Friday, March 16, 2012

Long Time, No Blog

Heeeeeeey Kids! (Name! That! Reference! If you dare...)

I'm back. Did you miss me?

No, wait. Don't answer that. It'll just depress me because right now I'm imagining y'all squinting at the screen and saying, "What the hell is this site and how did I end up on it?"

So let's just move on.

My return here means my time at The Store is done (at least until they shine their bat signal again. Yes, I have decided to liken myself to a superhero. A retail superhero. Wait. That sounds lame. Never mind...). It was its usual laugh riot. I wrote a smattering of new work themed haiku (you may have seen them on Twitter and/or Facebook), got flipped off by the Store Manager for being a smart ass (yep, I wrote a haiku about that) and one day, I was sent home from work early because— wait for it— I was getting too much work done. True story.

Pause for contemplation and reflection. And confusion. So much confusion.

As the awesome Random Danni pointed out to me, I am basically living my own version of Office Space.

How right you are, Danni. How right you are. Every time I think The Store can't possibly get more absurd, I show up for another shift. I really need to stop doing that.

So, as it turns out, I am too efficient for The Store. Now I just need to figure out how to translate that into other areas of my life, namely my writing. We're half way through March and I'm still stuck in the rewrites and edits phase that I had hoped to have done back in January. This is depressing too so I have decided to incorporate a new tactic.

Bribes.

Obviously I am pathetic for having to do this, but lately I've been wanting to take a road trip to Mike's Pastry in Boston (An awesome bakery found on Hanover Street in the North End) because they have giant cookies and cakes and brownies and all sort of other delectable treats (they're famous for their cannolis. I personally don't care for cannolis but I hear they're good.) and I have an addiction to sugar. And taking long road trips for the sole purpose of buying giant cookies. Don't judge me.

But anyway, I want to do this so I have decided that as soon as I complete my rewrites and edits and get Effigy into the hands of my unsuspecting beta readers (Yep. Getting back on that horse. Again. Stupid horse.), I shall reward (and distract) myself with a visit to Mike's Pastry.

And when/if I finally get Effigy out into the world, I shall reward (and distract) myself with a double bladed battle axe. Or a matching pair of short swords. I haven't decided which one yet.

But that's another blog post for another time.

Just one last thing before I disappear to try to make some editing/rewriting headway...

Today is my sister B's birthday. (Your gift is in the mail, B, I swear.And I'm not just saying that like I do to the electric company every month about their check.) Help me wish her a good one.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, B!!

17 comments:

  1. Happy birthday to your sister!

    I think a trip to Mike's Pastry is a great reward for getting your book out into the world. Sugar motivates me. : )

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  2. Too efficient? You need to start slacking. Now, go treat yourself to a cookie.

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  3. Nope. No cookies. Not until I get this work done.

    I imagine this will backfire horribly.

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  4. Welcome back - your humor was missed :)

    Happy Paddy's Day to you, too :)

    (Time to bring on the Irish Yoga :)

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  5. Good reward idea. I need to think of what I use to motivate myself because I'm months behind also.

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  6. Always happy to read your blog. You're a hoot. Really.

    And happy birthday to your sister! :)

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  7. Welcome back! And Happy Birthday to your sister, too! :D

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  8. Hey, you, thanks for stopping by my blog and I'm now following you--you're a funny person. Funny people should stick together, I think. So I'm looking around your blog and--wow! You have my blog up Under "Awesome Blogs"! I'm touched... plus nervous.

    Well, good luck with those edits. Don't worry. It takes as long as it takes. I've been doing read-throughs/editing/adding etc. since December on this one. I'm still adding and editing, but these are the slasher types--which gets bloody (hence the blood on the key pad!).

    Definitely reward yourself once you're done, but don't forget to stop and smell the roses, or whatever is blossoming outside.

    Happy birthday to "B"!

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  9. Carb inspired road trips are perfectly legit. Get those edits done!

    And happy birthday to the sister. :)

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  10. Have fun on your road trip. Try not to get fat. That would make it not worth it. Especially if it leads to diabetes.

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  11. You wouldn't by any chance be referencing Garfield's Christmas special, would you? Cause that's where I know that line from :D Welcome back!!

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  12. I like that you're a retail superhero. Do you have a cape? If not, you should have one. :)

    Happy St. Pats!

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  13. Happy birthday to your sister.

    You know, right now is an excellent editing time. That's probably why you haven't been able to get into it. You were unconsciously waiting for now, and now the editing is gonna fly.

    I want to take a road trip for giant cookies! I'm going to have to see if there's someplace nearby...

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  14. I thought it was Hey You Guys!!!! from the Electric Company. But I'm dating myself. Speaking of which, you know you can pay PSNH online, right?
    Just kidding....I want to go to BOS too!!

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  15. Happy Birthday to your sister!

    That sounds like a great way to reward yourself.

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  16. I hope your sister had a happy birthday. And welcome back! I'm glad to see you again, even if you are too efficient for a retail store :)

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  17. Haha, as soon as I heard they sent you home for working too hard that's all I could think of...

    I like the idea of bribing yourself to get things done if you have the discipline for it, and from what I understand Mike's is definitely quite the bribe... (Despite the fact that I've lived in Boston my whole life I've never been... I should probably fix that.)

    Anyway, good luck and happy writing!

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