Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Confidence is a Four Letter Word

Taped to my desk is a calendar on which I schedule blog posts.  Some days, I actually get them written and posted.  It all depends on my mood.  Last Friday, for example, I was supposed to post the Dance Recital Drinking Game I invented while attending my nieces' dance recitals.  For example, do a shot every time there's a kickline.  (FYI: One can truly get sloshed at the Maine State Ballet's annual event on this one thing alone.)

But I didn't post it.  Instead I celebrated my writing success by taking the adult dose of Nyquil and actually sleeping for a change.  My dogs would like to report that Friday was the most boring day ever.

Then yesterday, I was scheduled to post the Page 69 Test.  This is something I came across on Liz Parker's blog, The English Bad Ass.  Liz found it on Katy Upperman's blog, Musings of an Aspiring Young Adult Author. (Both of these blogs are rather great so go check them out if you haven't already...)  The idea behind this test is to post an excerpt from page 69 of your manuscript and then explain how it reveals something about the passage's characters.  I thought this was a cool idea and wanted to give it a whirl.

But I didn't post it.  Obviously.

Last week on My Pet Blog, I was posting about my plans to publish my book.  Last week on My Pet Blog, I was posting about how I finished all my stupid rewrites and edits to said book.  Last week on My Pet Blog, I was doing a happy dance or twelve.  Last week on My Pet Blog, I was riding a pretty narly confidence wave.

I have since wiped out.  I started losing my balance on Friday and it continued through the weekend until finally I ended up face down in the sand. 

Now I want to strap a bunch of C-4 to my manuscript and blow the hell out of it.


So I figure the best thing to do is to fake it until I can make it.  That, or have another swig of Nyquil.  Or two. 

Maybe I'll post the Page 69 Test tomorrow.  Or maybe I'll cower under my desk and inhale a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food.  Time will only tell.

Hope y'all are having weeks brimming with creativity and confidence.

Cowabunga, dudes.

23 comments:

  1. Don't lose that confidence now!!!
    And if you go for the Ben & Jerry's, do share with the dogs.

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    1. Share my Phish Food? Not likely. The dogs can get their own Ben & Jerry's. Preferably a flavor with less chocolate...

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  2. No confidence here, just Ben & Jerry's blueberr vanilla Greek yogurt!

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    1. Oh, I just saw that at the store yesterday. I had no idea they were doing the Greek yogurt thing.

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  3. Creativity? Confidence? Um, no. Over here, we're brimming with bananas (the torts got a treat this morning) and waffles and coffee (that's me.) Sometimes you have to keep pushing, keep chugging along. Other times, you need to bliss out on bananas and bask in the sun. Take a guess at who's doing what at my house right now... Sigh.

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    1. I'm not a fan of bananas but I'm good with the blissing out with waffles part.

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  4. Confidence is regrouping, and ooooh what I would do for some Ben & Jerry's to magically appear on my desk!

    Hang in there! REMEMBER THE HAPPY DANCE!

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    1. Oooh. I love would it if Ben & Jerry's would magically appear on my desk too. It would save me a trip to the store.

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  5. I say do the 69 Test rather than use C-4 to 86 (or deep-6) your manuscript. Actually, I say go for the Ben & Jerry's, but that's just the ice creamoholic in me talking. (That's right, I'm addicted to ice creamohol.)

    Anyway, go find that confidence again. Find reasons to do more happy dances. And have some ice cream. You deserve it.

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    1. Maybe the confidence is hiding at the bottom of a pint of ice cream...

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  6. how many other sets of eyes have read it? you need betas and cps! they are tremendous confidence boosters! even just posting your pg will bring you smiles and encouragement to keep going!

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  7. Well lets see...first off, I'll have to write 38 more pages to get to 69...so There you go! you're that much further ahead then I am! :) HA! maybe plant some veggies...watching things grow in dirt always makes me feel a little less in my own head.

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    1. If I plant veggies, I'll just end up attracting bears to my yard. More bears to my yard.

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  8. Hmmm. Why did you suddenly change your mind on your manuscript? Don't blow it up. I believe in you.

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    1. Oh, it's just something that happens when I'm... well, when I'm awake. I probably won't blow it up. Too badly, anyway.

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  9. Grr... Let me read it!
    Bah!
    :P

    I emailed you earlier, by the way.

    Oh, and my daughter would disagree with your dogs about the most boring day ever.

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  10. Don't give up! I'm sure it's great! I know it is.

    Btw, it's not to late to enter our blogfest like you think. It's still open if your want to turn in a last minute excerpt. Maybe then I can judge for myself if your manu should go up in smoke.

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  11. Oh, the infamous "blow up my novel" phase - yeah, I think we've all been there. Hang in there and keep your sense of humor. That gnarly sense of confidence will return!!

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  12. Step away from the novel. Ice cream sounds like a good idea.

    You're in the buyer's remorse phase. What seemed like such a good idea at the time now seems amazingly stupid. It's not. This is normal. Don't do anything right now. Wait it out. Your confidence will return.

    Feedback will help. You need others to tell you that you're being way too hard on yourself. You are. Of that I'm sure.

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  13. Phish food is a good choice :) Sounds like you got a hell of a lot on your plate; it might be a good idea to take a small break from things and recharge :)

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  14. It's the adult equivilent to a small child who's really looking forward to their birthday party with all their friends, and cake and presents and magician... but then gets overwhelmed by those very same things and spends the whole party in tears.

    It's completely normal... but step away from the explosives, just to be on the safe side :-)

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  15. I have little notes about what I want to write all over the place. Sometimes it hits daily, others not so much. I tend to schedule out the dates though so it appears as though I'm not so scatter brained and riding the manic roller coaster. :)

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  16. Confidence is a bitch. I was a bit over confident when I put out Impact, and now I'm finding all sorts of mistakes and going crazy. I swear I went over it a million times, but I guess I should have gone over it a million and one :(

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