Thursday, March 14, 2013

Film Favorites: I Need A Hero (and a hug)

I write to you today from the pit of despair, where I am Westley having the life sucked out of me. I write to you from the swamps of sadness where I am somehow both Atreyu and Artax. I write to you from...other depressing-type places. I'm sorry. I'm just...too sad to think of any others.

If you follow NFL news at all, you may have heard that my beloved Patriots wide receiver Wes Welker (as seen to your left) signed a deal. With the Denver Freaking Broncos. So today is the last day I can use the picture seen on your left because my beloved Wes Welker is a New England Patriot no more.

Obviously I am taking this poorly very well. While I have received taunts assurances from L.G. Smith that Wes Welker will be well taken care of and will look smashing catching PEYTON FREAKING MANNING'S touchdowns in his new blue and orange uniform, and while I am sure she's right, my heart is bereft and broken.

So while it may seem silly, I'm going to need a while to be okay with this. And by 'a while', I mean...like, a really long time because the truth remains that I'm still pretty pissed with Adam Vinatieri and I am was way more attached to Wes Welker than I was Adam.

And don't even get me started on Johnny Damon.

But let us not dwell on that...disappointment. Instead, let's take a look on the awesome side of life where the Veronica Mars movie was greenlit, thanks to Kickstarter and the efforts of fans everywhere.

In just eleven hours, fans worldwide raised the two million dollars needed to finance a big screen version of one of my all-time favorite television shows. And last time I checked, pledges are still rolling in.

The goal was to raise two million in thirty days, and the unfailingly loyal fans of this show did it in eleven hours.

Of course now we have to wait until 2014 to see this movie, but hey, it'll be worth the wait. And can I please buy my tickets now?

So now that we've covered the Facts of Life portion of this post, let's get down to my rundown on my favorite superhero/comic book  movies. I'll try to make it a little more brief than my previous posts, but I make no promises because first on my list is...

1. The Avengers


(Partially) written and directed by my idol—and yours—Joss 'the boss' Whedon, this movie really needs no introduction as I've talked about it nonstop since I saw it last May and, judging by the amount of money it made, most of you have seen it. And as for favorite moments/lines, there are seriously too many to list here. I really just want to post the entire movie for your viewing pleasure, but I am going to limit myself to just five moments and/or lines. If I don't happen to list your favorite, tell me what it is in the comments because I'm sure I love that moment too.

—Natasha's interrogation scene at the beginning, especially the parts where she kicks everyone's ass while tied to a chair and the snippet of Phil Coulson on hold.

—Hulk smashing Loki

—Hulk punching Thor

—Tony Stark: No hard feelings, Point Break, you've got a mean swing.

—Tony Stark: It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.

Damn. Was that five already?

2. The Dark Knight/ The Dark Knight Rises

I've always Batman as a superhero—so much more than Superman or the Flash or Aquaman— and while I want to give a special shout-out to the 1966 Batman movie starring Adam West and Burt Ward (some days you just can't get rid of a bomb), I thought these two most recent Batman offerings were fantastic. I'd include the first in this trilogy too if it hadn't been for the unfortunate casting of Katie Holmes. Sorry, Joey Potter, but it is my opinion that you didn't belong in this movie. 

I don't know what I can say about Heath Ledger's Joker that hasn't already been said and more eloquently so than anything I could've come up with (which probably would've been 'awesome' because I apparently do not have a varied vocabulary whereas good movies are concerned)  and just last weekend I finally watched The Dark Knight Rises and spent most of the movie in love with Joseph Gordon-Leavitt and Anne Hathaway (possibly the best Catwoman ever. Sorry, Lee Merriweather) while squinting at Bane saying "I know that's supposed to be Tom Hardy, but how is that possible?"

Favorite lines (all from TDKR):

Lucius Fox: [to Batman] I like your new girlfriend!
Catwoman: He should be so lucky.

Catwoman: You could have gone anywhere, but you came back.
Batman: So did you.
Catwoman: Well then I guess we're both suckers.

3. The Incredibles


This is an animated film released by Pixar in 2004—featuring the vocal talents of Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Samuel L. Jackson and Jason Lee—that tells the story of a family of superheroes attempting to normal lives in suburbia. It has a great story, great animation and some truly hysterical scenes. Like when Edna Mode tells Bob why his redesigned superhero outfit could not have a cape. Or the scene of the family dinner. Or the conversation from the scene where superheroes undercover Bob and Lucius are rescuing people from a burning building:

Bob: Can't you put this out?
Lucius: I can't lay down a layer thick enough. It's evaporating too fast!
Bob: What's that mean?
Lucius: It means it's hot! And I'm dehydrated, Bob!
Bob: You're out of ice? You can't run out of ice! I thought you could use the water in the air!
Lucius: There *is no* water in the air! What's your excuse, running out of muscle?
Bob: I can't just go smashing through walls! The building's getting weaker by the second, it's going to come down on top of us!
Lucius: I wanted to go bowling!

But my absolute favorite scene (and the one I still quote from today) is the following:



And that's going to do it for me today. Tune in tomorrow when I'll probably talk about my favorite spoof movies.

45 comments:

  1. I join you in your sorrow over losing one of the fiercest players to ever grace Foxboro stadium. And curses to that fiendish LG Smith for taunting you so! We shall prevail, we shall carry on, we shall show Peyton and those orange-clad buckos just where they can put their contract! Harrumph!

    About the movies, I remember well the 1966 Batman. Especially when Batman has an exploding shark on his leg and yells to Robin to throw him the shark-repellent Batspray. They sure don't make them like they used to.

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    1. Re Wes Welker: Right! Right!

      Re 1966 Batman: The shark repellent scene is my second favorite scene. The "can't get rid of a bomb" scene will always be my first.

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  2. The Incredibles is on my top 3 Pixar movies. I need to watch TDKR again too; I got the dvd for Christmas but I've only seen it once.

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    1. I've only seen it once too, but I liked it enough to actually want to buy the DVD. And I think the last movie that made me want to do that was The Avengers.

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  3. Rugby. I think you would like rugby.

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    1. I think you're probably right.

      I keep saying I want to be a defensive tackle in football, and then people just laugh at me.

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  4. You have excellent taste in heroes! Those would be at the top of my list as well. (The Incredibles is one of my favorite Pixar films.)
    Yes, Welker went to Denver. The only receiver in history to catch over a hundred passes five years in a row. And they traded him. Makes no sense at all.

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    1. No, it doesn't make any sense. And now I think I'm going to start crying again... Must. Think. Of. Happy. Things.

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  5. so, much, awesome!
    in avengers & incredibles alone!

    you hit the hightlights of avengers, hulk & tony stark snark!
    incredibles fave part id when the kids work together to help each other,
    when dash runs on water,
    when they survive the plane crash
    and the extra "jack, jack attack!"

    i could go on and on, better watch it tonight! need a dose of awesome!

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    1. Oh, I love those parts too! The first time I saw Jack Jack Attack!, I laughed so hard, I couldn't breathe for a while.

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  6. That's right, Wes Welker is a Denver Freaking Bronco now!! Heh. I love it. And we will take good, good care of him. When he and Manning take to the field next fall it will be like watching the Avengers kick ass in that final scene with Loki. :D

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    1. Really? You had to drag my favorite movie into this? :/

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    2. Even I have to say that was pretty low.
      But it was good.
      heh

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    3. And By Loki I meant Bill Belichick. Heh.

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    4. In Bill I trust. Unless he gets rid of Vince Wilfork too. Then all bets are off.

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  7. Love all your choices, including the miscating of Katie Holmes who I just don't care for. But have to give a thumbs up to Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman ("miaow."), and The Incredibles, which just might be my favorite animated movie ever.

    As for Johnny the traitor Damon, well...I think I'm much too much of a lady to say where I think he can go, the little turd.

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    1. I never actually saw Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman. Maybe I'll have to check it out and revise the list.

      And I'm definitely not too much of a lady to say where I think Johnny Damon can go, but if I get started, I'll never stop...

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    2. yeah, truthfully, I'm not too much of a lady but since this isn't my blog I figured I'd better watch my mouth ;)

      Oh, and Tim Burton's/Michael Keaton's Batman is excellent, imo, altho I do love Nolan's a little bit more.

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  8. I'll forgive you for your misconceptions over the Nolan Batman films.

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  9. Damn, my new phone is... Finicky. He's stuck way too many arrows through my heart for me to feel sorry for you.

    And I think Mystery Men belongs on any list of superhero movies. A guy who can only turn invisible if no one looks at him - or someone whose power is that they can get really mad... That's gold.

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    1. Wait...getting really mad is a super power? Because, in that case, I'm a super superhero.

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  10. I think if yesterday taught us anything, it's that crowdfunding can make any dream come true. So it's time to get cracking on your new Kickstarter campaign to get Welker back to NE.

    But if he chooses to return to Foxboro only as a Bronco, remember: He's a puny god.

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    1. Thanks for the idea. And the pep talk!

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  11. I love your list of superhero movies. May another super hot and athletic boy fill the vacuum left behind on the Patriots that will inspire you :)

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    1. The Pats just cut my second favorite player. It's going to take one super super hot and athletic boy to fill that hole.

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  12. I sympathize with your loss of Wes Welker, and especially Johnny Damon. Freakin traitor. Not Welker, Damon. Welker deserved better and NE should have paid the man. Then again he did drop some clutch passes; maybe that had something to do with it? Oh well. maybe his replacement Danny Amendola will set your heart on fire?

    My wife's family are lifelong NJ Devils fans so we've watched plenty of players leave town. But losing Zach Parise was the worst. Right after he got us to the SCF, too. And he's a total stud. Half the women of NJ (including my sister-in-law) were distraught.

    But enough about that a$$hole.

    There's a Veronica Mars movie?!??! That's sooo cool! I'm guessing they'll start shooting once Kristen Bell has her baby. Now I have three movies to look forward to: Divergent, The Fault In Our Stars, and Veronica Mars! :-)

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    1. They're supposed to start shooting the Veronica Mars movie this summer, for an early 2014 release.

      I'm also looking forward to the TFIOS movie. Loved, loved, loved that book.

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  13. The Avengers is so entertaining and I have to admit The Incredibles is pretty funny.

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    1. Superhero movies that make you laugh are the best.

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  14. I was so thrilled to see the news about Veronica Mars on Twitter yesterday. So awesome.

    I have not seen The Avengers. In my defense, I have not been out to a movie in... Yeah, I don't know anymore. No one invites me to go with. I've gotten to the point where I just don't go. But as soon as it comes on cable...

    But The Incredibles? It's one of like three movies that no matter what part is on when I turn it on (when it's on TV), I can't stop watching. I get sucked in every time.

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    1. I saw The Avengers twice in theaters. The first time I dragged my significant other there, the second time I went by myself because I didn't have anyone to go with me.

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  15. All three of those are great. Excellent choices and I think The Avengers is going to go down as one of my favorite super hero movies of all time....and that's saying quite a bit!

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    1. It's definitely my all-time favorite superhero movie. At least until Avengers 2 is released. Then they'll have to fight it out for the top spots.

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  16. Veronica Mars is making a movie!? I'm not sure whether I am super excited or worried... will Kristen Bell be involved? So it is 10 years later (like life?). I'm not sure I could buy it without the right actors for AT LEAST Veronica, Logan, Wallace, Keith and Mac.

    I should see Avengers... I'm not a comic fan, but I DO like Iron Man...

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    1. Oh yeah, Kristen Bell and Rob Thomas as much of the original cast that's available will be involved.

      I wouldn't necessarily call myself a comic fan either (list of favorite comic book movies aside...) but I am a Joss Whedon fan and that trumps everything else. I even went to see Cabin In The Woods and I hate horror movies.

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  17. I love The Incredibles. I haven't watched The Avengers, but I am just about to let my kids choose which film we watch, so that might change in the next 2 hours or so!

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    1. Well, if you do watch it, I hope everyone enjoys it!

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  18. I love of all of those movies! One of my favorite moments in Avengers is when Tony Stark is going off about Loki and gets to the point where he says, "Loki's a full-tilt diva. He wants flowers, he wants parades, he wants a monument built in the skies with his name plastered... Sonofabitch!".

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    1. Oh, I love that part too. Wait...I love all the parts.

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  19. Every time I see the part where the old german guy stands up to Loki, I cheer a little bit.

    "There are always men like you."

    YOU TELL HIM, OLD GERMAN DUDE! YOU FUCKIN' *TELL* HIM. I'm not crying, I'm NOT, I've just got something in my eye, some dust or something.

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    1. I do the same thing. Right down to the dust in my eye part. Weird how that always happens. Maybe I should clean more...

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