Hi. I'm M.J. And I'm addicted to writing utensils.
I hear the first step is admitting you have a problem. But here's the thing: I don't really think it is a problem. Which, sure, is something an addict would say but I'm a writer. I need writing utensils like I need oxygen. Maybe even more than I need oxygen.
Well, maybe not.
Still, I could be addicted to far worse things than pens and pencils. All right, so The Man can't stand the idea of me taking an unchaperoned trip to an office supply store out of fear of what exactly I'll come out with this time. But at least I'm coming out of the office supply store with writing utensils and notebooks (another post for another time, I suppose, although I would like to mention how much I am in love with Staples Sustainable Earth line of notebooks) and not laptops or whatever else they sell at office supply stores (honestly, I don't often get past the pens and notebooks aisles).
The point is I like writing utensils. I have quite a variety of them. I find I need a variety to keep up with my writing moods. This is going to sound crazy-- and I own that-- but some pens don't go with some moods. Some days I need a purple pen. Others are a black or blue ink day. Some days have to be in pencil. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to my madness (I would be shocked if there was). It's just the way it is.
The important thing the
poor souls lucky people surrounding me have learned is to not mess with whatever writing utensil I happen to have selected that day. This lesson usually comes after the poor soul lucky person accidentally picks up my pen and writes something mundane with it. A grocery list, for example or a merchandise restocking list. Then, when I see it happen (and I always do so don't think you can get away with it), we have the following completely insane rational conversation:
Me: Did you just use my pen?
Me: You did. You used my pen. And you used it to write what exactly? Oh, that we need milk? We need milk that badly that you had to go ahead and use my pen?
Them: Well, it was just-
Me: It was just what? Tell me what it was.
Them: Lying there. It was just lying there.
Me: Oh, so you thought you would just pick it up and write 'milk' with it? Do you have any idea what you've done?
Them: I really don't.
Me (shaking pen): This is my special writing mojo pen and you have just ruined it. I will never again write anything brilliant with this pen and it's all your fault.
Them: It's a just pen.
Me: I don't even know you.
Well...you get the idea. It's insane, I know, but I'm a little
crazy quirky the way some writers are. So just know that if a writing utensil is lying anywhere in the vicinity of one of my notebooks that it is OFF LIMITS and we'll get along just fine. Nothing to it. Easy peasy.
I thought I'd end today's post with a list of my top ten favorite writing utensils. This list is constantly evolving as I stumble across new pens and pencils but here's where things stand today:
10. Mechanical Pencils. They're great and I really like them. They just don't write as nicely in my current notebook. Hence the demotion.
9. Bathtub Markers. Yep. You read that right. Bathtub markers. Perfect for getting down those shower epiphanies. Even if they may have possibly turned my grout blue. Blueish.
8. The pens Heather and I
stole found abandoned at the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas. Those pens write really nice and I would consider planning another trip out to Vegas just to steal find more.
7. Pilot Precise V5 pens. Especially the pretty colors like purple and teal.
6. Pilot G-2 clicky top gel pens. Especially the pretty colors like purple and teal.
5. Papermate Silk 1.6B clicky top pen. I first found this one when signing a credit card slip at a local restaurant. I resisted the urge to steal it and instead made The Man drive me to every store in the valley that would possibly sell pens. When I couldn't find them, I special ordered them off the internet. I find they're good for brainstorming. I wrote my synopsis with these pens. Drawback- they sometimes leak. But I will gladly suffer that for a decent synopsis.
4. Sharpie Clicky Top Pens. Especially the purple ones. Pretty!
3. Santoro Tutti Cuti "hippy chick" pen. I
stole discovered this pen just lying around all unattended at work one day and wrote some pretty awesome stuff for my 2009 NaNoWriMo project with it. I have been obsessed with it ever since. Of course, it's since run out of ink and I can't seem to find a replacement for it anywhere. I even did a Google search that turned up nothing. Sad.
2. Sharpie Fine Point Pen. This used to be my absolute favorite pen. Especially the purple ones. I have an entire pen case full of them and once wrote a poem extolling their wonder. Sad. I know.
1. Pilot Varsity Fountain Pens. I don't remember how I came across these. It was probably during one of those unchaperoned office supply store visits. Love how these write. Plus, it comes in purple. A huge bonus in my world.