Wednesday, May 6, 2009


I kind of hate my computer.

It all started with that stupid sneaky-ass virus from last week or whenever. Everything was fine up until then. Everything was fine until I had to let Joe de-virus the computer. Since then, everything's kind of sucked.

First of all, I can no longer watch my favorite television shows online. I liked to watch Chuck, The Office and 30 Rock on NBC's site. I think I've mentioned that before...I don't have enough DVRs or VCRs to tape it live and never worried about it because I could just watch the damn episodes online but whenever I try and watch the video using Firefox, the damn thing doesn't work. Fine. Whatever. I'll wait for the DVDs, or summer reruns, except networks never show summer reruns anymore because that's when they put out their stupid summer reality dregs programming. Except for So You Think You Can Dance. That show frakking rocks.

Second of all, I can no longer manage to download mp3s from Amazon. I love downloading music from Amazon. Just ask my credit card statement. I tried to download some Iron & Wine songs the other day and it didn't work. It said I needed to download some mp3 downloader thingy so I clicked on the button that said "download now!" only, apparently, "download now!" doesn't actually mean download now. Instead it means, "Haha! This is a dead end!"

I am starting to suspect Joe of tampering with my computer all in the name of the credit card statement.

Except then there's the third thing, and I don't know what's up with that. My friend, the tortoise, who's reading my book (yeah...the one I spend time being mad at more than is likely healthy) sent me chapters. I mentioned that in my last blog. He send me a chapter and it had only the one suggestion/correction so minor, I honestly didn't know why he bothered. Well, remember when I said I asked?

Come to find out, there have been other comments made but now, for some reason, I can't see them. I saw them before in little thought bubble like things in Word. Chapter Eleven was the last one to have them. Chapters twelve, thirteen and fourteen were thought bubble free. My friend reported that chapter twelve and fourteen had maybe a handful of comments but thirteen had a "shit-ton."

I did not find this to be at all encouraging.

But I told him not to worry about it because I didn't know what to do about it. I don't know what changed between chapters eleven and twelve but something did (Though Joe doesn't think it's anything he did...thought bubbles do not affect the credit card statement.) and trying to fix it just seems like entirely too much frakking work so now I am living comment free which is fine except the more I think about it, the more I'm curious about what a shit-ton actually is.

But thanks to my frakking techno-woes, I'll likely never know. Stupid frakking technology. Lure us in with your shiny convenience and then take it all away. I hate change. I hate adjusting. I hate downloading things that never download. I hate Firefox. I hate Windows Explorer. I hate the Internet.

I also hate the phrase "shit-ton" as I cannot imagine any possibilities in which that is a good thing.

Anyway, I'm off to go live a low-tech day at the local library. I am desperately trying to re-create the success I had while sitting around a dealer's waiting room waiting for my car to have an oil change.

Viva la Internet-less!

P.S...I do recognize the irony of my railing against technology, the internet and Firefox on my blog with which I am writing with the aid of technology, the internet and Firefox.

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