Wednesday, April 5, 2017

I Have A Lot Of Feelings (An IWSG Post)

Hello, everyone.

It's the first Wednesday of the month (at least I think it is. I haven't really slept in a while, so I suppose it might not be.), which means it's time for another installment of the Insecure Writer's Support Group (unless it isn't actually the first Wednesday of the month after all, in which case, let's just pretend it is, okay?) (seriously...do you know how many times it took me to type that close parenthesis correctly...or how many tries it took me to spell 'parenthesis' correctly? I don't even know if I did spell it correctly either time. Feel free to let me know in the comments.)

For more information, or a complete list of participants, please click on the above link.

This month's fantastic co-hosts are: Christopher D. Votey, Madeline Mora-Summonte, Fundy Blue, and Chrys Fey.

This month's (optional) question asks, "Have you taken advantage of the annual A to Z Challenge in terms of marketing, networking, publicity for your book? What were the results?"

I haven't done that. Not really. Well, maybe. I don't know. (Seriously, I am so tired right now.) Last year, my theme was the music I listen to when I'm writing. Like, songs that remind me of specific scenes or characters. Which I suppose could seem like it was marketing or publicity. Just not particularly good marketing or publicity.

Because I am an utter failure when it comes to marketing and publicity.

That said (again. It's not like it's a secret or anything.), this Saturday, I shall be participating in an author forum where I will be expected to stand up in front of people (gasp!), and speak (double gasp!) intelligibly (triple gasp!) on some subject for, like, fifteen minutes. (now I'm hyperventilating.)

It's true. Here's the flyer:


There are actually two flyers, but I chose the one
that doesn't actually have my face on it.

I think I've made my feelings on public speaking (or simply interacting with the human race) pretty well-known over the years, but in the event that you're new here, they can be summed up with one simple gif:

I have no idea what this is from, but it terrifies me
almost as much as public speaking does.


Regardless of the terror, when I am asked to participate in one of these forums, I say yes. Because it's good to get out of our comfort zones once in a while, right? It's good to challenge ourselves, and it's probably good that I at least make an attempt at promotion.

But I hate doing them. I hate promotion. I don't know how to do it without feeling all boastful and braggy. I feel horrible going into them, and I feel horrible coming out. And I carry around this horrible weight for a good week following each event.

This will be my third since moving to the first circle of hell Florida. My talks must be going reasonably all right, given that they keep asking me to come back, but it doesn't make me any less terrified. (I know I keep using that word. It fits and I'm too tired to think of another. And you have no idea how many tries it took me to spell 'another' correctly. I really need to go to bed.)

I suppose they could be asking me to come back each time because they've placed bets on when, exactly, I'll pass out, run away, or just projectile vomit all over the audience (first three rows may get wet...) and they all want to be there to record it for YouTube.

But let's hope it's the other thing.



Sorry...that Stephen Colbert gif has made me laugh and lose my train of thought, so I have no idea what I had originally intended to type in this space. Probably something about feelings, as the title of the post is "I have a lot of feelings", and the only feelings mentioned thus far have been terrified and tired. (Is tired a feeling? My goodness, I need to sleep.)

Oh! I remember! I was going to say something about how the terrible, horrible feelings there make me feel (see...feelings) like I can't do this writing thing. Well, maybe not the writing thing. I can write (kind of anyway...just don't use this blog post as an example). The author thing—that's what I meant. I don't always feel like I can do the author thing.

And I have no idea what to do about that except to finish writing my talk on inspiration (yeah, I'm talking about inspiration, which I feel kind of ironic), get up and deliver it, and then go right back to writing. And say 'yes' to the next opportunity.

For you, Patricia Lynne!

And maybe take a nap in there somewhere.

Have I mentioned that I'm tired? (I'm kidding. I know I have.)

So, yeah. I'm going to stop here. I'm going to sleep for a bit, and then feel horrible because I wrote this post and told you these things.

Because I have a lot of issues. And feelings. Let's not forget the feelings.




Thanks for stopping by today—See y'all next time (provided I survive the forum and I haven't scared you off...)!

32 comments:

  1. The flyer looks great!

    You can totally do this. You've done it before, you can do it again. Even if you don't believe in yourself, we all do. :)

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  2. LOL! They totally ask you back because you rock. Hey, I get how you feel. I'm right there with you. People even start talking to me about my writing and I clam up, but I think being on stage is easier. At least then you can't personally analyze each reaction to what you've just said. And berate yourself for it. Repeatedly.

    You're going to rock!

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, I would agree that being on stage is maybe easier...at least until the talk ends and people come up to talk to you one-on-one about what you said, and you can't remember a word of it. And then you personally analyze each reaction and berate yourself for it...Repeatedly. :)

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  3. You can do it! I don't like public speaking either, but it won't kill you. Those people are excited to hear you. Just talk to them as if they were friends.
    And don't tell the other authors but your cover is the best on that flyer.

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    Replies
    1. That is true. Public speaking has yet to actually kill me.

      And thank you. That's very kind of you to say.

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  4. Didn't you do a previous speaking thingy and you loved it. You'll do great. You love writing and people will feel that.

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    1. Did I say I loved it? I'll have to go check because that does not sound like me. My blog was either hacked, so I'm such a liar. ;)

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  5. Sharing the music you listen to when you write and the scenes they remind you of from your book is actually a very clever way to promote without being all "buy my book." But some links and a cover image won't hurt. ;)

    Gosh darn it. I'll be in Cocoa on the 12th and then I'll be going to the Central Brevard Library later this month. I can't make it on the 8th, though. Man! If I could, I would go to cheer you on.

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    1. We'll have to get you on a panel one of these days, Chrys. :)

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  6. I totally understand where you're coming from but I know you will do great on Saturday. Hooray!! Knock 'em dead. :)

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  7. You can do it! You're terrified every time you do one of these things, but you always end up enjoying yourself when you're there. Get up there and smash it! And if you do vomit on the first three rows, well, you can sure know they'll never forget you!

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha—probably not the way I'd want to be remembered, though. :)

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  8. Good luck on Saturday, I'm sure you'll be terrific (not terrified, but possibly terrifyING?)

    Now, go to bed and sleep, for days if you need to, sleep! :-)

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    Replies
    1. 'Terrifying' seems like a distinct possibility. :)

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  9. Best of luck! I've found these types of events are usually more terrifying in our heads than in real life.

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    Replies
    1. I think that is true, but I really do find them to be terrifying in real life.

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  10. I know. Promotion is so difficult. I don't understand it even a little. I don't know how people can come up with these ideas to attract people to their work. They must be wizards.

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    Replies
    1. They really are wizards. I'm always amazed at how easily it comes to some authors. Whereas I'm still mastering the art of admitting I even wrote a book.

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  11. Good luck with the forum. You'll rock it.

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  12. Aren't they getting easier? They should be getting easier. That's why you keep doing them, so that the next one is easier than the time before. And marketing. Because marketing is good.

    I hope you got some sleep.

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    Replies
    1. They should be getting easier, but I feel like it's the opposite. I'll keep doing them anyway, in hopes that I can change that. And because marketing is good. :)

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  13. I completely empathize. (And have to retype it when I put down emphasize instead!) I know that terror. Just the thought of doing something like that myself, makes me not sleep for a week. You are awesome and brave and deserving of cookies. But to eat after the feeling of wanting to throw up passes.

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    Replies
    1. Oh yeah, best to eat the cookies after that feeling has passed. :)

      (I had brownies instead.)

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  14. Your post title made me think of that Black Eyed Peas song: I gotta feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night...
    Best of luck with the speaking gig on Saturday!
    I'm sure you'll be a hit!
    Writer In Transit

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  15. I hope you've gotten some rest by now. If not, I hope it comes soon! I'm running on 3 hours myself right now. :)

    Best of luck with your public speaking, and woot for getting return requests. That is awesome and you really can do this author thing. I know you can!

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  16. I hope you have a great talk today! I know what it's like to be terrified, so celebrate the courage you have for taking on the challenge! :)

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