Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Schmoe Versus The Snow

It's snowing today in the Mount Washington Valley.

Normally this wouldn't be anything to blog about because what else does it do in the Mount Washington Valley in the dead of winter, right? But this isn't a normal year. This is, I believe, only the third time we've had measurable snow in the valley since November. That's right...until today, it snowed more in freakin' October than in January.

This anomaly has made for a very happy Joe this winter. After our fight over the heat ends, he starts grouching about the snow and doesn't stop until May when, generally it is no longer snowing but the insult he feels whenever Mother Nature does dump on us is still fresh.

A few years back, we had the snowiest winter on record here in the Valley. There was so much snow, it was all one could see when looking out our sliding glass doors. We actually had to use our snowshoes to get around the yard and carve steps into the snowbanks lining our driveway in order to get into the yard so the dogs could go to the bathroom. That was the winter we spent a good amount of time on the roof shoveling it off. That was also the winter Joe's car was trapped in the garage (a very poorly designed nonfunctional structure) because the plow guy, in a complete act of idiocy he has never duplicated, dumped a bunch of snow in front of it. Snow that then froze solid and took us a couple of months to wear down low enough to get the car back out of the garage.

Thanks, plow guy.

Right now, I am watching my plow guy try and dislodge his truck from what was once my retaining wall. I'd like to say I'm surprised by this but I'm not. He seems to drive into it at least once every season. I'm not sure why he thinks it won't be there year after year but it does always seem to catch him off guard. But, with luck, this will be the last winter we have that issue. I am, of course, referring to the Garage Project of myth and legend. The one what will turn our bizarre oddly designed one car garage into a shiny, new, useful two car garage. The one talked about in reverent, hushed tones. The one we've intended to do for ten freaking years now and yet, never actually get done.

But anyway. That's a different blog post. This one is about Schmoe and the snow. Or lack thereof.

This year Joe's been so pleased with the lack of weather that we've all been convinced that he has actually developed the powers to control the weather.

(Sorry, everyone south of here. I'm almost positive he doesn't actually have these powers.)

We call them the "Precipitation Prevention Powers" or PPP for short (and also because saying 'PPP' makes us giggle like we are seven). Joe even nicknamed himself (although he will flatly deny this if asked) "Professor Terrible" (you know, instead of Dr. Horrible). I will say, however, that his evil laugh could definitely use some work.

As could his PPP. I mean, come on...have you seen the snow today?

And on that note...I'm going outside to shovel. Again.

Everyone be safe today!!


  1. Nice to know city workers are dense when it snows all over the country!

  2. Jupiter giggled. But she is seven.

  3. It wasn't the city workers who took out my retaining wall. Nope, it was the guy we specifically hired to plow our driveway. He always does such a bang-up job...

  4. Laughing snort. Bang up job indeed!