I think the world may be about to come to an end.
You're probably wondering how I know this. These signs have been subtle. We're not talking rain of toads or fire or anything that would be a clear indicator that it's time to start stocking up on canned goods and finally start building that apocalypse bunker in the back yard (although, now to think of it, a rain of toads might be a bad time to start that project.). But there are signs that make clear to me that something strange is going on around here. Something that makes me think if I lived in Sunnydale, it would be mid May and not the end of March.
But don't take my word for it. Judge for yourself:
Apocalypse Sign #1:
I don't have any desire for anything chocolate in any way, shape or form. I don't want cookies (as evidenced by the fact that there's a batch of chocolate chip cookies that have gone untouched by me for two days now. That's totally unheard of!). I don't want cake or muffins or candy bars. I don't want any of it. I received an email from a potential new beta reader offering to bake me a chocolate cake and my first thought was "Deal breaker!"
Apocalypse Sign #2:
I now have HBO. In my house. If you're my brother or sister-in-law, you're probably making some sort of sounds of shock right about now. If you're anyone else, you have no idea why this is a sign of the impending apocalypse, but it is. To understand we have to flashback to a little over a year ago, right before HBO's epic series A Game Of Thrones was due to be released. I wanted to watch it. Bad. Really, really bad. I'm a freaking epic fantasy nut. I loved the books and I desperately wanted to watch the series. But in order to do so, I needed HBO but I couldn't (and still can't) make any changes to the cable account because it's in The Man's name. The Man did not see the need for HBO so no matter how many times I brought it up (and I brought it up a lot), he stood strong and we didn't get HBO. Even though I told him he could cancel the channel just as soon as the series ended its season, he wouldn't go for it. So I didn't watch the series until recently when it came out on DVD. By then, The Man had given in and read the first novel. He's not yet read the second. But I have and now the second season is set to begin on Sunday and I really want to watch it. So I brought up the HBO thing again a couple of times. Not nearly as many times as I did last year. Nowhere near as many times. I'd resigned myself to knowing that I'd have to avoid spoilers (yes, even though I've read the book, I still don't want to know what's going to happen on the show) and wait until the DVDs were released. And I was cool with that. Mostly.
So imagine my surprise yesterday when The Man told me he'd added HBO to our cable package. And by 'surprise', I mean suspicion. When I asked him why he was being so nice, he responded with, "I'm not being nice. I'm just trying to get you to shut up about it."
Hmmm. I can feel a song coming on...
Apocalypse Sign #3:
It's snowing outside. Yes, I know it's March and I live in the White mountains and snow this time of year, and even in April, is not unusual but, c'mon, Mother Nature. This time last week, it was 80 degrees and sunny and I was napping in my hammock. I mean writing. I doing lots and lots of writing. But isn't there some kind of rule about how once you get to break out the hammock and your sandals, you don't have to go back to parkas and boots until next winter? Because if there isn't that rule, there really should be because this is just mean.
Apocalypse Sign #4:
I actually got a lot of work done yesterday. A lot. There are no more yellow post-it notes covering my storyboard. And once I finish these last two scenes, this round of rewrites/edits will be done. Not to mention, I actually had a moment where I thought, "Hmm. This novel isn't half bad. In fact, it might be almost okay."
We're all doomed. Sorry to break it to you like this. If we're all still here tomorrow, I'll be blogging about my plan for the A to Z Challenge. The phrase "winging it" will likely be used. A lot.