I had a hard time settling on a topic for my first post back, and actually deleted the first two attempts because I felt they were overly insecure. I don't know if there's such a thing as "too insecure for the Insecure Writer's Support Group" but if there is, those posts (and by extension, me) were it.
Anyway, after that long and kind of weird intro, let me jump into the actual post part of this post...
I announced on Monday that I'm gearing up for a book release later on this year, which means that at the moment, I am going through my first big edit of the manuscript. I've spent the first five days of the year with a red pen in one hand and a blue highlighter in the other, circling and highlighting each and every mistake that I come across.
|A sample page from my first novel's edit. Not the current one.|
You can probably see where I'm going with this, but...
I'm already on my second highlighter. Because there have been a lot of mistakes. A lot. And more than one instance where my side note is just a big REALLY? written in the margins.
I know it's a big book, and I know I miss things when reading through it because I'm so close to it that I know what the manuscript is supposed to say, and not always what it does say. And I know that's why I haven't looked at it for three months, so that I could go back to it with fresh eyes to more easily find all of those stupid, little mistakes.
But there are just so many stupid, little mistakes. And a few other not-so-little mistakes, too.
And here's the thing...I feel I should be better at this by now. I feel I should have learned from the mistakes I made the first time around, so I could be more careful in the crafting of a new novel. And I thought I had been. Instead, I find myself doing this...
It's not that I expected this manuscript to be error-free—because I didn't. I mean, I know I write fantasy, but that's just one thing I can't imagine.
I guess I just expected more of myself, and I'm now disappointed that I was so far off the mark.
Please don't interpret this post as me giving up. That's not happening. I'm, by no means, throwing in the towel here. Just feeling a little more inept than usual. But I'll finish banging my head against the desk and then finish my edits and then live to write another crappy sentence another day. And then I'll edit the crap out of that one, too. And all the others that follow it.
No big deal. I just have a case of the Red Pen Blues.
Excuse me, folks...I feel a song coming on...
Thanks for stopping by today! I'll try to do better the next time!