today, will it? Not that I have a car with which to go fetch it from the post office. Dammit. Never mind.

3:00pm: I am so mother-loving tired I don't think I can do anymore today. Plus, I still have to go out and shovel. Frakking snow. You know, it was like 140 degrees on the court during the Australian Open yesterday. According to the Weather Channel, it's seventeen degrees here. I wonder what our wireless weather station says it is. Joe hung the sensor outside the door...right over the dryer vent, so it's not the most accurate of thermometers.

3:01pm: All right. I'm going to shovel before I fall asleep. Better to do that before I fall asleep rather than during.

3:15: I give Mischa, and Mischa only, permission to go outside but Sebastian decides to push his way through anyway. No leash. No collar. Mom is not amused. Fortunately, his need to pee slows him down enough so I can catch him. Unfortunately, after I catch him, I have to talk to him in a nice, happy tone as to promote his coming back the next time. I use some not nice words, but I say them sweetly.

3:30pm: I finish the shoveling (FYI: shoveling with bruised ribs is somewhat uncomfortable.) and go back inside to fetch Sebastian for his authorized romp in the snow.

3:31pm: Mischa manages to lose her rope bone in the snow. Everything comes to a grinding halt.

3:40: I find the rope bone and we go back inside before any other mishaps can occur.

3:45pm: I settle on the couch to read. Or watch a movie. Or, quite possibly, nap.

3:46pm: Movie wins out. I watch The Duchess starring Ralph Fiennes and Kiera Knightly. I could link to their names but I'm feeling quite lazy at the moment.

5:00pm: Joe comes home, looks at the television and says, "You're watching that queer movie again?" He's mistaken The Duchess for Pride and Prejudice. Since they're both period films starring Kiera Knightly, I forgive the transgression.

5:30pm: Ruthie calls to tell me that Old Julie has decided to use our on-call hours for our shift tomorrow so instead of getting out at 2pm, we won't get out until 4pm. Plus, we have to work with Julie Do-Little all day long. She thought I should hear it from her tonight, instead of hearing it from Julie Do-Little in the morning. The news does not make me happy but she's right. It is better that I heard it from her.

5:53pm: Mischa pukes again. But of course she does.

6:45pm: The plow guy arrives. Sebastian barks. A lot. Mischa barks too.

8:00pm: We watch American Idol. While I watch, I read A Walk Through The Woods by Bill Bryson. There are times while reading when I think that I would like to go hike the AT. Then I remember how much I like flush toilets and sleeping indoors.

9:00pm: Time for bed I said. As soon as I take the dogs outside. Again.

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Terrible Horrible No Good Bad Weekend

Well, actually, it wasn't a terrible, horrible, no good, bad weekend. It was a pretty good weekend, all things considered. Could've been much worse. But it wasn't, and for that, I am truly grateful.

It all started on Friday. I had to work a crappy four hour shift. It was an inventory prep shift which meant we had to go around and check for tickets and make the stockroom idiot proof because, in one short week, the RGIS inventory specialists are coming. If you recall my inventory blog from last year, you'll recall that the RGIS inventory specialists are, well, they're idiots, thus the idiot proofing of the stockroom. The only thing the RGIS inventory specialists can count accurately are the minutes from one cigarette break to the next.

This year I imagine we'll be hearing a lot of moaning and groaning from the RGIS inventory specialists not just because they really really need a cigarette but also because the infinitely stupid people at corporate decided to have inventory on Sunday night. On February the First. Superbowl Freaking Sunday. Because apparently, the corporate office hates America. Well, at the very least, they hate the outlet division. But I have really made my peace with all that, even though it may not seem like it, because I don't much care who wins the Superbowl this year. I, personally, at the risk of insulting a lot of Arizona fans, think it's a waste of a Superbowl. It sucks that a team with a crappy regular season record is in the Superbowl while my beloved Pats are not in the Superbowl. And let's not even talk about the Steelers. When Wes Welker gets penalized for making a snow angel the same amount of yardage that the Steelers get penalized for nearly putting that same guy in the frakking hospital....Yeah. See what I mean? Let's just not go there.

But this is digressing. Ruthie and I did our best to make the stockroom idiot proof although the weekend crew has surely undid everything we've done by now. Our delivery guy came and dropped off more product because that's just what we wanted. More product for the RGIS inventory specialists to count. Especially when that product is bermuda shorts and flip flops because that's what everyone wants to buy when it's five below outside.

What our delivery guy did not bring, however, were paychecks. Which kind of sucked because it was a paycheck day. The other truck had them and was going to drop them off.We used to have UPS deliveries but again, the America hating corporate office decided to switch to FedEx. When UPS brought our boxes, they were at the backdoor, paychecks in hand before noon. Without fail. This is nice when your shifts ends at 1pm and you want to go to the bank to deposit your check (Sorry, but not everyone has or wants direct deposit. I'm one of them.) before they close. But now that FedEx is running the show, they can show up apparently any time they damn well feel like it. So Ruthie and I left sans paycheck.

I went home and puttered around a bit and took the dogs outside to play for a little while. Mischa can be outside without a leash. As long as she has something in her mouth (in this story, it's a rope bone.), she just lopes around the yard in big circles but never strays too far. Sebastian, not so much. It's weird because he's so hyper focused on his mom that you'd think, especially if you've seen and/or heard him cry when I leave the room, he'd attach himself to my hip, but no. When he gets outside, his primal urge to pee on everything in sight takes over and he forgets to come back. So Sebastian goes outside on leash. But I use a long leash so he can at least feel free.So we three went outside. Mischa ran, Sebastian peed and I wandered behind. Every now and then, Mischa would bring her rope bone for me to throw. I'd throw the rope bone and she would run madly after it. Sebastian would sort of trot along behind her, never too close to avoid being tagged in the face, and I would trot along behind him. It's a great system and everyone's tired at the end of it.

Then, while Sebastian and I were standing in the center of the driveway, Mischa brought me her rope bone. I took it from her and made sure everyone's feet were clear of the long leash and I threw it. Mischa ran down the driveway after the bone. Sebastian also took off, no more trotting, but more a sudden burst of speed you didn't know the damn dog had, and in the opposite direction of the rope bone, meaning the opposite direction in which I had expected him to take.

Well, long story short, I was jerked around and right off my feet. I had a moment when everything slowed down and I was in the air, looking down at the driveway and thinking, "Shit. This is gonna hurt." And then I did a face plant. And, yeah, it hurt.

I thought I'd broken my nose, to be honest. I laid face down in the driveway thinking, "Frak. I broke my frakking nose. I cannot believe I broke my frakking nose!" It hurt. A lot. And my eyes wouldn't stop watering and my head was swimming and then I realized how much my hand hurt and then Mischa brought her rope bone back and shoved it in my face so I could throw it for her again. I declined.

Instead, I pushed myself up and called the dogs to the house and staggered back inside.I took off collars and stumbled into the bathroom to ascertain the status of my face. There was no blood but was red and swollen and it still really hurt. As did the rest of my head. The thumb on my right hand was refusing to bend. I sat down so I could strip off my cold weather gear and then went to the freezer to get a bag of frozen peas. I got a dish towel and went out to the living room to lay on the couch. With a bag of frozen peas on my face. I laid on the couch, fended off the dogs and put the peas on my nose. It hurt. The bag weighed too much to just sit on my face so I had to hold it with my left hand to allievate as much pressure and weight as possible.

Joe came home after a while and I was still on the couch, still holding a bag of peas and still trying to find a somewhat comfortable position. Joe wandered into the living room, took one look at me and said," What happened to you?"

"I took the dogs outside and-" I started to say.

"Hey," he interrupted. "Is Battlestar Galactica on yet?"

I took the peas off my face and sat up. I was not amused by this. I was not amused that he would ask me what happened and then interrupt me to ask me a question he already knew the answer to because more than once in the last week we had discussed Battlestar Galactica and the exact day and time it would be on. In fact, the last time we had had that conversation had only been two hours prior to his arrival home. So I got pissed. I was pissed because my head hurt, my nose hurt, my hand hurt, and he didn't even frakking care. Now, Joe's kind of an asshole and he;s kind of a jerk about a lot of things and normally it makes me laugh and call him an asshole and move on with life. But not then. Apparently, I'd left my sense of humor in the center of the driveway. So I called him a string of not nice names, told him I hated him and then laid back down with a bag of peas carefully balanced on my nose.

"Your nose is fine," he scoffed. "Get over it."

I then thought about repeatedly kicking him in the balls and telling him to get over that but as it required me to once again get off the couch, I decided against it.

So time passed. Joe, seeming to understand that he was in trouble, tried to ask me what happened. I flipped him off and declined to answer. Later, when the peas had defrosted, I got off the couch and made myself some dinner, thinking how nice it would have been had Joe maybe volunteered to make something for me, or at least asked if there was something he could do. I took a couple of Aleve pills and then sat in the living room, holding my head together, and tried to watch television. I need glasses when I watch television but, like the peas, they hurt too much to wear and so I was stuck watching a blurry episode of Monk. I didn't even attempt to watch Psych or Battlestar Galactica, but left them for the DVR to record. I took the dogs outside because Joe wouldn't and we all went to bed. One big happy family.

Saturday, Joe took the dogs' morning shift, so I slept late. My head still hurt. My nose still hurt. My hand hurt less. I got out of bed and discovered that I had apparently bruised some ribs in my ever so graceful face plant because MAN, did they hurt. I went downstairs, had more Aleve and watched some television. Still couldn't wear my glasses but found out that laughing with bruised ribs really kind of hurts. So I went down to the computer in th emy office. I guilted Joe into helping me fix the broken pages on my website. Took a shower and went to the grocery store to find something to make for dinner. Found out I probably should not have been driving because I was a little dizzy as I walked around the store. I came home and sat on the couch some more and read a book about faeries. At dinner, Joe and Heather and I comtemplated how much Aleve a person could take. Heather figured I should go for it because the worse that could happen was that I'd just pass out and then Joe could take me to the emergency room. I compromised and only took one more even though the bottle said not to exceed three pills in twenty four hours and I was working on three pills in eight hours. Did I mention how much my nose hurt? Went to bed and had weird dreams about faeries.

Sunday came around and again Joe took the morning shift so I tried to sleep but my ribs hurt and I couldn't get comfortable. So I got up. Took more Aleve and went to the office to work on my website some more. I also wrote a scene for Second Nature, the sequel to Effigy. I worked on Effigy's synopsis (two paragraphs and two sentences! Only two and a half to nine and a half pages to go!) and wrote some song lyrics. My friend Mike write music in his spare time and asked me to try and write lyrics in my spare time.

It's interesting, writing lyrics. Haven't really done much of that before. It's like writing poetry. Haven't really done much of that before either. I tend to write poetry when uber depressed and, unfortunately, I guess, I haven't been that depressed in a while. So I wrote some lyrics. They're based on Effigy so maybe that helped. Joe read them and said it reads like a poem and we talked about how my lyrics have rhyme and rhythm and meaing and whatever and a lot of songs just have really stupid lyrics. So now I'm worried about the lyrics being totally wrong, but I guess that'll be for Mike to decide when he reads them. I have to write one more verse and the chorus and I think they'll be finished but I'm having a very hard time writing the chorus.

So, to try and promote thought, I walked around the house singing the song in different fashions. Celtic folk song, broadway (in the shower...I always sing broadway in the shower.), a funeral dirge, etc. Joe tried to help by suggesting different artists, actual rock artists and the like, for me to try. It was kind of funny because I was so very bad at it.

I finished reading the faerie book and started reading A Walk In The Woods by Bill Bryson. It's a hysterically funny book about a man who hikes the Appalachian (hehe...I typed "application" first.) Trail. This, I believe, annoyed Joe because I would laugh out loud and then follow each burst with, "Ow!" while clutching my side. I decided to stop after four chapters. Better to rest and then start again in the morning.

So that pretty much wraps up the weekend. The computer says it's just about midnight so I think I'm good to take some more Aleve and crawl into bed and dream about faeries (or Jacoby Ellsbury...I had an awesome Jacoby Ellsbury dream last week.) and lyrics and whatnot. Here's hoping I can wear my glasses again tomorrow. Hope y'all had a good weekend too! G'nite!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

So I was tagged on Facebook the other day, something similar to when I was blog tagged last month, only this time you have to write twenty one random things, facts, goals, whatever, about yourself. I don't have to post them here but I'm going to do it anyway. So there. And since I used the seven facts I previously posted for the last game of tag, I am going to add seven new ones here for your reading pleasure.

These rules were passed on to me:Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 21 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 21 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

1. I read an average of sixty books a year. I thought that was a decent amount until I read Sarah Randall's random things note on Facebook, which states that she used to read 100 books a year. Now I feel like a slacker.

2. I read Ellen Emerson White's President's Daughter series at least once a year. And laugh at all the same parts every time.

3. Speaking of Ellen Emerson White, I am involved in a multi day multi topic (Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Battlestar Galactica!!) online discussion with her. I think I have now achieved a life goal I didn't know I had.

4. I have stood in both Europe and Asia at the same time. In two different locations.

5. I would like to some day have an Irish Wolfhound named Seamus. Some day would be right now if only I could convince my significant other that having two dogs who outweigh me would be fun.

6. My dogs each have three names. My German Shepherd Dog is officially named Quinlan Sebastian Jack but we mostly call him Big because well, because he's frakking huge. My Malinois is officially named Mischa Mai Cadeau but we mostly call her a frakking spaz because, well, because she's a frakking spaz. But we love her anyway.

7. I am obsessed with the Game Show Network. I wish I could say I was obsessed with something less frivolous (hard to imagine something more frivolous than the GSN...) like C-SPAN but I can't.

8. I really, really want a double bladed battle axe. That is all.

9. I went all the way to the top of Blarney Castle and didn't kiss the Blarney Stone. Heard too many tales about what the locals do to the stone to risk it. I took pictures though.

10. Once, when I was a retail manager and not just a lowly jeans girl, I was told by a customer that I couldn't possibly be a manager because I was a woman. I managed not to kick his teeth in, but just barely. FYI: This customer is NOT the reason why I am now just a lowly jeans girl and not a manager.

11. I still love Chuck E. Cheese's.

12. I can't stand the Fox News Network. I can't even believe I posted a link to their site.

13. I prefer to get my news from The Daily Show. They're equal opportunity mockers.

14. I think Daniel Craig is the best James Bond since Sean Connery. Maybe even better than Sean Connery but it's hard to say because their Bonds are the products of their times (I could explain that more, but that would be a different blog entry all together.). But I have a wicked crush on Daniel Craig so I think that gives him the edge.

15. Some day I hope to bobsled. Not competitively or anything. Just like, once, you know, for fun.

16. I've always wanted to be an international superspy. My idols are Emma Peel, Sydney Bristow and River Tam. It should probably be noted that River technically isn't a international superspy, but as the military made her into some kind of unkillable super soldier, she could be.

17. The best job I ever had was teaching English at an alternative school for at-risk adolescents. I'm glad to have been given the opportunity to know those kids, to teach those kids (even the one who tried to steal my car...), and to work alongside a great group of people.

18. My favorite food is macaroni and cheese.

19. I still can remember the Shel Silverstein poem I had to memorize for school in the second grade. It was the one about the polar bear in the refrigerator.

20. I love British television. Quite a lot, actually.

21. I am in the process of writing my acceptance speech for when I win an Academy Award. Not exactly sure what I'll win one for (I'm hoping for "Best Actress" although I don't act...), but I'll be prepared for when I do.

So those are my twenty one things and the only person I tagged was the one who had tagged me. I'm not tagging any of you reading this right now but if you want to go ahead and write twenty one random things about yourself, then have at it...I'll look forward to reading it.