Sunday, February 28, 2010

Parlez-Vous Olympics?

I will give major ultra mega bonus points to whomever can name the movie this blog's title references. I want to give a hint but I don't want to make it too easy. If no one can guess correctly, I'll drop a hint then.

Anyway, yeah. So the Olympics are ending today. The closing ceremonies are scheduled for tonight and no one, I think, is happier about this than Joe. I've been spending a lot of my free time the past two weeks watching whatever random event happened to be on. Including curling.

Especially curling.

I really don't know anything about curling. It seems like it's shuffleboard on ice. but my god, is it funny to watch. And yes, by that I mean "funny haha." Sorry. I know I run the risk of insulting a lot of people (provided any of those people read this blog) but I just find it funny.

The only thing funnier than watching curling is listening to the curling commentators. These people and their hard core Midwestern accents love curling the way I love the Red Sox or Patriots. Whenever one of those curlers sliding the stones (I don't know if they have a special name...pitchers? Hurlers? Sliders?) made a mistake, the commentators resembled me jumping up and down on my couch screaming "What the frak were you thinking?!?!?"

But aside from my new found love of curling, I also watched a lot of other events. It seemed as though I watched the same Nordic combined race at least three times. There was the regular hill event, the big hill event (they may have had another name for it), the individual event and the team event. And a team event on the regular hill and a team event on the abnormal hill and so on and so forth. Congratulations to Johnny Spillane for winning three silver medals for the United States, the very first medals ever won in Nordic combined by an American. This is the part where I would also congratulate the American who won a gold medal in one of the individual NC races but I can't remember his name. I apologize for this egregious error.

Watched some of the bobsledding. I seemed to have missed most of it which is unlike me because I. Love. Bobsledding. I think I have to lay the blame on Disney's masterpiece Cool Runnings.



I think I've told you this before but my younger sister and brother and I used to play bobsledding. We grew up in Maine. We made our own fun. Our mother had (well, still has. I don't think she'll ever be able to get rid of it.) a love seat and we used to use it as our sled. We were very ingenious children. Or perhaps we just ate too much paste. I guess we'll never know. Anyway, we love bobsledding. At least my sister and I still do. I don't know how deep my brother's affection for the sport runs.

So yeah, I missed a lot of the bobsledding but I did happen to tune in last night to watch the USA win its first bobsledding medal in sixty whatever years. Woo Hoo!

I think Joe vastly preferred the bobsledding to the figure skating. I didn't watch as much figure skating as I did in the years when Michelle Kwan was still competing. But I watched the ladies' free skate and was wowed by Kim Yu-Na. I tuned in to watch the pairs free skate because I really liked the team that ended up with the gold. I even watched some ice dancing although that particular discipline makes me giggle. I mean, come on. They have a move called a twizzle. That's funny. I caught the tail end the men's free skate. I've never been able to take the men's competition entirely seriously. I remember Paul Wiley back in 1992 did a program to the music of Schindler's List and that I found to be rather moving, but mostly, men's figure skating makes me giggle. They're amazing athletes, don't get me wrong on that, they're just wearing silly costumes.

Unlike the snowboarding team. I loved the denim looking ski pants the men were wearing during the half pipe competition and snowboard cross. I also loved Shaun White, after his first run had won him the gold medal, and he was left to contemplate what to do with his second run. "I dunno," he said. "Maybe board down the middle?" I even loved the inadvertent dropping of an F-bomb on live television by one of the coaches. But Shaun went ahead and did a full out second run. I also have to give a shout out to Maine native Seth Wescott and his second gold medal in snowboard cross.

Speaking of New England natives, we in New Hampshire had a few athletes representing our little state, among them Bode Miller from Franconia and local hometown girl, Leanne Smith. I unfortunately didn't get to see any of her races. NBC had a habit of showing Lindsay Vonn and Julia Mancuso but I never managed to catch Leanne. We also had a snowboarder but he's from southern New Hampshire which is practically Massachusetts, right? Just kidding.

I also spent some time watching speed skating. Both short and long track. I especially liked the short track. A friend of mine called it "NASCAR for the upper class" which I liked. What a wild and crazy sport. Did you see the video of JR Selski and the injury he sustained at the Olympic trials? The kid cut himself with his own skate and if he had done it a couple of inches in the other direction, he would have bled out in ten seconds or whatever.

Yikes.

I am currently watching the men's hockey gold medal game. USA against Canada. I normally don't watch hockey on television. I'll watch it live, but I think it loses something on the boob tube. But this is the marquis event, right? I doubt Al Michaels will be saying "Do you believe in miracles?" (mostly because he's not one of the commentators) but right now the USA is losing so who knows...maybe we'll hear it yet.

All right...I'm wrapping up this blog so I can fully focus on the game and I just have to give you a hint (because I know how much you care) so here it is:

Toepick!

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