Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Work Haiku, Part Two

I don't really think this blog needs an introduction but just in case you're a little confused, I decided a couple of weeks ago to write about my day at work. In the form of a haiku. Because I am just that creative. Or bored. I can never decide which one.

Anyway, the past few days at The Store have been...challenging (to say the least) and so to keep myself sane (saner?) and my co-workers in one piece, I decided to repeat the exercise. This latest batch is a bit...uh...bitchier than the first as my sense of humor disappeared entirely for a while there but it's all good now. And do you want to know why?

The Store has run out of payroll and can't afford to have me on the schedule for the rest of the week.

So here, for your reading pleasure, is a new slate of work haiku...

Someone left Cheetos
Out on the break room table.
I am stealing them.

Someone left Kit Kats
Out on the break room table.
You know what that means.

Cheetos and Kit Kats:
The breakfast of champions
And surly stock girls

Cheetos and Kit Kats:
I am the epitome
Of healthy eating

Basho never wrote
A haiku about Cheetos.
I feel bad for him.

Attention shoppers:
Please ignore the stock girl as
She will not help you.

Best not scare the girl
Balancing on the ladder.
It makes her fall down.

I cannot deal with
The rampant incompetence
Infesting this store.

Stupid jackwagon.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Go work somewhere else.

That protein shake is
Say it with me: Mine, not yours.
So stop touching it.

I don't want to be
Your go-to girl anymore.
Please find someone else.

It's true that I have
A terrible attitude.
Good thing I don't care.

Beware the stock girl
Who has gone deathly quiet.
Nothing good follows.

What a happy day!
The Store ran out of payroll!
I have to go home!


  1. I love a good haiku. These are quite good M.J.

  2. I really dig these! How were the Cheetos?

  3. LOL! I need to take up that hobby. Bitching Haiku.

  4. I haven't written haiku since school. I LOVE these. I can't even pick a favorite.

  5. you really get into your work!
    i can picture you reading this in a dark and smoky cafe and everyone snapping wen you finish =)

  6. Definitely the breakfast of champions!

    Congratulations on getting some unexpected downtime. But this payroll thing isn't going to be a problem, is it??

  7. Ah, I love this!! These are VERY good! :)