Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Demotivational Talk

I received a call from The Store the other day.

(Don't you just love the posts that start with that statement? It means something truly absurd is bound to follow.)

Anyway, my boss called and left me a message (because no way in hell was I actually going to answer the phone), asking me to please come in and pick up my self evaluation form because it's review time again.  (Oh joy.)  She also mentioned a need to have me sign something.  She didn't say what the something was, just told me when she'd be at The Store so I could stop in and get it taken care of.

When I got there, she took me in the office (never a good sign) and asked me to have a seat (another bad, bad sign).  Then she read to me a memo from the corporate office that said that in The Store, someone with my job title could only earn so much money per hour and that I had reached that glass ceiling.  As a result, I would not be eligible for any further pay raises, regardless of whether my performance merited one or not.

Then she handed me my self evaluation and asked me to get it back to her by Friday.  I told her I could fill it out right then and there in about thirty seconds because it wasn't like I was going to put any real thought or effort into it.

Because, seriously, what's the point?

My pay increases at The Store were always laughable at best (I think last year's was a whopping thirty two cents an hour) but at least they were a pay increase of some kind.  Now I'm really not sure what my motivation to do my job is.  I could be the model employee (well, maybe in a parallel universe where Altera-me is not a surly, sarcastic, pain in the ass).  I could precision fold every display on the sales floor every day.  I could sell $500 of product to every customer.  I could sign up 100 people for credit cards and still, I won't get a penny more for my efforts.

Not that I'm rolling in the dough as it is.  My checks of late have been über pathetic.  Like, more so than usual.  So much so that The Man looked at the last one and said, "why do you even have a job?"

And you know what?  For the life of me, I can't remember.

Must be time to publish my book and get the frak out of retail.


  1. Sounds like a chance of scenery is on the cards. I've felt like that in the past - once I hit that ceiling, I no longer cared about my performance and only worked the minimum required to keep my job. If I wasn't going to be rewarded for any outstanding effort, then I'd look elsewhere.

    Hopefully publishing will be your way to go so you can tell The Store to shove it :)

  2. I feel your pain. I spent a few miserable years working in retail. My boss was a bully and it ended with me telling him to kiss my arse. How I didn't get fired I'll never know. But on my last day I turned cartwheels on the shopfloor in front of him ;)

    I hope publication can help you escape!

  3. I have never had a review that's made any difference to my pay. In my last job they got the hang of the fact I wasn't going to take it seriously. All the paperwork was put in a filing cabinet and never looked at again - even the ones that asked for training!

  4. Well that's crappy! Should've told the manager you were bucking for her job.

  5. I was a retail manager for years and cooperation's policy on that type of thing sucks. But at least our companies offered lump sum checks once the ceiling was hit. That, and or company stock options.

    No raise at all? Ridiculous.

  6. Time to publish & get the frak out of retail indeed! Especially when the Big Bosses tell you that you're basically doing too good a job.

    I second Alex's recommendation. If you can't get more money with your current title...

  7. I love this: "well, maybe in a parallel universe where Altera-me is not a surly, sarcastic, pain in the ass"

  8. It seems it may well be time to get out of retail, but until that happens... Your manager claims it's just the title holding you back, so give yourself a snazzy new one. Something like Product Dispersal Über-Overlord, but you know, snazzier. Then you won't have those same salary restrictions.

    (If only it were that easy...)

  9. Publish that book and get out of retail! That's a good plan to have. Talk about motivation...

  10. @Jamie- Yeah, I mean, I have absolutely no motivation to do anything for that place anymore. It's time to run out the clock.

    @Miss Cole- I've often wondered how I've never gotten fired because there are days when I set out to do just that and my boss tells me that she'll never fire me. When I leave, I don't think I'll do cartwheels. Maybe I'll moonwalk.

    @Annalisa- In my last review, I was asked to stop heckling the staff meetings. But they still gave me a raise. This year I actually stopped heckling the staff meetings and now I won't get anything for my efforts. If only I'd had a crystal ball...

    @Alex- But I don't want her job. Maybe Alterna-me does but I do not.

    @Juli- No raise at all anymore for me. All of the paperwork and hassle, none of the reward. Seems like a super policy to me.

    @Liz- I love that. Plus, it's all true.

    @Nate- That is an awesome title. Anything with Overlord in it has be to in line for a pay bump, right? I love that idea!

  11. i feel your pain also---my husband is going through something similar--after losing his good job a few years ago---as a matter of fact--his company, just took back money from it's employees!

  12. I'm I KNOW...they're under-evaluating you. You're worth far more than they're prepared to give you. God, this world at the moment - it's the same everywhere. It's the honest, hard-working and talented ones who are suffering :-(

  13. Here here! The timing on that was probably not the best, nor was it the best way to address it. I'm sometimes surprised at how jobs decide to deliver bad news. Focus on the writing for sure.

  14. Wow... that's... ridiculous. :-/

  15. I first read the title of your post and thought it said "Devotional Talk". LOL.

  16. Don't quit your day job! I was laid off after a lifetime of banking and finance and thankful to get the frak out. still am. But I miss the income and such. Good thing Wifey works.

  17. i know the feeling... our substitute teacher pay just decreased 20%

    i like my job & only do it for xtra $ & because its so flexible. i'm one of the lucky few...

    lets get those suckers published!

  18. I think there is a lot of freedom in deciding that you are going to give your employer what they are paying for. I'm not saying that I'VE done that, I'm just saying there might be, hypothetically, several low paying jobs in my work history that COULD have gotten a half-assed effort from me.

    Or quarter-assed, if that's a real thing.

  19. Aww! That's terrible! Perhaps it is the sign to get that book out there and see if you can get out of working for The Store.

  20. @Emily- That would be my only motivation right about now.

    @Lynn- The company took back money from its employees? The Store is a pretty crappy place but it's never done that.

    @Susan- Thanks for the vote of confidence.

    @JEM- The only thing you can count on the Management team for is bad timing. They never fail on that.

    @Misha- It really is.

    @Matryoshka- Well, you know how religious I am.

    @Stephen- If I haven't quit yet, I probably won't. I'll just do nothing until they fire me.

    @Tara- Pay decreases definitely suck. And yes, let us publish our novels and experience best selling success!

    @Rusty- I'm guessing if one happens into The Store when I'm working, one will see the very definition of 'quarter-assed'

    @Cherie- I like to think it is a sign. The universe is forcing my hand.

  21. That's when you tell them to promote you. Or that you're going on to some other place that will pay you more, whether or not that's true.