Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Pitch

The Recap: Shelley Watters over at Is It Hot In Here Ir Is It This Book? is hosting an Epic Follower Blogfest/Contest with a mind blowing prize: a full manuscript request from literary agent Suzie Townsend. Contestants are asked to write a 140 character pitch/summary of their completed novels. Today's the day we post the for the world to see.

Here goes:

Title: Effigy
Genre: Epic Fantasy
Word Count: 195,502

Queen of a land succumbing to a once dormant darkness, Haleine aligns herself with her husband's enemy to end the evil--no matter the cost.

If you're so inclined, I'd love to hear your thoughts. This is, after all, my first attempt at such a thing.

Once again, best of luck to everyone who has entered. Also, THANK YOU to Shelley and Suzie for hosting/judging this contest.

Come back later today when I post my B post in the A to Z Challenge. Have a Happy Saturday, everyone!


  1. Anyway you can fit in what the "cost" is? It may be more of a grabber. But you've done well for so few words. Sounds great!

    Good luck!

  2. I don't think you need "a once dormant", that's close to back story and the importance is that it isn't dormant any longer. Dropping that phrase will give you more characters to fit in what the cost is. Can you find a shorter word for "succumbing"? That will give you more characters too.

    Haleine, queen of a land falling to darkness, aligns herself with her husband's enemy to end the evil--even if it means losing everything.

    That's 130 characters, but "everything" is still vague. Good luck! This sounds like a great story.

  3. Great pitch. I agree with Pk about the "cost". If you need space, you could tweak the wording a bit. Here's my attempt:

    "To save her land as it succumbs to darkness, Queen Haleine will align herself with her husband’s enemy, (insert cost here)."

    Minus the parentheses, that's about 102 characters.

    It's a small tweak, but overall this is a very strong pitch. Best of luck!

  4. Sounds like an interesting book to read. And very well written for the constraint on your words/characters.


  5. I agree, I'd like to know what the cost is. Will she lose her husband or fall for the other guy? Great start. Good luck with the contest

  6. I dig the pitch! So hard to be so brief ...

    I'd like to a little more about Haleine, but that's about it.

    Good luck!

  7. It's good, but a bit wordy. I don't think you need that the darkness was once dormant. Maybe just "Queen Haleine aligns herself with her husband's enemy to end the evil, no matter what the cost." Definitely an intriguing idea. I'd love to hear what the evil is doing to the land.

  8. It is an intriguing idea.
    I suck at this.
    I did a contest that was a two-sentence pitch and first line. That one was awesome. 140 characters? I tried like 4 different pitches. Everyone was like, be more specific, and all I could think was I ONLY HAVE 140 CHARACTERS!!!

    One thing I've learned from these contests though is that on two of the three I've done lately, the agent has asked me to query. That in itself, to me, is as good as a win.

    Best of luck to you, and your book sounds cool.

  9. THANK YOU EVERYONE for your comments and advice. They are very, very much appreciated.

  10. I'm in. Oh wait, I'm not a judge but I would read it. Very hard to Tweet a pitch. Well done.

  11. Ooh, I very much love this! 140 characters is SO FREAKING HARD!! You've definitely crammed it all in well, I hope it pays off for you! :D

  12. I like this. Gives me chills! Good luck.

    Marie at the Cheetah