Today is the first day of a new monthly blogging series, the Insecure Writer's Support Group (follow the link for information and a list of participants). You may be wondering why I'm doing this because obviously, I am not insecure at all. All right, I'm totally and completely insecure and I'm looking forward to sharing my fears and concerns and maybe, just maybe, being able to help alleviate the fears and concerns of others. Hmmm...alleviating fears and concerns may be too much to ask from my poor addled mind. Maybe I should just shoot for letting people know they're not necessarily alone.
I guess we'll find out.
Anyway, I don't know really what I should talk about in this very first post. A lot of people (well, okay. Maybe not a lot of people. Maybe just two people. I haven't made it to very many blogs today. You can blame my day job. I do.) seem to be talking about their fears so, for a lack of any better ideas (again, blame the day job. It just sucks the creativity out of you), here are a couple of mine:
1. I am afraid of failure. I am afraid that I'll write this book, publish this book, put it out in the world and absolutely nobody will read it or buy it or acknowledge it in any way, shape or form. Like, not even my friends and family. Maybe I could just market it as a doorstop. Do people still buy doorstops? You could crochet a cover for it like people do with bricks. It'll be the best doorstop ever. Just don't, you know, get it wet.
2. I am afraid of success. Go figure, right? I suppose being afraid of success is a little like trying to run before you can walk but I think about these things sometimes, life after publication (I hear there is such a thing and it is occasionally nice) things, I mean and I worry that I will one day run out of ideas or words or talent (provided I have any with which to begin, of course). Running out of any of these would not be conducive to a successful writing career. That's probably the good thing about my day job. It does not require talent to fold shirts. Alcohol, maybe. But talent? Not so much.
3. It's probably hard to tell, given my occasional bouts of holier-than-thou grammar lecturing, but I have a sometimes crippling lack of self confidence. I am honestly my own worst enemy when it comes to writing and don't really know how to get out of my own way.
Since three is a magic number (Name! That! Reference!), I'll stop there. I do, however, want to give a shout out to a few people and one group of people who are awesomely supportive. And don't be offended, Blogger friends of mine, because while I do find you delightfully wonderful, this is a (not all inclusive) list of people with whom I have actually stood in the same room.
1. Code Monkey (aka The Man). I give him a lot of crap and maybe pick on him a lot in blog and, you know, in life in general, but he really is a good guy who puts up with all my writer idiosyncrasies and never (outwardly) complains about them. He's also actively researching self publishing opportunities for me because, unlike me, he thinks it will be awesome. And we're all about the awesome. Hmmm...maybe I should start calling him Captain Awesome (Name! That! Reference!)
2. My Bro. He's really awesome too. He'll listen to me drone on and on (well, he reads my long rambling emails) about the same thing over and over again. He never (outwardly) complains about my repetitive problems and then always gives me good advice. He told me recently that, "As long as you do what you want to do, you won’t make the wrong decision." Awesome advice, right? So now I just need him to tell me what is it I want to do...
3. My friend Mike (aka the Best Beta Reader in the World). If you read his name, you should already know why I want to celebrate this guy. He's read every draft of everything and has never (outwardly) complained about it. Plus, he's never had me committed or told me I can't hang out with his kids after receiving an email from me asking some random throat slitting question. Why I keep thinking Mike's some kind of throat slitting expert, I do not know (he probably doesn't know either) but he always comes up with something. Mike also gets points for recently telling me that should I ever even consider quitting this whole writing thing (I won't.), that he will be worse than a nest of angry yellow jackets until I get back to it or whatever. And as someone who recently stepped on a nest of angry yellow jackets for the second time in her life, I know how much I don't want to have that happen.
4. My writers group. This is a group I joined a few months ago after seeing an ad for it in the local paper. Every other time I've attempted to join a writers group in the Mount Washington Valley, it's been a group of little old ladies writing their memoirs. This new group is kind of like that (we seem to talk about quilting a lot) but it's been fun and I find myself coming up at the end of each meeting feeling energized and ready to do some serious writing. I almost never do that serious writing (again, we're blaming the day job for that) but still, I want to.
That's going to do it for me today. Thanks for tuning in and we'll see you next time on My Pet Blog.