Monday, April 10, 2017

How It Went

In my last post, I told you about my upcoming author forum, at which I was one of the five featured authors/speakers. Today, I thought I might tell you how it went because I know you're just dying to know.


So, I had planned to talk about inspiration—places where I have found it, and how it helped to shape my one, lonely, little novel. And I practiced my talk a few times beforehand in hopes that I would more or less memorize it and be able to deliver it somewhat smoothly. I did the same thing before my first talk, but I practice-delivered that speech a lot more. This time, I just lacked the time. And the focus. (I am living for Book Three right now. Which may or may not be a good thing.)

Anyway, there were eleven people in the audience (not including the other authors), and I was scheduled to speak fourth. By the time my turn came around, a few people had left, but there were still a lot more people than the no one to whom I had been practicing all week long.

So I get up there and begin talking. In my practice runs, my talk went approximately twelve minutes. It was supposed to last around fifteen, so I figured twelve was good because it would allow for a few minutes of me getting off track and rambling about some completely unrelated subject. (Not that I ever do that.) In my practice runs, I had proper transitions and pace and...other things I can't think of at the moment.

In actuality, I didn't deliver the talk anywhere close to how I had wanted to do it. I blew every transition and dumped an entire section. I have no idea for how long I actually spoke, but I'm pretty convinced I sounded a lot more like the Micro Machine Guy than I should have. In the event that you do not know to whom I am referring, I refer you to this video:




On one of those completely unrelated side notes in which I never indulge, if you've never heard the Micro Machine Guy's album "Ten Classics In Ten Minutes", you should really look it up. It's funny as hell. (His real name is John Moschitta, by the way, but I am an 80's child, so to me, he will forever be the Micro Machine Man.)

Getting back on topic...

But other than the aforementioned issues, I guess the talk went...not entirely horribly. People laughed. Possibly because I said a funny thing, but given how the rest of it went, I can't be too sure.

And then came the question and answer period.

Some of you know how this went because you saw it on Twitter, or even on this blog, because look—there it is on the left, but things went fine until this happened:

Audience Member: What's your book about?
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Audience Member: Hello?

I. Couldn't. Answer. The. Question.

One of the other authors (who had read my book) had to answer for me. (And did so very well, might I add. I should really just hire her to be my official spokesperson.)

Such a proud, proud moment.


(Note to self: Next time, practice answering questions, too...)

But despite all of that, I did manage to sell a book, which was one more than I had expected to sell, and there was even talk of having me on yet another panel. I suspect they were either just being polite, or super desperate. Or maybe the certain comic relief provided by a walking human disaster is just too good to pass up?

Time will time, I suppose.



So, this will probably end up being my last post until May. You know, because I really need a break from blogging. And because there's some travel in my not-too-distant future, and I just won't be around. But have a great week, and rest of the month.

Thanks for stopping by—see y'all in May.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

I Have A Lot Of Feelings (An IWSG Post)

Hello, everyone.

It's the first Wednesday of the month (at least I think it is. I haven't really slept in a while, so I suppose it might not be.), which means it's time for another installment of the Insecure Writer's Support Group (unless it isn't actually the first Wednesday of the month after all, in which case, let's just pretend it is, okay?) (seriously...do you know how many times it took me to type that close parenthesis correctly...or how many tries it took me to spell 'parenthesis' correctly? I don't even know if I did spell it correctly either time. Feel free to let me know in the comments.)

For more information, or a complete list of participants, please click on the above link.

This month's fantastic co-hosts are: Christopher D. Votey, Madeline Mora-Summonte, Fundy Blue, and Chrys Fey.

This month's (optional) question asks, "Have you taken advantage of the annual A to Z Challenge in terms of marketing, networking, publicity for your book? What were the results?"

I haven't done that. Not really. Well, maybe. I don't know. (Seriously, I am so tired right now.) Last year, my theme was the music I listen to when I'm writing. Like, songs that remind me of specific scenes or characters. Which I suppose could seem like it was marketing or publicity. Just not particularly good marketing or publicity.

Because I am an utter failure when it comes to marketing and publicity.

That said (again. It's not like it's a secret or anything.), this Saturday, I shall be participating in an author forum where I will be expected to stand up in front of people (gasp!), and speak (double gasp!) intelligibly (triple gasp!) on some subject for, like, fifteen minutes. (now I'm hyperventilating.)

It's true. Here's the flyer:


There are actually two flyers, but I chose the one
that doesn't actually have my face on it.

I think I've made my feelings on public speaking (or simply interacting with the human race) pretty well-known over the years, but in the event that you're new here, they can be summed up with one simple gif:

I have no idea what this is from, but it terrifies me
almost as much as public speaking does.


Regardless of the terror, when I am asked to participate in one of these forums, I say yes. Because it's good to get out of our comfort zones once in a while, right? It's good to challenge ourselves, and it's probably good that I at least make an attempt at promotion.

But I hate doing them. I hate promotion. I don't know how to do it without feeling all boastful and braggy. I feel horrible going into them, and I feel horrible coming out. And I carry around this horrible weight for a good week following each event.

This will be my third since moving to the first circle of hell Florida. My talks must be going reasonably all right, given that they keep asking me to come back, but it doesn't make me any less terrified. (I know I keep using that word. It fits and I'm too tired to think of another. And you have no idea how many tries it took me to spell 'another' correctly. I really need to go to bed.)

I suppose they could be asking me to come back each time because they've placed bets on when, exactly, I'll pass out, run away, or just projectile vomit all over the audience (first three rows may get wet...) and they all want to be there to record it for YouTube.

But let's hope it's the other thing.



Sorry...that Stephen Colbert gif has made me laugh and lose my train of thought, so I have no idea what I had originally intended to type in this space. Probably something about feelings, as the title of the post is "I have a lot of feelings", and the only feelings mentioned thus far have been terrified and tired. (Is tired a feeling? My goodness, I need to sleep.)

Oh! I remember! I was going to say something about how the terrible, horrible feelings there make me feel (see...feelings) like I can't do this writing thing. Well, maybe not the writing thing. I can write (kind of anyway...just don't use this blog post as an example). The author thing—that's what I meant. I don't always feel like I can do the author thing.

And I have no idea what to do about that except to finish writing my talk on inspiration (yeah, I'm talking about inspiration, which I feel kind of ironic), get up and deliver it, and then go right back to writing. And say 'yes' to the next opportunity.

For you, Patricia Lynne!

And maybe take a nap in there somewhere.

Have I mentioned that I'm tired? (I'm kidding. I know I have.)

So, yeah. I'm going to stop here. I'm going to sleep for a bit, and then feel horrible because I wrote this post and told you these things.

Because I have a lot of issues. And feelings. Let's not forget the feelings.




Thanks for stopping by today—See y'all next time (provided I survive the forum and I haven't scared you off...)!

Monday, April 3, 2017

Expand Your Vocabulary

Hey everyone!

I am poking my head out of my latest, totally unplanned blogging break to throw the spotlight on a brand-new book release by author extraordinaire, Patricia Lynne (aka Patricia Josephine).

Check it out...


A collection of flash fiction inspired by unusual words. Each tiny tale is crafted around a word that is unique or no longer in use. Read them while waiting in line, or before bed. They range from sweet and lighthearted to dark and disturbing. Look out for the supernatural, but don't turn your back on the average human. A killer might be lurking underneath. Expand your vocabulary, and get some inspiration of your own.


Now available at:

Smashwords
Kobo
B&N

About The Author:

Patricia Josephine never set out to become a writer, and in fact, she never considered it an option during high school and college. She was more of an art and band geek. Some stories are meant to be told, and now she can't stop writing. She writes Young Adult under the name Patricia Lynne.

Patricia lives with her husband in Michigan, hopes one day to have what will resemble a small petting zoo, and has a fondness for dying her hair the colors of the rainbow.

Find her online at:

Website
Twitter
Google+
Goodreads
Amazon Author Page
Smashwords


Congrats, Patricia!

See y'all on Wednesday...and for all of you who are A to Z-ing, we salute you.