Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I Make My Own Fun

(BONUS POINTS to anyone who can NAME! THAT! REFERENCE! which inspired today's title)

Today I had intended to share with you a sure to be brilliant post (inspired by the wonderful Tara Tyler) on book endings and my personal views on what makes these endings work or not work.  But, as it turns out, I need more time to work on this particular post so it's been bumped for now.  I know.  I'm a day late and a dollar short.  I'd just go ahead and make that my motto if I hadn't already decided on 'kick ass and eat brownies' (seemed cool).

So instead, I'm going to revisit a segment that originated last year during NaBloWriMo: the work haiku.  If you're new to the blog and/or don't follow my Twitter feed, I have a tendency to write about my day in haiku form.  It started as a way for me to keep my mind occupied during my day job at The Store.  It's since become a way of life.

I should probably apologize for that.

Especially because, depending on the shift, I tweet a lot of them.  And I tend to write a lot more than I tweet.  But just know that even with my constant composing and tweeting, I still get more work done than many of my co-workers combined.

Well, maybe you didn't need to know that.  But it is true.

Anyway, here are the best from the latest batch of work haiku.  Sorry if they're ones you've seen before. But don't lose hope.  We're going into the busy season so there'll be plenty of material to draw upon in the future.

Wait... why are you running away?

my boss just offered
to run and fetch me donuts
what's happening here?

New guy says to me,
"They told me you were messy."
I'm also quite mean. 

New guy seems to be
afraid of making eye contact

can't imagine why.

the new manager
caught me tweeting that haiku
I'm in trouble now.

what the hell happened
to my neat and clean stockroom?

heads are gonna roll.

to my co-workers:
you may request my help but
you won't demand it. 

on paper you're boss
but it's better if you don't

tell me what to do.

to my manager:
I can't be bribed with candy
try brownies instead

precision folding
is such a stupid talent
wish I could juggle

lost my haiku list
here's hoping my boss doesn't
find the damn thing first

writing scenes at work
just don't tell my manager
she gets so cranky

And just one last poem before I head off to work...

Attention shoppers:
the stock girl will lose her mind
if you don't leave now

That's gonna do it for me today.  See y'all tomorrow!  


  1. Hope your boss doesn't find the haiku list!

  2. I freaking love your work haiku - they crack me up!

  3. I have to try writing some sarcastic haiku at the next faculty meeting. It might keep me awake.

  4. Brownies work for me too. Much better than candy. :)

    1. I mean, don't get me wrong, I ate the candy but I would've preferred brownies.

  5. Loved the line, "I'm also quite mean." So funny! These were really fun. :)

  6. Replies
    1. I'm thinking of having it made into a button to wear in place of my name tag.

  7. I love your haikus
    If I could I'd write one too
    You are awesome girl.


  8. I make my own fun, sounds like something Marilyn Monroe would have said. But I'm aware that's an historical reference now!

    1. This actually came from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Most of my references come from the Whedonverse.

  9. I love your work haikus. I look forward to them on Twitter, although of late I've been absent from Twitter. It's the thing that goes away when I get busy.

    1. Yeah, I'll have that problem more and more as we get closer to Christmas.

  10. Your haikus made me laugh. Very awesome. :D

  11. When I left my last job in LA before moving to CA, the owner of the place discovered that no one else working there was doing anything and had to replace the entire crew. heh And he still couldn't get it back to the place I had it all by myself.

    1. That's the reason why my boss will never fire me, no matter how bratty I am. She actually told me that.

  12. You may be the boss, but don't tell me what to do. That's pretty much my work ethic. Could also explain why I don't have a job. :P

  13. Lol! I love this! I should have done this when I was working at Pretzel Maker as a teenager. That might have relieved some stress!

    1. I bet Pretzel Maker would've have yielding some excellent haiku.

  14. I read this post this morning. I apparently didn't comment. Wow. Anyway, I write Haiku's all the time. Except for the occasional one I show my wife or something I just toss them. I would start posting them, but then I would feel like I was just copying you.

    Anyway, there are some great ones there.

    1. Well, I'm just copying Basho. I mean, sure, the man never wrote a haiku about cheetos or donuts or stupid co-workers but I'm sure he would have...

  15. Love the haikus! I used to do the same thing about all my science classes. Yours are funnier :)

  16. The lesson's simple:
    Haiku make work bearable.
    Also, yours kick ass.

  17. If I get a job I want to try this. Reminds me of Apollo from the Percy Jackson books.

    I think all authors go through the giggling, hand wringing state...followed by the random days of mooping, then eating lots of chocolate. The chocolate bit doesn't sound bad.


    1. I haven't read the Percy Jackson books so I will have to take your word for it.

      And no, the chocolate bit doesn't sound bad at all to me either.

  18. okay, so i'm so glad i inspired a post out of you! cant wait to read it!

    and these haiku are sooo great! you should consider stand up haiku! just go to starbucks & spout, or the should be thrown at this stuff!

    and i am awarding you tomorrow, one more post for the month =)

    oh yeah & can i be a minion, that slogan is the best, master! (will grovel for brownies)
    i am tired & rambling, please forgive me

    1. Stand up haiku... that's funny. As is this entire comment.

      Hope you're not disappointed by the endings post. I want to do a good job!!

  19. i love this blog post.
    totally gonna steal it.
    Thanks so much for this!!!