Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009 Resolution Review

Well, it's that time of year again. We're coming up on the final hour of 2009 and I have really officially run out of time to try and complete these goals. Here's the rundown on how I did this year. The goals themselves are in italics and my analysis will follow.

1. Create a submission packet for Effigy. This includes the dreaded synopsis of which I have only written two paragraphs. But they're really good paragraphs. Once this packet is created, I will start submitting the submission packet to agents and editors who will, I am sure, fight tooth and nail to get me.

Well, this one I did. Query letter, synopsis and all. I don't know that there's much else to say about it than that.

2. Write Second Nature. My fans demand it. All three of them.

Well, all right. I didn't do this one. I started it at least, so that's something, right?

3. Create a Lingo drinking game. I don't know why no one's ever done it before. This is a show that screams drinking game.

I did this one as well. I never actually got around to posting it on my blog though. Probably because my attempts to try out my drinking game led to alcohol poisoning...

4. Make 2009 the last year I work in retail. Thirteen years is quite enough. For anyone. I realize this will mean an end to the workplace blogs, but I'll find something else to write about. It's what I do.

Well, considering I spent the majority of my day today folding 600 pairs of men's jeans, I don't quite think I accomplished this goal.

5. Read more nonfiction. Since I very rarely (shamefully, even) read any now, this goal should certainly be do-able.

This I accomplished. I didn't read a ton of nonfiction, but I definitely read more than I have in years past.

6. Be less sarcastic. Good thing this will be my last year in retail...I think it'll help immensely.

Oh, come on. This one was really more a pipe dream anyway.

So, overall, three out of six isn't too awfully bad. But maybe I can do better next year...I guess we'll find out in starting approximately fifty seven minutes.

Happy New Years, one and all.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

December 2009 Book Report

Taboo- Susan Johnson- A nice trashy romance novel to kick off my post NaNoWriMo existence. God, I love her books. It’s just one elaborate sex scene after another with some semblance of a plot thrown in in between. Super fun!

The Hunger Games- Suzanne Collins- Wow. Just freaking Wow. This is an amazing freaking book. It’s probably the most intense book I’ve read in a good long while and the first since probably Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows that I just literally couldn’t put down. If you haven’t read this book, you really should. Just have a big block of time set aside for it just in case…

Catching Fire- Suzanne Collins- August will be a long time coming. Must. Have. Third. Book. Now.

City of Bones- Cassandra Clare- The first in the Mortal Instruments series. This came recommended by a friend and so I read it. I didn’t like it as much as Suzanne Collins’s novels, not by a long shot, but it’s an all right read.

City of Ashes- Cassandra Clare- The second in the Mortal Instruments series. I hated, hated, hated what Clare did to poor Simon. I hated, hated, hated the constant “he’s dead! No, wait, he isn’t. No, he’s dead. No, wait, he isn’t” Simon’s too good a character and while I suppose I am happy that they finally landed on the “no he isn’t” side of that debate, it’s still asinine. And I am also concerned about the Clary/Jace thing. Book Three better straighten that out and post hasty, because, like I said, it’s concerning. Big props, however, to the scene where Simon reads the “Coming Out To Your Parents” pamphlet. Hi-larious.

City of Glass- Cassandra Clare- The third book in the Mortal Instruments series. They resolved the Clary/Jace thing at least. I can’t decide if I liked this series or hated it. But it did get me to go out and buy all three books (the last in hardcover because it isn’t available in paperback until this summer) so maybe whether I liked it or not doesn’t matter. I liked most of it. There were parts that felt too juvenile to me, which is probably dumb to say given that it’s an young adult series but I’ve read a lot of young adult fiction and not all of them have those moments. Suzanne Collins’s novels, for instance, did not have those moments. This series did.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Christmas Vacation

I hope everyone had a successful holiday, whatever it is you celebrate.

The Gator Girl started the holidays off early when she decided to break into the gifts I had wrapped for the other dogs in our life and pick through them for the stuff she'd rather not give away. She stole tennis balls from Sonny and Piper and completely took (and hid) Mindy the Rat Terrier's present. Mindy had a box of milkbones and a stuffed cat toy. I didn't realize it was missing until Christmas morning when Mindy didn't have a present under the tree from us.

Still haven't found it.

In addition to her criminal activities, the Gator Girl seemed damn determined to land herself in the emergency vet's clinic. On Wednesday, she busted her way into a box I had been sure was gator proof (Note to self: nothing is ever gator proof.) and helped herself to a cookie tree present my godchildren had made for both her and Big. It was three milkbone biscuits tied with ribbons and glued to a construction paper tree. It was cute. And when I wasn't looking, it ended up (ribbons and all) in the Gator Girl's stomach. Now we're on poop patrol. Nothing says 'Merry Christmas' like having to dig through piles of dog shit to locate ribbons.

The ribbons, by the way, are still MIA.

Then, Christmas morning, in her rush to get out of the house and into the car (she's always concerned we're going to leave without her), she slipped on the ice and hurt her back leg. The Gator Girl doesn't often feel pain. Or, at least, she doesn't show that she feels pain. A few times, she's cut her pads while playing ball, but she's so focused on playing ball that she doesn't act hurt and you don't know anything's wrong until you notice the bloody footprints all over your once white rug. After her fall on the ice, she wouldn't put any weight on her back leg. It still didn't stop her and her one track mind from running to the car because she was still worried about being left behind.

She seems better now. Right now, she's amusing herself by running around the house, trying to find things to get into to, things that will make me get up from this desk so I can go and steal back whatever she's taken.

So yeah, we had a good holiday. We had some good laughs with both sides of the family and ate entirely too much food. We were sent home with a ton of sweets with which I am now gorging myself and I spent yesterday on the couch watching my new Alias DVDs, the Incredible Dog Challenge (Yea, diving dog Malinois champion!) and Patriots football (Yea, AFC East Champs!!!).

But today it is back to work. However, Joe is on vacation this week.

I am not. Not really.

Of course, I'm not actually leaving the house (much) to work (although I have to work a whole eight hours at the store this week...spread across two days, of course). I'm sitting at my desk in my office, trying to write a couple of scenes I've had stuck in my head for a few days now. The holidays robbed me of time to write them down properly so I scribbled some notes and swore to get back to it as soon as I could.

And that's today. Or at least I hope it will be today.

But Joe's on vacation and he doesn't know what to do with himself when he's on vacation and at home, so he spends his time wandering around the house and periodically coming into my office to see what I'm doing.

"Whatcha doing?" he asks nearly every time.

"Working," I say. I am nice enough not to say "wishing you were working today."

Sometimes he comes in and sits on the daybed and watches me type. Which I find to be highly annoying. But he generally doesn't stay long. He just pops in to interrupt my train of thought, pat the dogs (because they both hang out in the office with me, even if Joe's home), ask some asinine question and then go back to the living room.

"Why is there white stuff falling from the sky?" was the latest question.

"Because we live in New England and that's what happens in December?" I ask.

Granted, yesterday it was forty degrees and it rained all day. But today it's much colder and we're due to get about five inches of snow. What's that old saying about New England? If you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes?

It's a saying for a reason.

He's on the phone right now. Dollars to donuts, it's the office. That's another of Joe's vacation traditions. Spend lots of time on the phone with work helping them fix things that went wrong. When we were in Las Vegas last June, he got a couple of phone calls at 4am, Vegas time, from the office. I was particularly less than thrilled by those calls because we'd only gone to bed a couple hours earlier.

But hey, at least now he has something to do.

Happy New Year's, everyone.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Exchange Of The Day

I went out to do the last of the holiday shopping this morning and stopped in to pick up Chinese food for Joe and me for lunch. It was a bribe to get him in a good enough mood to do all the wrapping this afternoon. We have a tentative agreement. I do all the shopping, he does all the wrapping. He's much better at it than I am. His wrapping actually makes boxes look like boxes whereas my wrapping makes boxes look...messy. So I ordered him Chinese food.

While they were preparing our order, I went over to Burger King to pick up a cheeseburger for the dogs. They love Burger King cheeseburgers. Big would like it noted that before he had a stupid little sister, he used to get a cheeseburger all to himself but now he has to share his cheeseburger with his stupid little sister. But anyway, the exchange of the day is courtesy of the drive thru lady.

"Welcome to Burger King," she says. "Can I take your order?"

"Yes. I'd like a plain cheeseburger please," I say, resisting the urge to say "I don't know. Can you take my order?"

"Plain?" Drive Thru Lady asks. "Nothing on it?"


"Would you like bacon on it?" she asks.

"No," I say, resisting the urge to add that if I had wanted a bacon cheeseburger, I probably would have asked for a bacon cheeseburger.

"So just a plain cheeseburger?"


"Would you like to add fries or maybe a drink to your order?"

"No thank you," I say.

"How about cookies? Would you like some cookies? Three for a dollar!"

"No thank you," I say. "I'm really all set."

"So just the cheeseburger," she asks.

"Yes," I say. "Please."

"Okay. Your total will be $1.31 at the first window."

"Thank you," I say.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Somewhere An Ent Is Plotting My Demise...

So, for the last week and a half, the arborist has been here cutting down trees which mean that, for the last week and a half, the dogs have been barking in an attempt, perhaps, to protect me. I say that because one afternoon when Joe was home with them during the tree cutting hours, they very seldom barked. But when I'm home with them and Shane the arborist is doing his thing, tweedle dee and tweedle dum bark. And then bark some more. I am currently writing this blog with my headphones on because I just can't listen to it anymore.

Shane and his one man crew show up every morning between 9 and 10 and work until about 3pm. On Monday, Shane came and plowed part of my back yard so he could move the industrial chipper into it. So he and his guy were parked right outside my office windows which meant there was no work getting done that day. They were also parked right outside my bathroom window which meant I really didn't want to take a shower in my bathroom that morning. It just felt weird so I had to go upstairs and use Joe's bathroom. I don't like using Joe's bathroom because it's cold, damn freaking cold, but it's also on the second floor and closer to the bedroom so I figured it would be less weird. But when I went, wearing only my towel, into the bedroom to get dressed, I found myself looking right at Shane who was in the process of de-limbing one of the big pines and looking right into my bedroom window back at me because I had opened the shades that morning when I got up.

Shane waved. I waved. Then I closed the shades.

"Maybe you should've dropped your towel," Joe said when I told him. "Maybe we could've gotten a break on price then."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the man I consider to be the love of my life. If only I could remember why that is.

Anyway, the price to which Joe referred is the $300 we are now in for on this project because Joe asked Shane how much it would be to take down two giant pines we always worry about falling on the house during a bad storm. Shane said that since he was already here doing the work, he'd take them both down for $900 but would take just the one closest to the house for $600. We decided to pass but apparently, Shane mentioned this to Marie who then offered to split the cost of the two trees with us. Shane told me this, and quoted me a price of $300 (guess he forgot he quoted us $900 for two) for the removal of both trees. Joe and I said yes to this. Seemed kind of like a no-brainer.

Today they appear to be taking down the two big pines. They showed up at 8am with the logging truck on which to load all the trees they've been dropping and leaving in my yard. The dogs and I just watched Shane shimmy up the biggest pine (the one closest to my bedroom windows) and attach a rope to it so I assume it's coming down next. It's cold today and rather windy so I imagine it's a fantastic day to be cutting down trees but I'm really hoping the earlier arrival and the appearance of the logging truck means that this will be the final day.

Not that Shane and his one man crew haven't been great. Oh. The house just shook. I'm guessing that means the biggest pine is now history.

This is a good sign. Trees are coming down and being loaded up, never to be seen again. Please, oh please, let this be the last day.

My head thanks you.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Holiday Favorites, Part Two

Here are some more of my favorite holiday shows and songs and whatnot. I didn't want them to be excluded. I'm sure I'll think of more later. Anyway, here's part two of the list:

Christmas Eve on Sesame Street: What could be more fun than songs and muppets and muppets singing songs? In this 1978 classic, Big Bird is worried that Santa won't be able to fit down the chimney. Cookie Monster keeps trying to write a letter to Santa but ends up eating whatever he's doing. Bert and Ernie reenact The Gift of the Magi and Grover and Kermit talk to kids about Santa.

How The Grinch Stole Christmas: The animated version with Boris Karloff's narration. Not the live action version starring Jim Carey.

Charlie Brown Christmas

Trans Siberian Orchestra: Joe loves this band. I am, I guess, more or less indifferent about them, but I love their Christmas music. Check out this video where someone programmed their Christmas lights to the music:

I also found a clip (thanks, youtube!) from the He Man/She Ra Christmas special I talked about in the last entry. Unfortunately, the embedding code was disabled so I can't post the clip here. I can, however, post the link which is:

It's about a minute and forty seconds long and include the scene I referenced before ("You mean they get in fights?") so check it out if you get the chance because it's classic.

I did find a clip of Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye lip syncing to "Sisters" that did have the embedded code available so here's that for your viewing pleasure:

Holiday Favorites

So I am newly back from my first holiday get together of the season, drove home in a snowstorm and am now watching Elf so I thought I'd write a blog about my favorite things...the holiday edition.

Let's start with movies:

1. Elf starring Will Farrell. I don't always like Will's movies but I love this one. Buddy getting hit by the cab, Buddy hitting all the floor buttons in the elevator, the Etch a Sketch note (sorry I crammed eleven cookies in the VCR)...the whole damn thing is hysterical. I can't watch it too many times. Joe would like to disagree.

2. White Christmas starring Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye and Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen. That scene where Bing and Danny lipsync "Sisters" is just freaking hysterical. Great music and dance and humor. Don't blink or you'll miss it one liners.

3. It's A Wonderful Life starring Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed. Though it wasn't intended as a Christmas movie, it's a great holiday treat.

4. Scrooge, the 1970 musical version starring Albert Finney as the title character. The music is a lot of fun. The honorable mention goes to Disney's A Christmas Carol.

5. A Christmas Story: Although I can't watch TBS's twenty four hour marathon, I'm good for at least one viewing. You'll shoot your eye out, kid!

Television Specials

1. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: I was watching this just last night. Loved all the "Let's get the women home" talk. Plus, I heard tale that the doll on the island of misfit toys is on the island of misfit toys because she had psychological issues...Yikes!

2. In Excelsis Deo, The West Wing, season one. This is the Christmas episode where the homeless vet dies and has Toby's card in his coat pocket. This episode established a longstanding tradition of holiday episode excellence from this series.

3. Noel, The West Wing Season Two, the episode where Josh is experiencing some post traumatic symptoms.

4. The He-Man/She-Ra Christmas: Don't know if you've ever heard of this one but it's very bad in an awesome way. There are two human kids (Alicia and Manuel or Miguel) who are kidnapped by Skeletor for some reason and along the way, the troublesome tots teach Skeletor the true meaning of Christmas. And there's a puppy. It's hi-larious! Check out this section of awesomely bad dialogue:

Manuel/Miguel: `Christmas is lots of fun. We get presents and we do a lot of fun things.'

Skeletor: `You mean you get in FIGHTS!'

Alisha: `No we do FUN things.'

Skeletor: `But fights are FUN.'

5. The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis, The Big Bang Theory Season Two. This episode is most notable for the very end where Penny gives Sheldon a napkin signed by Leonard Nimoy. Jim Parsons's reaction is absolutely priceless.

Holiday Music

1. The Twelve Pains of Christmas: This song cracks me up, especially the guy rigging up the lights when, at the end, he's all "You're so smart, you rig up the lights!"

2. O Holy Night: It's just pretty.

3. O Come All Ye Faithful: Another one of my favorites to sing

4. O Come O Come Emmanuel: See above.

5. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer: This makes the list because, my senior year of high school, we had a German exchange student stay with us and, one day, in the car, this song came on and my mother said, "Oh, have you heard 'Grandma got run over by a reindeer' to which our exchange student said "Oh no! She did?" And hilarity ensued!

Before I close, I'd also like to give a special shout out to the Christmas scene in the first Harry Potter film where Harry and Ron are tiny and adorable and Harry's all excited that he actually has presents. Too cute!

Anyway, that about does it for me tonight. But tell me: What are some of your favorite holiday things?

Saturday, December 12, 2009


So I went into the local Borders Express the other day to attempt some holiday shopping. I wandered down to the young adult section where one employee was engaged in helping a customer select some Ellen Hopkins novels for someone. They were also standing in front of the books for which I was looking so I was standing around waiting patiently for them to move.

When the lady took her purchases to the register, another customer, a man this time, swooped in to ask the employee a question.

"What's a good book for a sixteen year old girl who is an avid reader?" he asked.

I really wanted to raise my hand and jump up and down going "Oooh! Pick me! Pick me!" But I didn't.

"Do you know what she likes to read?" the employee asked.

He didn't. But he had picked up a copy of Stephenie Meyer's novel The Host. I resisted the urge to gag.

"Oh yeah, that's a great book," the employee said then.

At this point I resisted the urge to say "What, are you kidding? That a great book? Seriously? Have you even read that book or are your standards just that low?" But I didn't.

She went on to explain how it wasn't a part of the Twilight series because there have been some people who have bought it thinking it was the fourth Twilight book.

"They're also making it into a movie," she finished.

I didn't actually know they were making it into a movie. I hadn't heard that. Then I resisted the urge to snicker.

"Okay," the man said. "What else?"

"Umm," I said. "Excuse me..."

Here's what a sixteen year old avid reader should be reading (If she hasn't read them already):

Speak and Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson which I firmly believe are two of the most important books teenage girls could read. The Host is so NOT one of those books.

They should also read books by Ellen Hopkins. Crank, Burned, Tricks, Identical...any of them. Really. Each one of those books is such an unique experience. The way that woman manipulates language in order to create setting and mood and character is unreal.

Suzanne Collins's novels The Hunger Games and Catching Fire are fantastic and feature a sixteen year old girl in some extraordinary circumstances. Plus, they're addictive. Once you start them, you can't put them down. The story just grabs hold of you and won't let go. I stayed up for about three days straight because I just couldn't stop reading them. The only drawback is that the third installment won't be out until August.

If she loves the supernatural, she should read Holly Black's modern faerie tale series Tithe, Valiant and Ironside. Or Cassandra Clare's Mortal Instruments series. Lisa McMann's novel Wake and Fade are another good example.

But please, please, whatever you do, don't get The Host.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

And So It Goes

I am missing November.

And it isn't just because I am now looking out the window at a near foot of snow when, just a week ago, we were sitting pretty with some sun and near seventy degree weather. I live in the mountains of New England. Snow is sort of inevitable this time of year.

I am, however, a little miffed at my plow guy right now. My plow guy who has yet to appear to plow the near foot of snow currently filling my driveway. Not to mention the more than knee deep snow at the end of the driveway, courtesy of the town plow. (Side note: How is it the town plow never seems to leave snow at the end of anyone else's driveway? How is it always mine?) Joe, even with our all wheel drive vehicle, barely got into the driveway this evening and only managed that because I had gone down and shoveled out an opening for him.

Note to my plow guy: I did not pay you a butt load of money so I could shovel out the end of my driveway after a freaking snowstorm drops a foot of the not so fluffy white stuff. If you can't be bothered to show up in a timely fashion, give me my damn money back and I will find someone who will. And yes, I already have someone in mind.

The someone is the arborist (Shane) who spent both Monday and Tuesday taking down the trees. Or some of the trees, I should say, because there's still a lot to come down. He started with the little pencil thin trees Marie wanted taken down because she was afraid they might grow (not sure what trees do on whatever planet she happens to be from but they apparently don't grow because she's always surprised when that happens.). Then he started on de-limbing the bigger trees. Today he took off because of the snow. That part was nice because it gave me a rest from the incessant barking from the Dynamic Duo who started barking at 9am on Monday morning when they noticed Shane the arborist and Shane the arborist's assistant tromping around our yard. The dogs stopped barking at 3:30 that afternoon when Shane and his assistant called it quits for the day. The fun resumed at 9am the next morning. Today, like I said, was quiet, but I fully expect them to start up right at 9am tomorrow when Shane is likely to reappear.

Shane also plows driveways. He mentioned this to me the other day and asked if we had a plow guy already. I said yes because I thought we did, in fact, have a plow guy. But apparently, when you sign a contact and send in a check to a plow guy it doesn't necessarily mean they'll show up. Jackasses. Shane told me that if our guy flaked on us to give him a call.

Man must be psychic.

But anyway, Shane is doing a wonderful job. If we ever have any further tree removal or landscaping needs, we'll totally be calling him. Even if he's afraid to come in the house. Just because he's met by a 130 pound German shepherd barking its head off and the only thing standing in between them is a baby gate precariously leaning against a doorway. Whatever...

So yeah, I'm missing November.

Another facet of this is that my creativity level has dropped off sharply so far this month. Joe says it's because I don't have a website telling me how many words I need to write each day and no graph depicting how far behind I am. He then offered to create such a graph for me. I turned him down because I have no set goal this month so I wouldn't know what to put into a graph. I'll probably take him up on that offer in January though because I have a definite writing goal then (to finish Second Nature).

Plus, there's this whole impending Christmas thing.

Has anyone else seen that commercial where this guy tells people to schedule pap smears for the women in their lives as a Christmas present? The first time I saw it, I actually had to reach for the remote and rewind the commercial so I could watch it again and confirm that that guy (I have no idea who he is) really did say 'pap smear' and 'Christmas gift' in the same sentence. Then I had a moment of disbelief where I couldn't believe it was a real, actual serious commercial and not some kind of Saturday Night Live spoof. Now, I don't need or expect anyone to buy me a present of any kind but even I have to think that a pap smear appointment isn't really a great gift. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a visit to the gynecologist. For Valentine's Day, maybe I'll get you a mammogram.

I'm surrounded by people who are knocking off their holiday shopping in one swoop (or one phone call to the gynecologist...) and I'm floundering big time. I just don't have the drive or desire to go out and do any. I can't even bring myself to shop online. Don't know where my Christmas spirit has gone to but I hope it comes back soon because, damn, I have a lot to do.

This Saturday I have to bake cookies. My mother has an annual holiday cookie swap party where everyone brings two dozen of two different types of cookies. Then you, like the name suggests, swap cookies so everyone goes home with an array of an insane amount of cookies. The problem is I have to bake cookies. This is a problem because I (a) do not bake and (b) I am afraid of eggs (sad but true) and refuse to even buy them which really limits my cookie making abilities.

But fortunately, I have a very excellent friend who comes over and helps me with my pathetic-ness. Heather is not afraid of eggs because, really, what sane person is, right? She's coming over on Saturday after she gets out of work to help me bake cookies. And by 'help me bake cookies' I pretty much mean 'bake cookies for me'. But I totally give her full and complete credit for it because I sure as hell don't want anyone thinking I can bake.

Because I can't.

I did, however, tell Heather I would make her dinner. Anything that she wanted. Well, anything that she wanted that I could make. Which probably means macaroni and cheese because, really, I don't know how to make much else.

My goodness. This blog really does seem to be exploring the reaches of my pathetic-ness, doesn't it?

So I guess on that note, I'll sign off for the evening. Maybe I'll go see if the USA network is replaying Elf starring Will Farrell (possibly my favorite holiday movie ever) and see if I just can't recapture some holiday spirit.

Until next time...

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Television Week In Review (Week Ending 12/05/09)


Legend of the Seeker: Thanks to NaNoWriMo, I am now two episodes behind. Will try to get caught up soon.

The Amazing Race: I hate the brothers. They are a pair of dicks. With a capital D. I am also disappointed that Big Easy couldn't systematically work out the challenge and instead chose to sit on a step in Prague for four hours. I am hoping Meghan and Cheyne take it next week. They seem to be the most high functioning of the group but I will not be sad if Brian and Erica end up with the top prize. Just anyone but the Brothers Dick.


Monday Night Football: Pats at the New Orleans Saints: Well, I do not know who those guys in the Patriots jerseys were but they certainly were NOT my beloved Pats. What the hell was that, guys? Seriously?

House: This episode focused on Wilson, which was a nice change of pace. It was a great episode too, I thought. I hear there's an episode coming up with focuses on Cuddy. Interesting. Also interesting is that Jennifer Morrison (Cameron) is still in the opening credits but has left the show. Does this mean she's coming back or they're just not going to bother altering the opening credits. Kind of sucks for Peter Jacobson and Olivia Wilde though.


So You Think You Can Dance: This was kind of a boring show tonight, I thought. Thank goodness Jakob and Ellenore had that Sonja Tayeh piece otherwise I think it would've about been a complete wash out for me. Curious to see who America's going to dump.


So You Think You Can Dance Results: Nathaniel and one of the girls is out. I don't remember if it's Noel or Catherine because they're kind of the same person to me. This is probably not a nice thing to say but it's true.

Glee: Get ready to sell some mattresses! Oh my God. The scene where Will finds out about Teri's fake pregnancy was INTENSE. I'm really looking forward to next week's fall finale.

The Middle: Are you watching this show? Because I really think you should be because it's hi-larious! Those three kids just kill me every damn week. Joe says Brick is his favorite but I think Axel is mine. Loved the part where Frankie (via voiceover) said that "Axel didn't pretend to commit suicide once!"


Bones: How gross can this show get?? The three boys waiting in line for good seats was funny if an overly annoying and blatant advertisement for Avatar. Like we don't already know what it is. Give it a rest. I also enjoyed Angela's face when she saw the tattoo on Jack's arm and heard the story of how it got there.


Monk: The series finale. Thought the wrap up of Trudy's murder was a little rushed and I totally called who did it and why. Go me. I also liked the little montage at the end.


Robin Hood: Didn't get a chance to watch it. Thank goodness for my DVR.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

NaNoWriMo Excerpt: The Meet Cute

The following is an excerpt from my NaNoWriMo project, originally titled Choose Your Own Adventure. It is currently does not have an official title but its working title is When Vinnie Met Ellie.

The scene you are about to read is the "meet cute", the scene where the heroine and hero meet for the first time. The heroine is Lavinia Pryce, nicknamed Nia, or Vinnie. The hero is Llewellyn, nicknamed Lew, or Ellie. They meet at a bar where Lavinia (along with her roommate Susannah) is celebrating her newfound unemployment.

Hope you enjoy it...and just remember...we weren't supposed to edit anything and I didn't.

“This seat taken?” a man’s voice asks a while later.

I don’t look up. “Does it look like it’s taken?”

“No, but I didn’t know if maybe you had a boyfriend-“


“Or girlfriend-“

“Oh, how very progressive of you.”

“Maybe using the facilities or something.”

“No,” I say, looking up finally. “That seat’s not taken.”

He’s tall with short dark hair and blue eyes. He appears to be the textbook definition of ‘tall, dark and handsome’. He has some stubble on his face. He’s wearing a tee shirt and jeans, both of which do a lot to promote his athletic build. He smiles at me as he slides onto the stool. His teeth are very white and very straight.

“So you’re here on your own then?” he asks as he signals to Frank.

“Just me and my friend, Jack.”

Frank comes over and my newfound, yet entirely unwanted, companion asks for a beer. Whatever’s on tap. He’s not picky. Frank pours Sam Adams. When the new arrival receives his pint, he throws some money down on the bar and takes a swig of the beer. Frank looks at me as he gathers the money. It’s a look I’ve seen before. Is this man bothering you, Nia? I shake my head slightly. Nothing I can’t handle. Frank nods and turns to the register.

“Jack?” the tall dark stranger asks as he sets his beer down.

Not too bright, this one. Probably gets by on his looks. He probably makes women everywhere crazy with those well muscled arms of his. He then dazzles them with his baby blue eyes and easy grin and (likely) washboard abs so they don’t notice his total lack of wit. Too bad for him that I’m immune to such manipulation.

I indicate my glass. “Jack. As in ‘Daniels’?”

“Oh,” he says and then looks at his beer. “I feel a little emasculated right now.”

“Do you?” I ask, not caring. “Frank? Can I get another, please?”

Frank nods and prepares my whiskey sour. He puts it down in front of me. I do not throw any money on the bar and Frank walks away to the other end of the bar.

“Frank?” the man asks.

“The bartender.”

“Oh, come here often?”

“Wanna know my sign next?” I ask. “Look, if you’re trying to pick me up, I’m not interested. Save us both some time and hassle, you know?”

“Who said I was trying to pick you up?”

“You certainly seem like you’re trying to pick me up.”

“Just making conversation.”

“Just checking.”

“I think I may have stumbled on to why you’re here alone,” he says.

“I’m sitting here at this bar alone,” I say. “But I am not alone in this building. I have a friend-“

“Besides Jack?”

“Who dances,” I say and point over my shoulder in the general direction of the dance floor.

“She’s over there.”

He looks over his shoulder. “You don’t dance?”

“Haven’t had enough to drink yet to consider it.”

“So you’re one of those.”

“Whatever that means.”

“So touchy,” he says. “You always like this?”



“What do you care?”

“Are you new to the concept of conversation?”

“I didn’t ask you to sit here.”


“Nor did I ask you to converse with me,” I say. “In fact, I think I’ve done quite a lot to discourage conversation.”

“Also true.”

“And yet,” I say.

He grins. “Here I am.”

“Yes, here you are. So, what are you? A glutton for punishment?”

“Not especially.”

“Lose a bet?”

“Not that I recall.”

“Someone put you up to this?” I ask, looking over my shoulder to see if Susannah is having a good laugh at my expense. She isn’t. She’s thrown herself into a very energetic, if slightly intoxicated, version of the Robot.

“You mean like a Taming of the Shrew thing?”

“He knows Shakespeare,” I say, feigning shock.

I choose to ignore the fact that I have been just likened to a shrew. It isn’t the first time, after all. It isn’t even the first time this week.

He shrugs. “He knows of Shakespeare.”

“Last book you read,” I say. “What was it?”

Da Vinci Code,” he says.

I mime vomiting over the side of the bar. Frank is not amused.

“Not a fan then, I take it,” my sparring partner says.

I tap my nose. “And a prize for the gentleman.”

“What was the last book you read?”

“You don’t want to play this game with me.”

“Oh,” he says. “Must be embarrassing.”

“And why must it be that?”

“You faked vomiting when I mentioned Dan Brown,” he says. “I expected to hear Proust or Tolstoy or something equally snooty come out of your mouth. Your reluctance to answer leads me to believe you last read something just as frivolous as-“

“Geoffrey Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales,” I say. “In the original middle English.”

“A bit of light reading then. That’s nice,” he says. “You wouldn’t lie to me about that, would you?”

“Why would I lie to you?”

“An attempt to maintain your supposed intellectual superiority?”

Supposed intellectual superiority?” I echo. “No, see, you’ve gone and misunderstood me. You’re working under the assumption that I would care enough about both you and your opinion of me to go to the trouble of lying. And I don’t. Care enough, that is. So, no. No, I wouldn’t lie to you.”

He laughs. “You know, I don’t know why but I kind of like you.”

I laugh at this. “I don’t know why either.”

“Can I ask your name?”

“If you’re asking me if you’re capable of forming the words which will form a sentence inquiring after my name, I think the answer is ‘yes’. I don’t know you very well but I have faith you could handle it.”

“If I asked you your name,” he says then, “would you tell me?”

“Ah,” I say. “Now there’s a valid question.”

“And the answer?”

I look him over and have a sip of my drink. “Nia,” I say after a minute. “My name is Nia.”

“Nia,” he says. “That’s nice. Unusual though.”

“It’s Welsh. Means ‘Bright’.”

“Put a lot of store in the meaning of names?”

“A rose by any other name,” I say.


“What’s your name?”


“Like short for Lewis?”

“Like that, yeah,” he says.

He looks over his shoulder again.

“Am I keeping you from something? Someone?” I ask. “Wife? Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Your mother?”

He shakes his head and looks back at me. “I’m flying solo tonight.”

“Left your entourage at home, did you?”

“I don’t really know how much of an entourage it is,” he says. “No wife, no girlfriend.”

“Boyfriend then.”

“No boyfriend,” he says. “Although that’s very progressive of you.”

“I do try to keep an open mind.”

He snorts into his beer. “I do have a couple of friends.”

“Sam Adams and your man, Bud?”

“A couple others too,” he says. “But they’re spending the evening with their wives and girlfriends.”

“Wives and girlfriends?”

He shrugs. “They like to keep an open mind.”

“An example for us all,” I say. “And your mom? She had plans tonight too, huh?”

“Yes. To watch Jeopardy! with my father.”

“In the same room?”

“Sitting on the same couch even. They just might hold hands.”

“You’re the product of an unbroken home?”

“Strange, but true.”

“So, what’s wrong with you?” I ask.

“What’s wrong with me?”

“Yes,” I say. “Wrong with you. You’re good looking, you’re nice, fairly literate-“

“Fairly literate?”

“And yet, entirely single, apparently straight and free of any emotional baggage,” I say. “So what’s wrong with you?”

“Fairly literate?” he repeats.

“Are you a serial killer?”


“Would you tell me if you were?”

“Probably not.”

“Are you a time traveler?”

He smiles, trying to conceal his confusion. “No.”

“Secret government agent?”



“No,” he says. “But not for lack of trying.”

“So you’re delusional.”

“No more than any other comic book fan.”

“Ah,” I say as though I have just discovered gold in them dar hills. “Comic book fan.”


“Live in your parents’ basement?” I ask. “Have a closet full of Star Trek costumes?”

"Star Wars,” he says. “And no.”

Now I smile.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asks.

“What makes you think something’s wrong with me?”

“You’re good looking, kind of nice-“

“Kind of nice?”

“A literature snob-“

“Well, yes, I am that.”

“And yet entirely single, apparently straight, yet broke from excess emotional baggage fees,” he finishes.

“And you still have to wonder what’s wrong,” I say.

“Maybe I’m just trying to be polite.”

“This is you trying to be polite?”

“Is this you trying to be polite?” he asks.

“Who says I’m trying to be polite?”

He smiles again and even laughs. “No one within earshot.”

“So tell me then,” I say. “What’s your story?”

“Why should I tell you?”

I shrug. “I’m asking,” I say. “What, are you unfamiliar with the concept of conversation?”

“And what will you do with my story?”

I shrug again. “Probably judge and mock you unfairly.”

“At least you’re honest.”

“Well, you are a Star Wars fan. A certain amount of mocking is inevitable.”

“Not at a sci-fi convention.”

“This look like a sci-fi convention?”

He takes a look around. “No,” he says. “Not enough pointy ears.”

“You really are a glutton for punishment, aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” he says. “So tell me, what are you celebrating?”


“You seem to be celebrating something in your own twisted sort of way,” he says, indicating the emptied and overturned lowball glasses in front of me. “I’m curious to know what.”

“What will you do if I tell you?”

“Judge and mock you unfairly?”

Now I laugh. “I joined the ranks of the unemployed today.”

“Your idea or theirs?”

“Mutual, really, in the heat of the moment, but if anyone asks, theirs.”

“Probably not budget cuts then.”

“More like insubordination.”

“I’m shocked.”

“Everyone is.”

He takes a sip of his beer. “What did you do before the insubordination got in the way?”

“Taught English to a group of adolescent ingrates.”

“Well, that explains the Chaucer,” he says.

I laugh.

“An insubordinate English teacher?” he says next. “Don’t they usually make inspirational movies about you?”

“Not when you refer to your students as adolescent ingrates,” I say. “Sends the wrong message.”

“Molding young minds,” he says.

“Unfortunately no,” I say. “I didn’t use any swear words they didn’t already know.”

“Missed opportunity, that.”

“I know. You can really learn from those kids.”

Lew laughs again. “What are your plans now?”

“I’m going to get rip roaring drunk,” I say. “Then I shall sleep it off.”

“And after that?”

“Thought I might try to improve my own best minesweeper scores. Maybe play some online poker.”

“Going to try and parlay that into a career?”

“Tempting, but no,” I say, finishing off my drink. I turn the glass over and leave it next to the other ones. “I hear the professional scene is really cutthroat.”

“Thought that might be right up your alley,” he says. “Another round?”

He doesn’t wait for me to respond before signaling to Frank.

“Another for me and the lady,” he says.

I snort. Frank obliges and pours another pint. He mixes another whiskey sour and passes it to me. I toast him with the glass.

“Thanks, barkeep,” I say.

Frank rolls his eyes at me and walks away.

“Gotta love a girl who can shoot the whiskey,” Lew says.

“Country music or American Idol fan?” I ask.

“I can’t be both?”

I wince. “A country music fan,” I say, shaking my head sadly. “Well, that explains the Da Vinci Code.”

“I lose some points just then?”

“You are, of course,” I say, “now working under the assumption you actually had points to lose.”

“Apparently so.”

“This must be very sad for you.”

“Certainly isn’t going the way I thought it might.”

“Oh, pray tell, how did you think it would go?”

“Not like this.”

“How wildly vague of you,” I say. “Care to be more specific?”

“I think I’d rather plead the fifth, if you don’t mind.”

“Are you a lawyer or just a fan of courtroom dramas?”

“Neither, actually,” he says. “So you’re currently looking for employment?”

“Well, not right at this moment but yeah,” I say. “Since I’m not independently wealthy, I’ll probably have to find something else to do with my life. Bills to pay and all that. You understand, I’m sure.”

“No, I don’t, actually,” Lew says. “I happen to be independently wealthy.”

“Independently wealthy men do not spend their evenings talking to hostile women in smoky dives such as this,” I say. “No offense, Frank.”

Frank holds up a hand as he passes. No offense taken. Frank’s cool like that.

“You know that for a fact?” Lew asks.

“I do,” I say. “I read a lot, you know.”

“I don’t remember that lesson showing up in The Wife of Bath’s Tale.”

I am kind of impressed by that reference but I work hard to keep from showing it.

“Well,” I say. “Maybe you weren’t reading closely enough.”

“No doubt,” Lew says. “Will you look for another teaching position?”

“Probably not,” I say. “Different location, same problems.”

“What then?”

“Again, I am forced to ask why you care.”

“Don’t, really,” he says.

“Just making conversation?” I ask.

Lew doesn’t have the chance to answer as Susannah bursts onto the scene. She slams into me hard enough to cause me to spill my drink down my front. I swear and reach for a napkin with which to blot whiskey sour. Susannah doesn’t notice and stands there, hanging off my shoulder.

“You drink enough yet to come dance with me yet, Vinnie?” Susannah asks.

Lew’s eyes narrow slightly.

“Not by a long shot,” I say.

“Well, what have you been doing this whole-“ Susannah starts.

She stops when she sees Lew. She smiles and looks him up and down. He smiles back.

“Oh,” she says then. “So that’s what you’ve been doing.”

“No one is doing anyone,” I say.

Susannah pushes between us so she can belly up to the bar. She calls for Frank to make her another martini. Lew leans to his right so he can see me.

“Vinnie?” Lew asks.

“It’s a nickname,” I say. “Don’t your friends have a nickname for you? Boba? Jango? Vader? Jar Jar?”

“Jar Jar?” he asks. “Oh, because you find me to be annoying?”

I grin and nod.

“You know,” Lew says. “For someone claiming to not be a Star Wars fan, you sure seem to know a lot about it.”

“I do watch TV and I don’t live in a cave,” I say. “Are you not answering my question because your nickname is embarrassing? Or is it because your friends who are not beers are actually uncreative imaginary types?”

He smiles and looks away.

“Embarrassing then,” I say. “Do tell.”

Lew sighs. “They call me Ellen.”

“Ellen? Like the talk show host?”


“Because you’re a lesbian?”


“Because you love to dance?”

“I love to dance!” Susannah proclaims as she pulls back from the bar, martini in hand. “So let’s get to it, Vinnie. You can come too if you want, Ellie.”

“Ellen,” he corrects.

“Because that’s so much better,” I say, grinning.

Lew grins back, looking slightly sheepish. The music starts up again. It’s playing some ABBA. Dancing Queen. It’s a sure sign that Susannah has been flirting wildly with the deejay. Susannah squeals with delight, downs her martini and puts the empty glass back on the bar. She bounces past both Lew and me.

“Vinnie, come on!” she cries.

I start to slide off my stool. “Well, Ellie,” I say. “It’s been a blast but I’ve gotta go. They’re playing my song.”

“Thought you looked like a dancing queen,” he says. “Maybe I’ll see you again sometime.”

I spread my hands. “I should be so lucky,” I say as I walk away.

© 2009 by Melissa Jordan

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Exchange Of The Day

Scene: I am cleaning out one of The Store's fitting rooms that looks like a bomb filled with clothing went off in it. I was just eating a triscuit cracker and started to choke a little bit on the little bit of the cracker that went down the wrong tube.

Enter The Customer, looking to try on a sweater.

Customer: You're not getting sick, are you?

Me: No, no, I'm not sick. I'm just choking on a triscuit.

Customer: Oh good. (and proceeds into the fitting room)

Thanks for your concern, ma'am. Have a great day.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Another Lesson Learned: The Management Strikes Back

As it turns out, when one throws a temper tantrum at work over the prospect of having to stay late, the management can and will retaliate by removing one completely from the schedule the following week.


Well, live and learn, kids. Live and learn.

November 2009 Book Report

All right, so it turns out that when you spend an entire month trying to write a novel you may not have a lot of time to read other novels. Here's what I managed to accomplish:

Tuck- Stephen Lawhead- The third in his Robin Hood series. I loved this series, I really did. This book took a little while to get going (though not sure if that was because of the writing or just because it had been so long in between volumes) and then was very good, building up to the big final battle and all and then…there wasn’t one. Tuck managed to make peace between the two sides and I was left wanted a little more. I guess I shouldn't be sad there wasn't some major bloodbath but...I guess I am.

Bird by Bird- Anne Lamott- This is a book on writing that a fellow aspiring writer friend of mine suggested to me. I’m glad I read it. And I’m glad I read it this month too. The first part of it seemed to read like a “How To” NaNoWriMo handbook. The rest of it was just me on paper. I spent a lot of time saying “Oh my god! I do do that! How did you know?” and stuff like that. It made me laugh, it made me cry (at work even…how embarrassing!)…a must read for anyone who wants to write.

Monday, November 30, 2009

NaNoWriMo Wrap Up

Well, it's official. I am a winner of the 2009 NaNoWriMo. I officially submitted my manuscript at 5pm EST and was declared a winner with 52,209 words.

So now what do I do?

Well, blog about it, of course, right?

It was a crazy experience and really, I can't wait until next November so I can try it again. I never thought I would manage to hit the 50,000 word mark way back at the beginning of the month when I started out on this journey. Nor did I think I would ever want to do anything with this manuscript come December 1st but, you know what? I like my story a lot. Well, I like parts of it a lot and I think I really want to try to turn it into a viable project and not just an experiment in shitty first drafts.

I am guilty of not writing an ending for the book because I don't know how it ends yet. But fortunately for me, the NaNoWriMo people, nor their word counting robots, care about that. I hit the magic word count number and that's all that matters.

The story also took a turn I didn't see coming. I was just writing this scene toward the end, just kind of trying to use up words and all of a sudden, it just...changed.

I love it when that happens because I think it's just damn cool but at the same time, I hate it when that happens because I am left a little slack jawed and thinking "Uh...great. Now what?"

So while I don't exactly have an answer for that particular question, I'm not going to worry about it tonight. No, tonight I am going to watch the New England Patriots take on the unbeaten New Orleans Saints.

But maybe I'll worry about it tomorrow.

Top Ten Things I Learned From NaNoWriMo

1. Sleep is for sissies.

2. I am a sissy.

3. It is possible to write a good 30,000 words without any semblance of a plot.

4. Stories almost always end up somewhere you didn't predict.

5. I cannot bring myself to use the phrase "swollen penis" or "quivering member" or "pulsating manhood." At least not at 3am.

6. I used the letter 'a' more than 12,000 times during the course of my novel.

7. I used the letter 'y' even more.

8. I know I am really getting attached to a story when I start building a story specific soundtrack.

9. I really do love writing dialogue.

10. This was probably the most fun I've had when writing in a long time.

Tune in later this week, kids, to read an exclusive excerpt from my untitled and unfinished and unedited NaNoWriMo Project.

Until then, a good night to one and all...

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Television Week In Review (Week Ending 11/28/09)


NFL Football: NY Jets at Patriots: Now, that's a much better game. Although you were making me a little nervous there for a while in the second half. Thank you.

Amazing Race: It is on like Donkey Kong! The teams go to Prague (which according to the brothers is a country.) and are annoying. I really, really, really want the brothers to go home. They bicker more than all the other teams combined. Plus, they stole Brian and Ericka's cab which was kind of a dick move, guys.

Legend of the Seeker: I haven't watched this episode yet. There are times when I hate NaNoWriMo. This is one of them.


How I Met Your Mother: Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap...need I really say more? This slaptastic show slapsolutely makes me laugh so slapping hard I can't breathe half the time. Eric Slapton. But now, the sad part is, there's only one slap left.

Big Bang Theory: Talk about not being able to breathe. This show is so damn funny. Whoever thought that back in its first season, this would become appointment television? Big shout out to Katee Sackoff who guest starred as Howard's fantasy. Also, loved Kripke's prank on Sheldon and then Sheldon's revenge prank on him.

Dancing With the Stars: So, its the finals which, let's be real, is usually won or lost on the freestyle. Mya, I think, lost because of her freestyle. She should be kicking Dmitry's ass for his play it safe idea. I really think it's going to be between Donny and Kelly. Between the two of them, I hope they pick Kelly because she's always so freaking happy. Plus, Ozzy'll be there!

Castle: Haven't watched it yet. Another NaNoWriMo victim.


So You Think You Can Dance: Legacy and Ashleigh continue to impress as does the work of Sonja Tayeh. Her routines are never, ever boring. Unlike the Can Can. That was kind of boring. Karen and Victor's tango was great and their hip hop routine boring. There were a couple of others that didn't keep my interest enough to make me watch them all the way through.

Dancing With The Stars Finale: Skipped most of the encore dances and both of Whitney's appearances so the show really didn't last that long. I am surprised that Kelly didn't place higher than third because I really thought the audience was in love with her. I am not, however, surprised that Donny walked away with the trophy over Mya because these things are won and lost on the freestyle and he went last and he had a really fun number. Mya, proceed kicking Dmitry repeatedly. That boy lost you a shiny mirrorball trophy.


So You Think You Can Dance Results: Victor and Karen are out. I'm a little surprised they kept Ryan over Victor. But at least none of the women will have to worry about having Victor as a partner next week. Did anyone else notice that all of Victor's partners were kicked off?

The Middle: Thanksgiving at the Heck Household. Pretty damn funny. Loved Sue's boyfriend and her parents' reaction to Sue's boyfriend (Should we tell her? No, she'll figure it out eventually. Or he will.) and Big Mike's listening to the game on tape in the truck. Loved Frankie's drinking and then telling everyone she has to go cry in the toilet and demanding that Mike hold her hair...and then telling the kids she had the flu while Mike told them that drinking was bad.

Modern Family: This episode made me laugh so hard, I first stopped breathing and then cried. Cameron and Mitchell are my favorite couple ever.

Glee: Kurt gives Rachel a makeover which actually repels Finn. Quinn considers keeping the baby and puts the increasinly unlikeable (which is really saying something considering I've never EVER liked her) and babysits with the Mohawk kid who spends the whole time sexting with Santana. We see the reform school glee club and the deaf school glee club. Not my favorite songs by far but still, a fun episode.


Reruns, reruns everywhere.


Monk: Holy FRAK, was that an intense episode or what??? Must see the second half of the finale NOW.


Robin Hood: Another show with another two part series finale and OH MY GOD, they did not kill Allan a Dale! C'mon, first Marion now Allan?? Am so over Robin and Kate. But what will I do when this series has finished?? Guess we'll find out next week.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Crunch Time

So, it's crunch time, otherwise known the last weekend of the NaNoWriMo experiment. It happens to correspond with the busiest shopping weekend of the year which means I have to work. A lot. At least there were no annoying customers today. Unexpected but certainly welcomed. I'm hoping the rest of the weekend goes as smooth.

But anyway, back to NaNoWriMo. The good news is I'm only 5,500 words away from my goal of 50,000 words. The bad news is I have no idea what the hell those words will be.

The story took a weird, unexpected twist and I don't know if I like it or how to write it really. But I still have to write a sex scene (for what is a chick lit novel without a sex scene?) and two dream sequences so I think that might eat up most of my words. The sex scene would have been written a couple of weekends ago but I got so worked up over the Patriots losing to the Colts that I couldn't focus on anything else. And now every time I try to go back to it, I'm only reminded of that disastrous fourth quarter and then nothing gets done. But I'm going to have to get over it now because time's running out.

The bottom line is, sex scene and dream sequences aside, there won't be a definitive end to the book. At least not by the end of the month. But, fortunately, that's not a necessity for the NaNoWriMo people. And pretty typical for my work.

I like this story enough that I think I am going to work on it past December 1st but I don't know when or how much or, you know, anything like that.

All I know is that I have 5,500 words to write and one weekend in which to write them.

I was feeling so confidant earlier this week. Now I'm feeling the pressure.

It's crunch time. So let's get to it.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

For Which I am Thankful...

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and since I doubt very much I shall have the opportunity to blog tomorrow, I am going to write this entry today. It is a list of some of the things for which I am thankful. Thus the clever title. This list isn't in any particular order, nor is it likely to be all encompassing. It is what it is.

I am thankful for my friends, all my friends (Omar! Leah! Everyone in puppy class!) but the following five get a very special mention: Mike and Heidi and Heather and Jacob and Alison. They're the people who most often act as my sounding boards and read everything I write (particularly Mike who gets the honor of reading every draft of everything, for example twenty drafts of a particular synopsis and then the query letter to accompany it.). They're the people who never (outwardly) flinch when I ask a completely out of left field bizzaro question such as "Do you know any interesting ways to torture people?" or "Do you think I should kill a kid" (Important note: I only torture and/or kill fictional characters. And only when the story calls for it. I swear.). I think Mike was the proud recipient of a throat slitting question once and still considers (as far as I know anyway) me his friend. Anyway, I am thankful beyond measure for this support group. Thanks for having the confidence in me I am often times lacking.

I am thankful for my family, the big bunch of specially packaged almonds we all are. I am thankful for my parents for raising me right, for instilling in me independence along with a good solid work ethic and a good sense of morals (I only kill fictional people after all). I am thankful to them for giving me a marathon length stubborn streak and not naming me Prudence or November or Persephone. I am thankful for my siblings, all three of them, even though I spent a lot of time in my youth wishing to be an only child. My foils, my antagonists, my partners in crime, thank you for being my friends and companions on this journey we know as life.

I am thankful for my niece, Jupiter, and for the once in a lifetime experience she gave to me when she joined our family. I am thankful for my godchildren and every moment I get to spend with them. If the children are our future, you three make me think it'll be very bright indeed.

I am thankful for Joe, my significant other. Even though we more often than not bicker like the couple from On Golden Pond. Probably because of it even. I am thankful that he has accepted all the idiosyncrasies that come along with me and my writer-being (how's that for some damn fine writing?). He never (outwardly) groans or gets irritated when I turn the bedroom lights on at two or three in the morning because I have some exciting thought I need to get down on paper. He never (outwardly) groans or gets irritated when I don't go to bed until four or five in the morning (thus causing a billion decibels worth of noise when the dogs either come into the room with me or get up to greet me) because I've been up writing all night. He never (outwardly) groans over my obsession with medieval weaponry. He didn't even get (overly) upset when I (accidentally) put that hole in the wall with my authentic Braveheart broad sword and killed that one shifty looking lamp with my quarterstaff. He didn't get (overly) annoyed when I was rendered incapable of having a trans-atlantic phone call with him when I discovered my most precious writing notebook missing in my Yekaterinburg hotel room. He puts up with my quirks, my (occasional) bouts of bitchiness, my ever growing piles of books, my television obsession, my Dr. Horrible obsession, my Jacoby Ellsbury obsession and countless other obsessions...and even loves me in spite of it all. Thanks, sweetie. You're the best.

I am thankful for my puppies. Although they are often times huge pains in my ass, they're the best damn puppies around. Sure, the Gator Girl is simultaneously the most brilliant and dumbest dog I've ever known with both an energy and anxiety level that far outstrips the rest of us put together. Sure, Big's obsession with marking trees and his refusal to have a bowel movement unless I'm the one walking him, is annoying. Really annoying. But they're still my babies and I love them to pieces.

I am thankful for my job even though the bullshit to sanity ratio is way out of whack. I am thankful to still have a job, no matter how maddening it may be. I am thankful for the insanity that lives in that place if for no other reason than it gives me the ability to write some damn funny (or so you've told me, my faithful few readers, for whom I am also thankful) blogs. Plus, I am thankful that it's a retail experience that requires me to work no nights and very few weekends and spend my time there often thinking about writing.

I am thankful for Sharpie Fine Point Pens. Especially the purple ones. I am also thankful for Joss Whedon. I am thankful that Harry Potter asked to be in Gryffindor and that the Twilight saga is only four books long. I am thankful for macaroni and cheese and chocolate cake. I am thankful that How I Met Your Mother coined the phrase "Slapsgiving".

And I am thankful I will have the opportunity to spend the holiday with my family as well as Joe's family and that we don't have to rush home because I have to work at some ungodly hour come Black Friday. No, this year instead I'm working the late shift (8am, that is...which is late on Black Friday.)

I wish I could write more but I have to go out and brave the madness that will be the grocery store so I can get the much needed items assigned to me to bring for tomorrow's dinner. Hope they're not out of rolls...

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there. Thanks for tuning in...

Monday, November 23, 2009


So I stabbed myself at work today with my box cutter. Now before you panic, especially you, mom, it sounds a whole hell of a lot worse than it really was. It didn't break skin. It didn't even make a dent in my pull over hoodie. But I think it bruised something because, man oh man, is there a spot on my rib cage that hurts like hell.

Guess that's why they tell you to not cut toward yourself. Lesson learned. Well, actually, that's not true. Lesson not learned. I still cut toward myself. Just as I will continue to scale the stockroom shelves without the aid of a ladder. I'm a maverick. Or maybe just stupid. Toss up, really.

I'm also positive that it was an accident and not some sort of unconscious attempt to get myself out of work. But I can't be sure. It was another of those mornings at work. One of those This Place Is A Huge Waste of My Time mornings. I wanted to be home working on my NaNoWriMo project (about which I will talk momentarily). I didn't want to be there processing a shipment containing 61 boxes of mini ice scrapers and a buttload of short sleeved tee shirts.

We don't need short sleeved tee shirts. It's the end of freaking November, for crying out loud. The shirts won't make it to the sales floor until January at the earliest so why do I need to store them in an already crowded stock room until then? Can't the distribution center just send them at the end of December? Or the beginning of January?

By the way, we also don't need 61 boxes of mini ice scrapers. I don't think we ever sell any. People mostly just steal them. So now I need them to steal 61 more boxes of them.

Anyway, moving on...

There is officially one week left in the NaNoWriMo project. According to their word count, my novel should be at 38,333 words by midnight tonight. My novel is currently sitting at 38,901. That's right...I'm actually ahead.

Someone go check and see if hell's frozen over...go ahead. I'll wait...

I still like the story and I'm confident I'll have little to no problem in reaching the 50,000 word mark, which is a far cry from what I was thinking back in the first week of this project. I think I'll need even more words than 50,000 to finish telling the story properly. This is not a problem, according to the NaNoWriMo FAQ's. Good, because I'm confident in saying that I'm going to need them.

I will also need a new title. It's currently called "Choose Your Own Adventure" which was a great story for the original concept (what little there was of it...) but now the story has evolved, as stories sometimes do, and the title really doesn't fit anymore. I have no idea what I'll call it though. That, however, I am less concerned with.

I was browsing the website last night and stumbled onto a list of published books that came out of the NaNoWriMo experiment. The one that really caught my attention was Sara Gruen's novel Water For Elephants. I haven't read it yet but keep meaning to borrow it from my sister to read it. I want to do just that even more now, knowing it's a NaNoWriMo baby. Her novel Flying Changes was also a NaNoWriMo baby, back in 2005.

Pretty neat.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Television Week In Review (Week Ending 11/21/09)


NFL: Pats at Colts: Fourth and two on your own 30 yard line and you go for it? Bill, seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? Why do you insist on blowing a huge lead in the fourth quarter to our freaking arch nemesis??? Of course, I totally own the fact that had that play been successful, I would be worshiping you right now.

The Amazing Race: The teams take a slow boat to Estonia where they visit a secret brotherhood of merchants and show just how damn smart Americans are (what's a candlelabra?). Gary and Matt get to experience the saunabus too. Then everyone goes to play volleyball in some serious mud...the experience I think made the brothers a little too excited or something because CBS was using some serious blurring there. I also think the Globetrotters should have just picked up Sam and Dan and tossed them off the boardwalk into the bog.

Legend of the Seeker: The new season's second episode. I love the addition of Mord Sith Cara. Is it just me, or is this season a lot darker than the first season? I mean, lots and lots of throats were cut this episode...and all those scenes in the underworld? Yikes!


Dancing With The Stars: Mya and Dmitry are by far the best dancers and their scores reflect this. Kelly Osbourne is adorable. Both Len and Bruno were wildly inappropriate (I can't get you out of my bed, Bruno?? A tutti-frutti booty, Len??) I think either Donny or Joanna is going home.

Castle: The only parts of this show I don't like are when Castle and Beckett aren't in a scene. I also figured out that the call girl was the one responsible a while before Castle and Beckett figured it out. Go me!

How I Met Your Mother: The playbook. The scuba diver was priceless. Also loved Ted trying out the Ted Moseby and reporting that it worked like a charm. Did you know you can really google Lorenzo Von Matterhorn and see all the fake crap that Barney says he created? That's what I love about this show...the devil's in the details!

The Big Bang Theory: Leonard, Howard and Raj head to the desert to watch HBO and a meteor shower and end up having some pot cookies instead: started off very funny and got a little old by the end, but still, overall, pretty funny. The other story involved Sheldon helping an injured Penny. That was very funny. I especially enjoyed their "Soft Kitty" duet. Jim Parsons really should get another emmy nod for his performance in this show.


So You Think You Can Dance: Ashleigh and Legacy are surprising the hell out of me. They're so damn...good. How the hell did that happen? Legacy's paso doble was fantastic. The bird dance was distracting...the music especially. Loved Ryan and Ellenore's contemporary. Travis Wall is my new favorite choreographer. Sorry, Mia Michaels. You left a hole in my heart that I suspect Travis might be able to fill.

V: I recorded it. Don't know that I'll actually be watching it though.

Dancing With The Stars Results: Well, Joanna and Derek are out. I didn't think she was as much a fan favorite as the other dancers. Too bad but I am looking forward to next week's finale. Skipped the musical performances so really the show was only about five minutes long so that wasn't too bad...


The Middle: Oh my god, does this show make me laugh. Still don't know why parents would ever name a kid Brick. Did they cover that in the series premiere maybe because I never watched that. Joe maintains he was like Axel when he was a kid. That, I believe.

Modern Family: Edward Norton is hysterical. Elizabeth Banks pretty much did the same character she did in The 40 Year Old Version.

So You Think You Can Dance: I predicted that Karen and Kevin would be in trouble. I was half right. Kevin's out but so is Channing. I'm beginning to think that Victor is bad news for his partners. He's on his third one now...Karen, watch your back. You could be next.

Glee: In this episode, the Glee kids sing ballads to one another. Rachel develops a crush on Will and Kurt nurtures his crush on Finn. Finn sings "You're Having My Baby" to Quinn, in front of Quinn's parents, who promptly throw her out. The show ends with the Glee kids singing "Lean On Me" to Quinn and Finn...awwwww, sweet!


Bones: Booth's grandfather makes an appearance. Clark starts to integrate better with the team and we're introduced to the "eaters and feeders" fetish. Well, I was introduced to it at any rate. Maybe other people already knew about it. Don't know why it was so heavy handed at the we're never going to see Pops again, you know?

Fringe: Observers in love...creepy. Joshua Jackson taking out the Observers' assassin? Kind of hot...

Supernatural: This was the last episode until January. It ended with Jo and Ellen both dying and Sam and Dean failing to take out Lucifer. I figured it would end that way because it's only November and what would the boys do for the rest of the season, right? But, really, what an excellent episode. We've had so many funny outing lately that I think you were especially clobbered by this one. Good, good stuff. Castiel is such a great character. Jo and Ellen were also quite awesome and I am sad that they are gone. The previews for the next show back (again, in January) seem reminicient of the season six episode of Buffy where she thought she was in a mental institution. Anyway, see you in the new year, boys.

Project Runway: Irina won. Called that weeks ago. Whatever. Moving on now.

Flash Forward: This episode centered around Bryce and his obsession with Keiko, the girl he saw in his flash forward. We thought they would meet in Japan but they'll end up meeting in Los Angeles...very, very cool twist. Mark was an ass and that's about it.

The Mentalist: This was a very good episode, I think. Four agents died, Red John reappeared and then disappeared. The singing of "Amazing Grace" at the end was a little over the top for me, but it was, overall, a good episode. I particularly liked the press conference scene where Virgil bitch clapped (verbally, not physically) the stupid reporter who asked how he was feeling about three agents (the fourth hadn't died yet) being killed.


Again, my Friday shows are made to suffer the embarrassment of being set aside as I attempt to reach seemingly unobtainable word count goals. But I hear Monk gets back on the force, so good for him!


Robin Hood: Three episodes left until the series is done. Over. This makes me very sad. At least I'll still have Legend of the Seeker, right? Anyway, in this episode, Robin and Gisborne join forces, roll around in the leaves some more (really, when Alan announced that Robin and Gisborne were fighting in the forest, someone should've responded with something like "Again? Must be Saturday.") to go to York and free their half brother from the sheriff of York's prison. The brother (who is damn good looking by the way) is screwing the sheriff's wife on the side and parlaying his- uh- position into getting extra food for his fellow prisoners. Robin and Gisborne argue over how to get their brother (conveniently named Archer) out of jail and then, of course, all hell breaks loose. At the end, Archer steals Gisborne's horse (man, that guy really can't catch a break, can he?) and goes to presumably join forces with Isabella. Two episodes's it all gonna end?

Friday, November 20, 2009

Vampires Suck.

So, in honor of the release of the second Twilight movie, New Moon, I was going to write this big essay type thing about the lameness that is Edward Cullen and his lot of so-called sparkly "vegetarian" vampires. I was going to write about real vampires and the differences between them. I was going to talk about Nosferatu and how freaking creepy (creepy in a good way...Dude's playing a vampire, for crying out loud. One should not want to cuddle with a vampire. Should not, anyway) Max Schreck played him. I was going to talk about Gary Oldman's performance as Dracula because I know it has to be good because Heather thinks it's the most romantic movie she knows, but I have yet to watch Gary Oldman's performance as Dracula. I was then going to talk about the Whedonverse (of course I was) and my favorite vampires of all time: Angel/Angelus, Spike, Drusilla and Darla, to be followed by a discussion about today's vampire and, if it wasn't for Damon Salvatore, I would think we had to stake the entire genre and start over because things have gotten wildly out of hand.

But, what happened is that I started writing this novel back on the first of November and I have to finish it (or at least hit the 50,000 word mark) by midnight on November 30th and it's been a little time consuming. I don't know how people who work full time jobs or have kids do this but they do and they're doing it better than I am. Kudos to them. I've hit the 30,000 word mark and even exceeded it, so I guess I'm in the home stretch. You know, if you can think if 19 thousand some odd words as the "home stretch". But it's more than half way, so I guess I can.

So instead of a big essay type thing about Vampires, I am going to write a little mini blur here. I am going to start with the disclaimer that the fourth Twilight book ruined the rest of the series for me. I was a casual Twilight fan until I read that fourth book. So I wasn't wild about the lame ass plot lines or the juvenile dialogue. I wasn't the least bit enamored by Bella's overwhelming and self destructive obsession with Edward. I would have preferred her to have some steel ovaries or something but whatever. It was harmless enough. Until the fourth book. It was probably the most horrifying thing I've ever read and I spent a lot of time going, "Oh my GOD. My thirteen year old niece is reading this...she isn't old enough to read this. I'm in my thirties and I'm not old enough to read this!" It's creepy and gross and did I mention horrifying?

But anyway, I was irritated by Edward as a vampire. He is so lame ass. There's a hysterical video about Edward Cullen meeting Buffy the Vampire Slayer that I posted here last month that really sums it up nicely. Ah, if only Buffy could make a cameo appearance in the next Twilight film. That would be awesome.

He's sparkly. He sparkles like diamonds in the sun. Unless it's the first movie and then he just looks like he's sweating profusely. He doesn't drink people blood (which is cool because neither does Angel or Spike...mostly...). He plays the piano and stalks high school girls. He, like his hair, is lame. He is not scary. He is never scary. Creepy but not in a good way. But not scary.

Vampires should be scary. They should not be creatures you want to run into in a dark alley. Nosferatu was a scary ass vamp. Angelus was a scary ass vamp and David Boreanaz played that character so well. Spike and Drusilla and Darla...all scary ass vamps. They'd even snap your neck if they didn't think you were worth the time to drain of blood (Sorry, Jenny Calendar). These are vamps who do not sit around composing lullabies for high school girls.

All right, so maybe Spike wrote poetry but it was freaking awesome poetry. Not many people would even attempt to rhyme the word "effulgent" with anything. Here's a clip of Spike mocking Angel (tried to find a clip of Spike reading his awesome poetry but no luck):

And how could I ever forget the episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer which brought us a bizarro world where Willow and Xander were both vampires. Evil Vampire Willow was especially scary...but awesomely so.

The Twilight vamps, not so much.

So there it is. My mini (or knee length) rant on vampires. And, one more time, because I love it, Buffy Versus Edward:

If only.

And now back to that last 19,000 some odd words...

Monday, November 16, 2009

Weekend Wrap Up: The Halfway Mark and Other Tales

I want to begin this morning with a special message for my asshole neighbors:

Stop letting your damn dogs use my yard as their own personal bathroom. Don't you think I have enough shit of my own to deal with without having to clean up after your dogs too? Seriously, I don't know why you think that's all right. And I know it's your dogs. I do. You're the two houses in the neighborhood with a penchant of letting your dogs outside off leash and unsupervised so they can romp and play and shit anywhere they want. I know that's a good deal for you because then you don't have to clean up after your dog nor do you have to see the disgusting messes they leave on my lawn (and probably others' lawns as well) but it's downright rude and I'm tired of it. I also know it's your dogs because I have two dogs who each go in two spots in my yard. I make sure they only go in two spots in my yard so that I don't have to search high and low for shit. But now I'm having to do just that because of your inconsideration, you big bunch of ass monkeys. So knock it off. If you do not cease and desist this course of action, I will collect your dog's shit and put it in a paper bag and leave it (possibly flaming) on your front door step. Don't you think I won't. And one last thing: Marie, I do not know what you feed your dog but seriously, you should change his diet because that shit is really damn disgusting. Trust me, you're not going to want a flaming bag of that poo on your doorstep even more than you wouldn't want a flaming bag of regular poo on your door step.

End rant.

So, how was everyone's weekend? Mine was great until a certain questionable call during a certain sporting event that aired last night. Then I started screaming a buttload of obscenities at my television. Joe then told me to settle down so I started screaming a buttload of obscenities at him too. Well, that's not true. He did tell me to settle down but I did not scream obscenities at him. You know, for a change. My words were all reserved for my (still) beloved Patriots.

Here's a special message for Bill Belichick:


End rant.

Let's see...what else? Oh yeah, yesterday was officially the Half Way Mark (Yes, I feel it's important enough to warrant capitalization) in my NaNoWriMo project. The target word count was 25,000 words. I started the day at 21 something thousand words. Then I went shopping with Heather for new jeans (had a 30% off coupon for Old Navy...), had Chinese food for lunch and then got caught up on my recorded television (Man, is it just me or is Legend of the Seeker like totally darker and scarier this season?) and THEN got to work. I started around 5pm. I finished at about 2:30 this morning.

But I did it. I hit the 25,000 word mark.

And a funny thing happened on my way to the half way goal. I started to give a damn about the story. I started to give a damn about the characters.

I wasn't really all that into it before. I was viewing this project as a way to keep my mind from obsessing on other things, as a way of challenging myself, but not as a viable project I would do anything with come December 1st.

Now I don't know what will come of it, but I want it to be good. I like my characters, I really like them, and I want them to have a good story. I don't want them to have a shitty experience because I was just trying to reach a word count goal. I'm not really sure what experience that'll be yet but one is definitely coming together. I had a good soundboard session with my brother and sister-in-law this weekend that's going to lead to a scene written later on today where my main character goes to the it'll be an action sequence for sure...

But for right now, I am suffering from a massive Pop Tart craving and so I think I'm going to give in and go out and get some. A friend of mine who is also doing the NaNoWriMo project thinks that counting words has taken the place of counting calories. And judging by the amount of candy I ended up eating yesterday, I have to say, I think she's right.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Television Week In Review (Week Ending 11/14/09)


The Amazing Race: The return of the dreaded hay bale challenge where Lena and Christie spent ten hours whatever season it was they ran the race...the gay brothers fought a lot, Meghan and Chenye fought a little but held up well, I think. The Globetrotters are still my favorites. They have the best attitudes. Gary and Matt also have good attitudes so I'm glad to know they're still in least for another week.


How I Met Your Mother: The scene in the station wagon was hysterical as was Fat Barney. Loved that Alan Thicke made an appearance. I am curious to know if we'll ever see the ill fated Canadian variety it's legendary! And, oh yeah, Robin and Barney broke up. So, so happy about that.

Dancing With The Stars: What kind of dogs does Kelly Osborne have? They remind me of puffskeins from Harry Potter (Ginny Weasley has one named Arnold in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince). Liked Joanne and Derek's robot Paso Doble. Very creative, so kudos to you, Derek.

Castle: I like Castle's interactions with his family and his interactions with Beckett and the detectives...scenes featuring the detectives without Beckett or Castle also, I think, fall flat. The Captain's line delivery was, I don't know, too stiff or something. It wasn't the most interesting mystery tonight either.

House: House and Wilson and Cuddy go on a road trip with an awkward 80s dance and an even more awkward encounter when House finds out Cuddy is dating PI Lucas. Oops. Liked House's comment to Cameron "Don't you hate it when everyone in the room knows something you don't?" and then later when House drugs Wilson in order to prevent Wilson from committing career suicide. Not the best episode of House ever but still a good one.

The Big Bang Theory: Leonard and Penny have a fight. As it turns out, Sheldon hates fighting but everywhere he turns, couples are fighting. Sheldon continues to be, by far, my favorite character.


V: So I recorded the series premiere and didn't get around to watching it and I recorded this week's episode too. I wanted to watch it because Morena Baccarin of Firefly fame is in it and I like to support the shows that feature former members of the Whedonverse...but there just wasn't time. So I was going to just delete the episodes. But then Joe caught a glimpse of Wash (Adam Tudyk of Firefly fame) and so then, with two former Firefly cast members, I just had to watch. Don't know yet if I like it. I thought the premiere was rather slow paced and a little boring, at least until right at the end. We'd accidentally seen the end of the second episode so we kind of knew already that Wash (or Dale as they call him in this show) was an alien but the other revelations were pretty good. I'll probably stick with it a little longer.

Dancing With the Stars Results: Susan Boyle and Michael Buble sang, and another couple (Aaron and Karina) was sent home. Dancecenter made another appearance...I love Dancecenter. It's entirely lame but at the same time, kind of funny.

So You Think You Can Dance: Kind of a lackluster night, really. No one particularly impressed me. A lot of the dancers had bad nights and the others were just all right.


So You Think You Can Dance Results: I thought Pauline and Robert would be in trouble. It's strange...I spent most of last season bemoaning how it wasn't as good as season four. And then it started to rock so now I'm bemoaning how season six isn't as good as season five. Anyway, the Quickstep proves once again to be the kiss of death...maybe they should rethink assigning that dance to couples.

Glee: It's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which makes me rather gleeful!!!!! This episode managed to surprise me. Who knew Sue Sylvester had a soft side? Loved the Diva-Off and kind of wish Kurt hadn't blow the high note but it's sweet (if sad) why he did. Puck or whatever Mohawk Kid's name is baking pot cupcakes?? Too damn funny...if horrible. Also, Will's wife was nowhere to be seen. Next week's episode looks like it'll be fun.


Bones: Missed the last couple of minutes because of a DVR mix up. Stupid DVR. But the stuff leading up to the end was good. I laughed a lot when Booth entered the wrestling ring and Bones trying to fit in with her use of colloquial language and phrases was amusing too. Plus, Gordon Gordon made another appearance and I always love it when Gordon Gordon makes an appearance.

Fringe: Figured the kid for the kidnapper and not the kidnapping victim long before they revealed it. Right now I am all about the preview for next week...Observers, Observers, Observers everywhere and I can't wait!

Flash Forward: Mark and Olivia go on vacation. It gets cut short because of a guy with a three star tattoo on his arm. Mark later kills the guy in a pet shop because he thinks it'll change his future with Olivia. Because there couldn't possibly be anyone else in the world with that same tattoo, Mark...Olivia throws away Mark's lingerie gift because it so happens its the getup she's wearing when she's sleeping with poker master (or at least master cheater...) Lloyd.

Supernatural: The boys are tricked into attending a Supernatural fan convention. Both chaos and hilarity ensue. Chuck is an awesome character. I laughed a lot at the end when Becky was breaking up with Sam. And then when Sam said to Chuck (in reference to the possibility of publishing more Supernatural books) that they had guns and will find him.

The Mentalist: Not a bad episode but I'm really more interested in seeing next week's outing. Three people die. Probably people no one cares about but still, drama, right?

Project Runway: Finale, part one. Carol Hannah is sick, Irina is uppity and mean and Althea is just...there. Can't wait for this season to be over. I've heard that the next season is already filmed and just waiting to be aired. I really, really hope there are better designers.


I haven't watched any of my Friday shows yet. Contrary to what this blog might suggest, I some times have things to do apart from watching television.


Robin Hood: I haven't watched this episode yet but I'm a little worried about it because it's a flashback episode or something and Robin and Gisborne find out they have some familial connection? Whaaaat?