Friday, June 5, 2015

Job Hunt: Pop Quiz, Hot Shot

 As part of the Big Move, I had to leave my day job because I thought 1,500 miles was probably a bit long for a commute. I left in March and have been unemployed ever since. I decided to give myself until May to start hunting for a new day job, and now that it's June, I thought I'd actually get going on the application process.

The last time I applied for jobs was back in 2004, so it's been a while. Things are different now. Lots of online applications which include lots online surveys or questionnaires concerning various retail scenarios and other things I don't think actually apply to my ability to precision fold jeans and tee shirts.

But as I need one of them to give me a job, I had to take these things seriously-ish. Here, though, on My Pet Blog, I have to do no such thing. So here now, for your reading pleasure, is a collection (some slightly paraphrased) of my favorite questions from these questionnaires and the responses I would have liked to have given. And maybe actually did give (sometimes I just can't help myself). 


1. Why do you want to work for this company?

You have job openings and air conditioning.


2. Do you read fashion magazines?

I may glance at the cover of Cosmo once in a while when both it and I are in line at the grocery store. Does that count?


3. Why are you interested in working for the fashion industry?

Again, you have job openings and air conditioning.

4. Have you ever been in trouble at school for your behavior?

Yes. Once in Kindergarten my teacher told me I couldn't use the slide for the rest of the day because my daredevil approach to going down the slide made her nervous.

5. How often do you get high after work?

Never. I do that before work. Otherwise, I wouldn't show up.

6. Do you suffer from road rage?

I wouldn't say I suffered from it...I mean...no.

7. Do you often use profanity?

What the f#@k are you taking about? I mean...no. 

8. Do you have any special skills?

Making Management cry, composing sarcastic, work-related haiku, and eating my weight in chocolate cake in a single sitting.

9. Say you're folding a stack of tee shirts and a customer walks in. WHAT DO YOU DO?

I greet the customer in order to judge whether he'll make a good subject for a haiku, of course.


10. Say a customer is rude. WHAT DO YOU DO?

Tweet the conversation on my lunch break.


11. What are your career objectives?

To write and sell enough books that I can afford to quit this job.


12. What didn't you like about your last job?

Shall I refer you to my Twitter feed? Actually, I probably shouldn't. Never mind.



I'm sure this comes as a surprise, but I'm having a difficult time taking all of this seriously, which bodes well for the upcoming face-to-face interviews. I suspect that I may be unemployed for a good long while. I knew I should have been one of those bestselling authors.

So tell me...What's the weirdest question you've ever been asked when applying for a job?

Thank you all for stopping by—Have a great weekend!

46 comments:

  1. LOL--What do you do??

    I can't think of any weird questions but I was asked to share a bad experience from my former job so that was interesting. I made the interviewer laugh so I guess that was a good thing.

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    1. Yeah, sorry...I recently caught Speed on cable. I hope you read the questions in Dennis Hopper's voice.

      I've gotten the bad experience question before. Just as long as they don't ask what kind of tree I am.

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  2. Your answer to number eight is hilarious! Glad you warned them about the haiku.
    You're in Florida. Air conditioning is a must on any job.

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    1. I don't know how people who work outside here can stand it. But I suppose it's also possible that one day I won't find this place to be hotter than the surface of the sun.

      But yeah—until then, A/C is non-negotiable.

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  3. LOL, I know far too well how random and nonsensical job applications can get, since I've been filling 'em out for the past few years. (Sometimes the online ones even put me in a virtual reality scenario, and it's like, what.) Hopefully you have better luck with them than I ever do and can land a job relatively quickly!

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    1. I have not had a virtual reality scenario yet. Now I feel cheated.

      I hope I can find a job soon, too. This application process is rather taxing.

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  4. I laughed out loud at your answer to the first question. I seriously hope you really answered it like that - maybe your new boss will have a sense of humor. :)

    As for FL in the summer, you learn to work with it and around it. Think about walking on the beach in the winter - that's what I do. It helps. :)

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    1. I seriously did answer it like that. It's really the only answer I had for that question.

      Walking on the beach in winter. That's right—I'll be able to do that here.

      Delete
  5. It's been way too long since I applied for a job to remember any odd questions. I know there's a lot of unemployment but in our area, almost every retailer is advertising for help.

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    1. I've submitted applications just about every place looking for help. I sincerely have quite a lot of retail experience, so I hope that'll net me a few calls.

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  6. Good luck with the job search! And I like your answers to those questions. They're funny, even if they aren't the type the employer is looking for. I can't remember what questions I was asked. I tend to blank out on interviews because I'm so nervous and then have no clue what I said at the end. I think I only filed out one or two online applications, but I seriously can't remember a thing about them.

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    1. The last time I applied for jobs, there were no online applications. Everything was in-store. This time around, it's been about half and half.

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  7. LOL - love your answers! I can't think of a weird one at the moment.

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    1. Thank you!

      I don't recall ever having been asked such strange questions before now. It's been interesting.

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  8. When I first moved to CA, I worked for Toys R Us. I had previously worked for (and been let go from) a TRU in Louisiana. There was a comment from the LA store that I had been let go for being anti-social. I did not know that, of course, but they asked me during the interview about the comment. The source of my being anti-social? That would read during my breaks.
    It made the management at the LA store "uncomfortable."

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    1. I used to read during my breaks, too. Or, at least, I tried. Usually my breaks were interrupted by co-workers with questions.

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  9. Do you ever feel like hurting some else? That's my favorite on-line question.

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  10. I laughed at most of your answers. I like the way you think.

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  11. Love your answers! That's the stuff that's usually going through my head while I give the more responsible answers…. The weirdest question I was ever asked was in an interview for a job I actually got. One of the business owners asked me if I was sad. It really threw me! I was in an interview with three people staring at me. I wasn't sad. I was nervous!

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    1. I'll be nervous when I get to the interview portion of this experience. It's been a long time since I've had to do that!

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  12. Don't you wish you could give those answers. Just to see their faces as they read it.

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    1. I did have a job interview once where I was asked what my career objectives were and I answered what I wrote in this post. Needless to say, I did not get that job.

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  13. *LOL* If only we could give answers like that. I'm trying to think if I had been asked any strange questions in the past... other than what you would do if a client pulled a gun on you. (For a social worker position. Yeah, I know! My husband said he did not want me working for them after that interview.) But I guess that is actually important.

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    1. Yeah, I would think that would be a very important question in that situation. Yikes!

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  14. The getting high question just kills me. Do people actually admit to getting high to their potential employers? Never mind. They probably do in Florida.

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    1. If one is high, who knows to what they'll admit. Maybe employers figure it's worth a shot?

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  15. There's a reason I'm a sub. No job interviews. (Have you contemplated subbing instead of retail?)

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    1. That's a brilliant idea. I really should look into that.

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    1. Thank you! Now if only the interviewers felt the same way.

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  17. Job applications are the worst! I can't remember being asked any questions like that - apart from the usual "Are you a good team player?" (Frankly no - I hate sports and I thought we were here to work, not play!) Glad you could get a laugh out of it!

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    1. I hate that team player question. I'll be one if I have to be, but I'd prefer to work on my own. I know the task is getting done that way. I mean...yes, I am.

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  18. Good luck! Makes you wonder who comes up with these questions...

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  19. I wish you the very best. Responses to such questions could lead to anger management as in anger management and not the other kind of anger management.

    Gary :)

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    1. If I'm not making management angry, I don't think I'm doing my job. ;)

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  20. Best of luck to you. I think the job market these days is fiercely competitive and in some aspects as political as "Game of Thrones."

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    1. Oh no doubt. I'm guessing I'll get turned down because I'm asking for too much money—less money than what I had been making at The Store, but still, too much.

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  21. Some of those questions are just weird - trouble at school? How is that relevant? Love your answer to the career objectives question - that'd be my answer too :-)

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    1. I'm assuming that they get a lot of teenagers who apply for jobs with them. But I've been out of school for a good long while, and that question irks me.

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  22. Wow. It's been a long time since I've applied for a job. Glad these questions are online because if asked in person I may laugh out loud. I have a hard time dealing with BS.

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    1. I would definitely laugh out loud if I were asked these questions in person. But I'm sure we'll go over my answers at length during the actual interview.

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  23. Oh my gosh, those answers are hilarious! I'm crying! And no, that's totally not because I'm high. I swear...

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