Friday, December 4, 2015

Self Help 101

Today, My Pet Blog belongs to author L.G. Keltner and her brand new novella. It's a jammed-packed post with some helpful holiday survival tips, a snippet of the story itself, and giveaway at the very end. And without any further ado....take it away, L.G...


I’d like to thank M.J. Fifield for letting me stop by to promote my Christmas novella Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family.

This is the time of year that makes countless New Year’s resolutions regarding weight loss necessary. We get together with family or friends and eat until we can barely move.  Those of us who get to engage in such traditions are pretty fortunate, because not everyone is that lucky.

What do you do, however, if you’re so fortunate that you have more than one house to go to in a day, and therefore more than one large meal to consume?  I’ve been in this position before (though I try to avoid it when possible), and here are some tips to surviving it without exploding.

#1-Cut all your portions in half.  Yes, the food will tempt you, but you may need to practice self-restraint.

#2-Skip heavy drinks like eggnog.  Drinks that thick take up precious space in your stomach that you’ll need to cram food into.

#3-Skip dessert.  I know, the pie will be calling to you, but it may be a necessary sacrifice.

#4-Conversely, if you can’t bear to skip dessert, you could try showing up to one house just in time for dessert.  That way you won’t have to stuff yourself full of other things first.

#5-Ask to have food to take home instead.  Some people may understand your predicament and take pity on you.

In the end, you may still have far too much to eat.  You may need to make sure someone has a wheelbarrow available so they can wheel you out to your car.

Now I hope you’ll enjoy this snippet from Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family.

***

“So, what?  Her feelings are the only ones that matter?  Why?”  Hearing this was a bit upsetting, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say I was actually hurt.  Of course not.  I was unflappable.

“Because, as much as you try to play at being a brooding teenager, you’re nowhere near as good at making people miserable as your grandmother is,” my father growled.

***

Dani Finklemeier has decided to write a self-help book about how to take over the world, but she’s not sure where to start.  After all, she’s only seventeen and looking for a better way to make money than babysitting.  She buys a self-help book that promises to teach her how to write a self-help book in the hope of getting the job done.

Not that it’ll be easy to get any work done this holiday season.  Her family is staying at the house for Christmas, and fights break out almost immediately.  Dani also has to deal with the fallout from an unexpected kiss with her best friend Seth and the feelings that go along with it.  On edge around her family and unsure how to interact with the one person she’s trusted with everything in the past, she can only take what inspiration she can from the crazy circumstances surrounding her and see what happens.

One way or another, it should be an interesting holiday.

Available At:

Amazon
Amazon UK
Barnes & Noble
Kobo
CreateSpace

Add it on Goodreads

About The Author:

L.G. Keltner spends most of her time trying to write while also cleaning up after her crazy but wonderful kids and hanging out with her husband.  Her favorite genre of all time is science fiction, and she’s been trying to write novels since the age of six.  Needless to say, those earliest attempts weren’t all that good.

Her non-writing hobbies include astronomy and playing Trivial Pursuit.



You can typically find L.G. lurking around her blog, on Twitter, or on her Facebook page.a Rafflecopter giveaway

23 comments:

  1. I have a co-worker who has to visit three houses on Christmas Day! That's just insane. No one can eat that much and it's exhausting.

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    1. I think that would kill me. I've had to eat two full dinners in a row because I couldn't stand to be rude, and that was bad enough. I was in pain for the rest of the day.

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  2. I had one year where I had three celebrations to attend, but (until this year, anyway) two was the normal. I could never bring myself to skip rolls or dessert.

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    1. Sometimes you just have to overstuff yourself!

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  3. I'm lucky that I don't like much of the traditional food served this time of year, but several cookies and candies do somehow end up in my belly.

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    1. My problem is that I like the traditional food, and then I stuff the cookies in on top of that!

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  4. I'm lucky in my family always spread out the gatherings. We never had to visit both sides on the same day.

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    1. That definitely helps! I've gotten lucky that way for the past couple of years. I hope that luck continues to hold out!

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  5. Very helpful hints! This time of the year is so tempting. We need all the help we can get! :)

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    1. I know I struggle this time of year, too.

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  6. I count myself lucky that I don't have to visit a lot of people with food. :)

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  7. If you've got too many holiday feasts, another tip is to not eat for 24 hours prior. Seriously. You're so hungry the next day, eating a couple big meals is necessary.

    The book sounds amazing. I might have to get it for my niece.

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    1. I might have to try that sometime! And thank you!

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  8. I'm such a picky eater that I never really have to worry about my weight during the holidays, haha. Also, love the snippet! Sounds like a fun read...

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    1. That would be handy this time of year, and thank you!

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  9. The snacks and desserts always get me. I can't stop myself from munching. It actually helps me sometimes to carry around a drink like eggnog (or wine!). Then I can sip on it slowly and I feel less tempted to constantly munch on cookies and fudge.

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  10. I have less trouble with this at Christmas than I do on Thanksgiving, but for those kinds of days, I say . . . be at one house for appetizers, the next for the main course, and the last for dessert - and cut everything in half, and skip the drinks. However, I still struggle with feast days - Thanksgiving, Christmas and all the assorted Christmas parties that last for at least two weeks . . . it's hard to keep the portions half-sized.

    Your book sounds awesome!!!

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  11. Lovely L.G. My book-buying restraint is non-existent. I've just bought it so I can see lots more tips! (Skipping the nibblies is another good way to cut down!)

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  12. Happily, I am never in the position to have two Thanksgivings (or Christmases). My brother is, though. He always has to do two holidays. Good thing he can pack away the food no problem!

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  13. wow, after reading these tips, I realize i have no self-restraint... shame on me! i feel some resolutions forming. merry christmas and congrats LG! to MJ too =)

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