Heeeeeeey Kids! (Name! That! Reference! If you dare...)
I'm back. Did you miss me?
No, wait. Don't answer that. It'll just depress me because right now I'm imagining y'all squinting at the screen and saying, "What the hell is this site and how did I end up on it?"
So let's just move on.
My return here means my time at The Store is done (at least until they shine their bat signal again. Yes, I have decided to liken myself to a superhero. A retail superhero. Wait. That sounds lame. Never mind...). It was its usual laugh riot. I wrote a smattering of new work themed haiku (you may have seen them on Twitter and/or Facebook), got flipped off by the Store Manager for being a smart ass (yep, I wrote a haiku about that) and one day, I was sent home from work early because— wait for it— I was getting too much work done. True story.
Pause for contemplation and reflection. And confusion. So much confusion.
As the awesome Random Danni pointed out to me, I am basically living my own version of Office Space.
How right you are, Danni. How right you are. Every time I think The Store can't possibly get more absurd, I show up for another shift. I really need to stop doing that.
So, as it turns out, I am too efficient for The Store. Now I just need to figure out how to translate that into other areas of my life, namely my writing. We're half way through March and I'm still stuck in the rewrites and edits phase that I had hoped to have done back in January. This is depressing too so I have decided to incorporate a new tactic.
Obviously I am pathetic for having to do this, but lately I've been wanting to take a road trip to Mike's Pastry in Boston (An awesome bakery found on Hanover Street in the North End) because they have giant cookies and cakes and brownies and all sort of other delectable treats (they're famous for their cannolis. I personally don't care for cannolis but I hear they're good.) and I have an addiction to sugar. And taking long road trips for the sole purpose of buying giant cookies. Don't judge me.
But anyway, I want to do this so I have decided that as soon as I complete my rewrites and edits and get Effigy into the hands of my unsuspecting beta readers (Yep. Getting back on that horse. Again. Stupid horse.), I shall reward (and distract) myself with a visit to Mike's Pastry.
And when/if I finally get Effigy out into the world, I shall reward (and distract) myself with a double bladed battle axe. Or a matching pair of short swords. I haven't decided which one yet.
But that's another blog post for another time.
Just one last thing before I disappear to try to make some editing/rewriting headway...
Today is my sister B's birthday. (Your gift is in the mail, B, I swear.And I'm not just saying that like I do to the electric company every month about their check.) Help me wish her a good one.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, B!!