Friday, October 23, 2009

In Which Ruthie Goes On A Tear: Hell Week Comes To A Close


I'm so far behind in laundry that the only work appropriate jeans I had left to wear are three sizes too big. Joe had to wear his flannel lined jeans because he too was out of clothing. He said something about the need for clean clothing. I asked him when he expected me to do it...while I was at work, while I was at my parents' house last night or while I was driving home from my parents' house last night.

Went to Dunkin' Donuts this morning because it was feeling like a double chocolate donut kind of day. Had a small heart attack when I thought they didn't have any but it turns out, they were just in the corner where I couldn't see them. Because I'm a (somewhat) nice person, I bought an old fashioned donut for Ruthie.

Then I went and sat in the parking lot while I waited for Assistant Manager Heidi to arrive. I haven't punched in on time yet this week because whatever manager is opening is late. Today I punched in seven minutes late which, for Assistant Manager Heidi, I guess isn't bad. The closing crew left the stockroom a huge mess. That sort of thing does not make Ruthie very happy (nor me but I was leaving at noon, so I cared less) so I worked really hard to try and clean it up before she showed up.

Not quite successful. Ruthie arrived and was instantly pissy about all the backstock left all over the place for us. Like we don't have enough to do, she said. She then went on a swearing spree which made no sense whatsoever but included the phrase "mother fucking cock sucker".

This made me giggle. When Ruthie asked what the hell I was laughing at, I had to say, "Yesterday, you asked me if a song my iPod was playing contained the F-word and today you're all 'mother fucking cock sucker'...I just didn't know you had it in you."

Then Assistant Manager Heidi came out to the stockroom to yell about the fact that one of her closers had called out sick. Both she and Ruthie seemed to be having some sort of competition to see who had it worse. I tried to diffuse the situation by offering to sing some selections from Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog as that always cheers me up but they declined my offer.

But after Assistant Manager Heidi left to return to the sales floor, Ruthie confessed that seeing someone uglier than her made her feel better.

We're such a charitable group.

Lazy Susan, another sales associate, arrived late because her truck ran out of gas and she had to walk to work. She's late for every shift. It's never her fault. This always makes Ruthie irritable. Today she expressed her irritation in four letter words.

So, a happy camper was I when noon time finally rolled around and I could hightail it out of that store. I came home to a mound of laundry bigger than I am and a stack of every dish we own, all waiting to be washed.

I've also been keeping a watchful eye on Marie's house. No one is home at the moment, but if I see her car pull into that driveway, I am closing every up tight and pretending I am not home. I am washing my hands of her and that entire situation. Joe's sticking with the let her have her own way route. But I won't have any part of it. No way, no how.

Though it probably will be nice next summer when I can lay in my hammock and actually be bathed in sun and not pine needles and/or acorns.

No. Must. Stay. Strong. Marie. Evil. Must. Resist.

P.S....I feel the need to make a clarification from earlier in the week. First of all, when I run screaming around the house that there's a tick on whatever body part there's a tick on, I am not naked. Second of all, I may have inadvertently indicated that the Store got the better part of the deal when I asked to get out of work early on Thursday so that I could attend Jupiter's rockin' party. What I meant to say was that I wanted to get out of two hours. The Store, in exchange, got ten hours. So, hourwise, they got the better part of the deal. It was, of course, entirely worth it so I could share some Hannah Montana ice cream cake with my niece on her birthday.

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