First, the answers:
1. Pivot! Pivot!
This is said by Ross in an episode of Friends where he's trying to move into an apartment and they're having some trouble getting the sofa up the stairs. Apparently, the boys in Joe's office say this one a lot. Why, I don't know. They don't move a lot of furniture.
2. I painted a tunnel on the side of the library. When it dries, I'm going for it.
This is said by Abed in a recent episode of Community when asked if he thought if the campus was becoming increasingly more cartoonish. I really can't recommend this series enough.
3. Keep your brainwaves off me.
Chris March says this to one of his fellow competitors (I think it was eventual winner Christian Soriano but I'm honestly not sure) in season four (the last great season, in my opinion) of Project Runway.
4. I'm tearing up more than Michael Landon during a sweeps week episode of Little House on the Prairie.
Sue Sylvester gets credit for this gem of a quote, spoken during Glee's first season. I suspect she was not be genuine.
5. More goo to go!
Bob Newhart said this on the absolutely beyond hysterical Thanksgiving episode of The Bob Newhart Show (the one where he plays the shrink). This is the one where the guys are alone for the holiday and get really drunk and order lots and lots of Moo Goo Gai Pan.
6. The Brothers Grimm were over in the corner yelling, "No way!"
Lorelai says this to her daughter, Rory, in the fourth season of Gilmore Girls. This is from the episode where Richard's mother dies. It's one of my favorite episodes of one of my favorite shows.
7. Do you think it's 'cause we're awesome? I think it's 'cause we're awesome.
Supernatural. Dean says this to Sam in relation to why demons are trying even harder than usual to kill them.
8. This is just a knock off of the other knock off of the original knock off of that other show.
Shawn Spenser says this about the reality television show "American Duos" in a very funny episode of Psych, guest starring Tim Curry.
9. You have so many unsolvable problems. Like your mouth. It looks like someone kicked a hole in a bag of flour.
This was recently said to Liz Lemon by Jack's assistant (whose name I cannot recall) in an episode of 30 Rock.
10. We're in the middle of a war and you're taking orders from a school teacher?
Bad Ass William Adama says this to his son Lee Adama in the opening mini series of the remake of Battlestar Galactica. They were talking about Lee taking orders from Bad Ass Laura Roslin, the secretary of education turned president of the colonies.
11. Are you telling me that not only did you invent a secret plan to fight inflation but now you don't support it?
This quote comes from a highly quotable show, The West Wing. This is the episode "Celestial Navigation" which is one of my favorites because it's so damn funny. The President says this to his Deputy Chief of Staff, Josh Lyman, in reference to a press conference snafu.
12. Jesus is not a zombie!
This appears in the New Orleans episode of Bones in which Booth and Bones discuss voo doo and Christianity. Booth takes offense at Bones's assessment that Jesus, who rose from the dead, is kind of a zombie.
13. I can take umbrage, I can take the cake, I can take the A-Train. I can take two and call me in the morning but I cannot take this sitting down!
Captain Hawkeye Pierce says this in the classic series MASH.
14. You're not...Moby, are you?
Ted Mosby (architect) says this in the New Years episode of How I Met Your Mother where the gang is driving around in a limo attending five different parties and pick up some creepy guy who looks like Moby.
15. I saw their production of 'Giselle' in 1890. I cried like a baby. And I was evil!
This is said by Angel in the episode "Waiting in the Wings" in the series "Angel" when he take the gang to the ballet where hijinks ensue and we meet Summer Glau. David Boreanaz's second quote in this quiz.
16. You want to wager the fate of millions of people on the outcome of a poker game?
This is arguably the hardest quote here because the show on which it appears was not on the air very long and wasn't written by Joss Whedon (therefore ensuring that it had a massive cult following). It's said in the defunct show Flash Forward when two characters who believe they are responsible for the series starting global blackout play poker to determine whether they go public with that belief.
17. I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion.
The Big Bang Theory's Sheldon Cooper. So so glad Jim Parsons get himself an Emmy because he is the only reason I watch that show.
18. This mission better involve me seducing the head cheerleader.
Bad Ass Wallace Finnell says this to our much missed heroine Veronica Mars. I miss this show. I think I'll have to start watching the whole thing over again.
19. You two are the two who are the two. I'm the other one.
One of my all time favorite quotes from one of my all time favorite shows. Willow says this to Buffy and Xander in the season four episode "The Yoko Factor" during the scene where Spike has successfully manipulated the Scooby gang into a big fight. I quote this so much that even Joe says it from time to time. It makes me so proud.
20. I get it. You're terrified of small talk and birds. You're just luck that pigeon didn't want to chat you up about the weather.
Said by Cameron to Mitchell in the first season of Modern Family in an episode where a pigeon inadvertently gains entrance to Mitchell and Cameron's home on a day when Cameron wasn't home. Trust me, it was hi-larious.
And there you have it, all the answers to all the quotes.
We had three contestants in this quiz but there can only be one winner and she is on a roll. You know who I'm talking about...
Congratulations, Alison. 11 out of 20 quotes correct. And since you won last time, you already know that you get to pick the next game (whenever I get around to writing it). And yes, it will involve the collective works of Joss Whedon. Buffy, Firefly, Angel, Dollhouse AND Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog.
Better start studying now, kids...