Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Whatever's Wrong With You Is No Little Thing

Okay, Smarty Pants...Name That Reference! (Actually, I don't suspect this one will be much of a curveball for you.)

Remember that blog I was telling you about the other day? The Mark Reads Twilight blog that had me laughing my ass off? I finished reading it last night. Never mind the fact that I had intended to pull an all nighter so I could work on my WIP as it has reached my sieve of a mind that it's freaking July and I only have four more months to finish Second Nature and somehow ended up on the Mark Reads Twilight blog page instead. Don't know how that happened. But however I ended up there, I stayed there until I'd gotten through his review of Breaking Dawn which is the one I'd really been waiting to read because it was the book in the series to which I was the most violently opposed. He was pretty opposed to it too. One of his chapter summaries/reaction pieces was a letter written to Stephenie Meyer from the character of Renesme (Bella and Edward's little half human/half vampire spawn) and it had me laughing so frakking hard, I was forced to stop taking normal breaths and settle for big loud gasps. And since this happened at about two o'clock this morning, I am also forced to apologize if I woke you up, Joe. But it was really funny.

The other really funny one (besides the reaction pieces to the big Bella/Edward sex scene and Renesme's birth) was when William Shakespeare also took the time to write Stephenie Meyer a letter, calling her out on her terrible writing techniques. And again, I apologize, Joe, if I woke you up. But it was really funny.

Mark repeatedly wondered how this book, and the three before it, were published and how on earth an editor let that tripe get past him or her. He was also very put out with Meyer's portrayal of women (I was rather bothered by it too) as evidenced by how horrible she is to her female characters.

So this made me worry about what Mark might say if he was reading my books. Would he demand that my license to create fiction be revoked as he did with Meyer? I mean, I like to think that I have created strong, independent female characters but Stephenie Meyer thought the same thing, you know? Haleine, the main character of Effigy, starts off strong and determined before I throw everything including the kitchen sink at her and then she falters and spirals into a depression state (you know, to put it mildly). Is that bad? SPOILER ALERT (SKIP DOWN TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU WANT TO AVOID IT...REALLY THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!!) She spends Second Nature clawing her way back.

Likewise, the character of Cate in Second Nature quite efficiently has her ass handed to her and while she threatens to give up and pack it in, she never does. Or at least she hasn't yet. The book isn't finished so I guess I can't testify as to what she'll actually end up doing but if she stays anywhere near my current story arc, she'll stay strong. She'll kick ass and take names and make several witty and slightly sarcastic comments while doing so.

I tried to figure out exactly what my characters (female and otherwise) would do last night after I stopped reading Mark Reads Twilight (Now Mark is reading the Harry Potter series and I'm very interested in finding out how he feels about that. I'm curious to find out how I'll react if he doesn't absolutely revere it like I do.) and obsessing over what Mark might think of my own work long enough to get back to my work.

And somewhere along the way, I actually lost a chapter and I seem to be lacking the brainpower (hence the title of this blog) to find the damn thing. I'm starting to suspect it just doesn't exist and I made a wrong notation somewhere along the line. That's what I'm working on right now. You know, besides writing this blog. I also had a really good laugh as I looked over my notes from last night and saw the following chapter description scribbled down:

Chapter Forty: Dana does something.

Oh? So he does something? Well, that'll certainly make for scintillating reading then, won't it?

Though, come to think of it, it's probably better than the alternative. Just ask Mark. I mean, I'd lost count of the number of times he opened a chapter review with "In Chapter X, nothing happens."

So at least my characters are doing something, right?

Anyway, back to the fight. Stay cool.

Jimmy Fallon, I heart you.


  1. Cool Runnings!

    Ok, now onto the other stuff. At least you're writing or even contemplating writing, unlike myself whose had a huge motivation hiatus.

    And give those characters hell. It's good for them.

  2. Ava, congratulations. I'll be sure to get your bonus points to you right away.

    And whatever else I am doing, I am writing. Recently after writing this particular entry, I decided to damn the torpedos and write the story the way I'm going to write the story and if people don't like it, well then, they can go read Twilight. Or something else.

    We'll see how far that gets me.