Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Christmas Quote Quiz

I think the title says it all. You know the game and you know the rules. I'm going to post some of my favorite quotes from some of my favorite Christmas movies and television specials and holiday themed episodes. Your task, should you chose to accept it, is to identify the speaker and the show/movie. If you're an overachiever interested in bonus points, feel free to include additional information (such as the situation in which the quote was uttered) that might tickle my fancy. I'll announce the winner (provided there is one) in a couple of days and the winner will win a fabulous prize. Well, all right, so that's not true. The winner will receive bragging rights and the knowledge that he or she, much like myself, probably watches entirely too much television.

A couple of things to know before you begin...the first: there are a couple of repeat answers because there were a couple of quotes that were just too good to leave out and second...Actually, I don't know what the second thing is (I was distracted by an episode of Veronica Mars...you understand, I'm sure).

Have fun...and good luck.

1. Uh oh. Sounds like someone needs to sing a Christmas carol.

2. -You have to look at what a gift says to the other person, not to you. Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume?
-Okay, to me that said, "Hey Mom, you work hard, you deserve something fancy". Now to my mother, it said, "Hey Mom, here's some smelly sex juice, the kind I use to lure boys with", and resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer.

3. One kid thinks that Santa Claus gets into the house at Thanksgiving and hides in the laundry hamper until Christmas Eve.

4. Nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus.

5. I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love.

6. Whoever heard of a skinny santa?

7. -What are you doing for Christmas?
-Being Jewish.

8. What's she cooking? A canary?

9. I must stop this thing! Why, for fifty three years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming...but how?

10. How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What's next, rabies shots for the Easter bunny?

11. -Christmas is a wonderful time of the year. Everyone has a lot of fun.
-You mean they get in fights?
-No, no- they have fun!
-Fights are fun. I like fights.

12. No man is a failure who has friends.

13. Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.

14. Who the hell is the guy and why do I care if he has a merry Christmas?

15. The line waiting to see Santa Claus stretched all the way back to Terre Haute. And I was at the end of it.

16. I'd like to be a dentist.

17. All right, who keeps telling people I want snow globes for Christmas?

18. In some ways, you're far superior to my cocker spaniel.

19. I need you. Friends don't let friends photocopy their butts at company Christmas parties.

20. You know, I didn't even realize it was December. Maybe when we get home, we should decorate the rubble.

21. We're going to have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny f&@king Kaye!


  1. 1- Elf
    5- A Charlie Brown Christmas
    6- Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
    9 - How the Grinch Stole Christmas
    12- It's a Wonderful Life
    15- A Christmas Story
    16- Rudolph again!
    17- Psych!!!!

  2. 1. Elf - Buddy
    3. Christmas Eve On Sesame Street - Kermit - in this one, Bert and Ernie do their own version of an O. Henry and the Muppets ice skate.
    5. A Charlie Brown Christmas - Linus
    6. Rudolph - Mrs. Claus
    9. How the Grinch Stole Christmas - The Grinch
    12. It's A Wonderful Life - Clarence
    15. A Christmas Story - Older Ralphie narrating
    16. Rudolph - Herbie
    21. Nat'l Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - Clark Griswold

    I'm guessing I don't watch enough TV.
    Thanks for the fun!

  3. Alex, I love that you not only knew the answer to #17 but that you also added four exclamation points. Awesome.

    Ava, you may not watch a lot of TV but you're currently in the lead...